On seriousness, laziness and happiness

Disclaimer: This is like a preachy note from second paragraph, don't read if you hate them :D

I have always been lame. More because I am too lazy to try and understand things. I am happy in my own den. Lately I do not tend to pick discussion/argument and I choose to ignore anything that is not humorous or vulgar. I have lost that conspicuous desire to be taken notice of and the oozing dream of being looked at by every other girl. They seem boring now. I enjoy just sitting with a void mind, my back resting on the couch, head thrown back. Not even willing to fantasize I rather choose to listen to people and laugh about it on my own. I was told I must be serious, its serious discussion, I just can't laugh like that.
My mind rushed back in time till my childhood, its not new that I am being asked to be attentive for a "serious" discussion. It has always been the case with me. After puting a lot of load on my grey matter I could finally understand what is classified as a serious issue. Let's bullet them down:

• Anything that can result in loss or profit of money
• Anything that can result in win or loss of "image" you carry
• Anything that can result in increase or decrease in age
• Anything that goes against the self interest

All of these point revolve around one central point and that is "defending your self interest". Nobody is exactly the person every one else thinks him to be. Including his parents/spouse. But he spends his life defending that perception which varies from each person to the other, quite an engaging job isn't it? Engaging enough to comsume a lifetime! After a particular age, does it matter if you live 10 years more or 10 years less? To me it does not. self interest changes with time, age, context, mood and accessibility so a lot of variable factors attached. Can not spend time brooding over somthing so unstable. Aspirations, ambitions, award, reward all fall under it. Brain is an amzing machine you remember those moments from past when you were not "so serious" about it. Cause those moments made you ecstatic.
In reality there ain't anything called as a serious thing, everythying is as nonsensical as any other. Life is like a F1 race, all you have to do is take a seat, fast the seat belt and enjoy the ride! If you concentrate too much on the drift, gear, clutch, tuning and winning you lose all the beauty and fun. Cause it does not matter if you end top or bottom or not even complete the journey. Wht matters and true is 'it ends anyway' with or with out you.

Truly
Abinash

Of life, Of love, Of sex

Life always fascinates me, it fascinated me as a joyful child and as a mournful loner. I was creative as far back as I could remember and I can sense it diminishing thoroughly as my memory retreats from that far back time to reach present. It has been kinda smooth for me, the life. I almost never worried much as to what I would do when I grow up, I never spared my thought to find out what are my natural instinct and dreams. I have always been lazy, sensitive to emotions, marginally insecure and broadly nonsensical. My natural instinct would be to reject any idea that I fear is superior to that of mine, instantly. But then I have come in terms with that behavior and have made it perish lately. I have learnt to accept things for the way they are, people for the way they are. And its a pleasing sense. Much better than the sadist egoistic satisfaction I used to get by rejecting them earlier. I feel more secure now, my thought remain more indifferent to the outer world that way. Life has brought me many surprises. Most of them are good and for good. I feel lucky. And thankful most of the times. Dubious incidents now make sense to me and I rejoice. I feel change is good and thrive for it. My inner most desire to cling to the things I love, things I want to preserve has faded away. This desire of holding makes you unhappy. As my heart is now relieved of any such desire, I find my thoughts falling into place, mostly filled with satisfaction and not obsession. Life as I have learnt is a set of memory, good or bad, but its just a set of memory. Imaginations take shape and I see my life, now more beautiful  and free. Free of restricted dreams, sublime fame, sense of  obvious pretense for being in a society of materialistically gone mad fellow living beings.  I now feel no sad for my fame to die or name to go bad. For my face not being recognized by college juniors, smiles not being given back by beautiful colleagues. Euphoria and ecstasy drive me away not being drifted by the magnetic fatal attraction of  wealth, fame and "sense of achievements". Life is to live, and living is synonymous to happiness. Happiness is a fairly uncomplicated term and never momentary. I feel lucky and I feel more happy as I feel I am mortal. I feel my life has just begun.

Love is a good thing to experience. It makes you smile when you are alone. Sitting on a deserted hillock or on your porch, you feel you belong to some one. Your heart race and blood pressure builds, eyes closed you delve into dreams. Pure euphoria. Love for me has never been a boon. I tried to make love my mistress may be and it cursed me. I was always longing to be in love. And I fell in it indeed. For that part of my life I would name it lovely. Yes, thats how you feel. Lovely. Concentration rich the peak it can ever get to. Always focused on the loved one. Smiles never stop, and joy seems just to be beginning every passing day. In the shadows of unknown crowd and strange land the sens of your hand being held by the one you love, the sense of you love being with you makes you sail. You embark unafraid of the storms that may await you. Just you. You defy the misfortune that may lust you. But love is too mortal like man. Its born as a cute innocent thing, grows to become a complex, confused and entangled not-so-good thing and die naturally or mutilated in an undesired way. But it dies with or before you. An unnaturally dead love, leaves scars that hurt and haunt for the rest of life. Still "peeda main anand jise ho, aye wo meri madhushala". Love is the only of its kind where even paint is ecstatic. You restlessly chase this pain, just to get possessed by it once. And this pursuit is worth it.

