And I am asked "What u want me to do?". I would think for a long moment and helplessly more untruthfull answer, what they want to hear and not what I want to speak. I do the same not for I am tired of speaking my desires or I conceal them in me. But speaking what they want to hear would eliminate the need to explain and it would be easier for them to understand. No reproach no condemnation. Just an unwanted approval and resistless acceptance.... may be this is the part I hate most. Thats why I hate it, I hate it all. I hate them, I hate them all. And then serendipitously I would find my thoughts being admired. My thought? But i have not spoken them, they are still unrevealed. I just givewhat they want and I take pride in my thoughts. Then this moment comes heavly repeated over every moment as the time passes at 1 hour per hour speed. I become an aimless fake. And end up being one Lie. A strong desire I hold is to loudly cry.