                 He who feels the pain of his own soul, and clings to it

                and yet thrives to spend his whole life, in that one moment of pain

               he is the man in true love, he is the man of true form

Love is the drink of gods disguise, this moment is your last chance, go get drunk.

Sex as a word makes ripples of current run through your spine as it does as an act. Its one of the best gifts nature has given to human. To love and to lust out of love. Every human act is closely associated with one thing, ego. Ego is the driving force of life. And sex is a man's alter ego. Its spells how you are. A philosopher knows everything in the world are fallacies. But lust of the beloved is a purest form of emotion like true prayer. Its unfiltered, unrestricted, soulfully desired and magnificently ecstatic. I have always been fascinated by it. Desiring to enact myself as the best lover the world has ever seen. Every one does. Often I get obsessed with it too. Not anymore. sex is life in compact. You start excited, you want it to never end, but only the end makes it worth it. And you forget how much you enjoy when you do it. Sex like life is a set of memory. A hundred small things make a complete act of passion. And you try to cling to each of them but you can not as a rule cause you have to rush for the end. That is the goal. And to enjoy it fully you must spend just enough amount of time doing it that your body naturally drives itself to. Otherwise soon its monotonous and you lose the whole purpose of it. Same, analogous to life. Let the mind drive itself. Don't drag it. Don't push it hard. Just remember you have to enjoy each moment of if but its enjoyable cause it has an end, a climax and that keeps you driving. In life you die and in sex you orgasm. Enjoy it, making love to your beloved is not a shameful act live living your life is never one too. The man who says so is the man who never lives. Sex is sin just in dead man's dictionary.

       My beloved's embrace is the heaven for me, I find solace only there

      From ruins I rise too, with the sense of my beloved's desire

     my enemies, the world how would they know, I am a man in love, my soul has caught fire.

Truly

Abinash

Lets count it right, lets live!

Life is a set of moments, like a video. Each momemt logically clinging to each other. And we count them to judge our own life. We measure can measure our life in two ways: with number of un answered calls, mails and messages or with the number of calls, mails and messages we got. The first one hurts, lets you down and kills your happiness. The secon one joys, puts you up and gives reasons to be happy. The first one actually are the people who never cared, and never made any difference. The second one is of the people who care and who want to make a difference. The counts never end. Life does. Who remember and forget in the same sequesnce. We remember each unanswered mail, call and ,message. We forget each mail, call, message we receive. We err, we are human. we find so inner thrust for sad moments. We remember the tears and forget the smile. We live a wrong life. We die a right death. An unhappy death. We must count the other way. LIve a happy life and die an inifferent death. Don't measure your life by the number of people you missed, measure by the number you ahve gained. Be happy.

Of late is often too late

The realization that comes in of late are often too late. The feeling of not being some one's first love or not being love at all. The sense of being pitied. The feeling of not being so charming. The sense of rejection. The worries of perpetuation. The declined happiness. The loneliness. The refuge in solitude. The sense that you are just as volatile at some one's heart who is as permanent and constant at yours. But things happen, like anything else. Things change and take different shape like everything else. Life is as weird as it is. And you at some point in future would look back at it, what you now call present. Then nothing would remain neither this pain nor this emptiness. But you would give a smile, just a smile at yourself. and you will move on. Thats life, strange, wild and deep. But some feelings that comes of late are never too late.. like the realization "even this will pass".

Truly
Abinash

Matlab ka sansaar

Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar....
Sabkuch hai bekaar, yahan pe sab kuch hai bekaar.

Haani laabh ki tulna hoti, dukh ka hai byapaar..
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar.

log bure, buri hai ye duniya, bura iska adhaar
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar

Lahu se hori khel hai hota, hota hai deh byapaar..
Bol ka na koi mol yahan par, bas milte hain tiraskaar
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar

Prem bhav jo machal uthe kahin, cheere use nafrat ka dhaar
Bhabnaon ki na koi kadra yahan pe, na hai wosulon ka koi bhaar
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar

Transition

It was crowded like any other day. shiny cars
with beautiful ladies inside halting at the red
traffic light. And in the hustle of crowd people
running off the foot path to make a fortune
though tiny from this halted traffic of rich.
Except for one. The little boy, crying silently
on the footpath. Eyes just brimming with tear, yet
to come out. The silent cry lost in the noisy
engines. Bare body he did not care about how rich
these people are and how poor his fellow mates
are. All he cared about was about his need. He
needed care. Getting off the bike I went slowly
to the kid, asked his name but got two droplets of
tears running down the black chicks as answer.
At least I freed what he was holding back. Tears.
He didn't care even about me or my existence. He
ran back on the footpath till he reached a
distance he felt safe. Looked back at me. I
smiled, he cried.Again. And he vanished from my
sight. I could no longer hear the noise of the
engines nor of those rich man shouting on their
cell phones. It was a silent world for me. I was
waken back to the noisy reality by a traffic
constable shouting over my shoulder for my
license and why I have parked the bike on the
footpath. In almost slow motion I could feel
myself drifting from what I feel real to what
they feel real. From silence to noise. From
individual need to mass desire. From myself to
the political society. I went on.

P.S. It was on this Koramangala signal (near my

office) Tuesday morning.

Truly
Abinash

The day was on my side

I looked at her. Again. A smile ran through my eyes reaching beyond the feeling. The bright stern face, the glittering eyes and the dangling earing creating a rhythm. The lips half open. And pink. I realized how pink did pink looked.
She unaware of my glare at her turned her back on me. Again. But the hairs with an aroma and shine were still worth watching. I kept my gaze on. The morning seemed to be on my side. She turned a little pretending almost trying to avoid an eye contact. But it was an eye contact. I still hold the gaze. She smiled from the corner of her eyes. Almost realizing I was waiting for it.
The saw the fingers with pink gel. Straight and agile. Even they spoke like her eyes. I moved on. Again. And the day came to an halt. The day was on my side. I earned this beauty. I earned her smiling eyes that day.

Truly
Abinash

Denial is painful - in all forms.

....Lately I am a distinct looser, appeased with my loss and fugitive discordant set of emotions!!! But I am still distinct.

... this is what my Google talk status message says. Denial is painful. In all forms. Human is not merely a social animal, human is also an emotional animal. I preach about correct use of emotions. Power of emotion and all those abstruse stuffs, all along. But of late I realize I am a mere man too. Like any one else. A mere mortal fighting a battle to over come the apparent flaws in the way we live. At the end of the day when I stand in front of the mirror I realize I have gained no more than only the knowledge of the truth. Knowing and doing are different. I just know. I have failed to do. And that makes me vulnerable and fragile. I feel pity. Pity for myself. Helpless I feel. But feelings are transient I am aware but also I know they are too overwhelming at times to be controlled. And I feel let down. As I am feeling now. The discordant emotion take shape of incoherent thoughts and drive no they drift me the way they want. And my remnant is no more than an entity in harmonic motion. From one ext ream to other restlessly.
Denial ignites this flame and the uncontrolled emotions fuel it. I remain just a shadow in this unreal world. I become a flaw. I become a mad mind desperately seeking some solace. Some sympathy. Seeking every where but within. Because I know if I seek it with in I will find it. I don't want that. I enjoy this madness. I like this hopeless despair some how. I find peace in looking at my soul succumb to the madness. I rejoice over it. I remain a different me.
Denial is painful. In all form. Thats what just remain. The pain and the denial.

Finally in Love

It was little different then usual. It was a day I felt the feeling. The innocent beautiful face almost in slow motion would move on my eyes. The lips would stretch a little to be called smiling. And I smile. The smile of immature love. The smile of solace you find no where else. she would look at me. And I feel the chill looking into her deep, adorable brown eyes. A sublime current euphoria would run through my body and I take my eyes away in an almost involuntary way, almost because it is voluntary. The man ego plays the role. You can't be staring at some one. But pretend the eye contact is accidental. The demeanor must reflect some kinda of false attitude. But love is overwhelming when ever it strikes, may be thats why its not a emotion and residue of all others, thats why its love. The most powerful of anything. A deep force of confession, ecstasy, revival, life, hope, will and divinity. Love.
In a chase of her one glimpse I would behave in almost stupid way. Almost for other don't catch it. You are not stupid as long as you are considered wise. She won't let me have that satisfaction of at least acquaintance. But I am glad. The characteristic of acquaintances would devise a screen of politeness never can be removed. Better be unknown. Who wants to know? Love does not demand cognizance, love lies in pure ignorance. Love lies in the submission of everything for the sake of faith. Its past, hence its a fact. That I loved her. But its still in the present so its a lively fact. And truth in present is as rare as time in past. I wont loose it. Its mine.
And the I love her is mine too.

The shadow and Me

A lighted cigarette in hand, few moist hairs hanging out and self deceiving smile. The re-imaging of self image while siting on my bed listening to gazal and struggling to type correctly I could think of only what I have become lately. What I am out for? What is it I want? Am I lonely? have I realized of late that I am a moron? Am I a intellectually handicapped guy? Or is it that I have become too complex? Do I do the things I do? Do I do them for I want to do or for I pretend that I want to do? Perplexed, annoyed I swhich off all the thoughts. Then I regain, I regain myself. I feel that chill. I feel my own possession. I am smiling again but this time its not deceiving its reassuring. I take a gaze on myself and here I am standing in the balcony staring involuntarily at the shadow before me. It my shadow. I think how my shadow has become longer than me, all most but not quite like a monster. I try out run my shadow, I fail. I try out last my shadow I fail. I try our cast my shadow I fail.
I realize my shadow is my self image. My shadow is as false as my body and my shadow is what gives me the courage, there is light even behind me. I have traveled a path of light. For I can see my shadow i have defeated darkness. Then My shadow moves with me, and I cant see it no more. I cant see it no more for I have realized the direction. I need not see it any more. The shadow has served its purpose. I am on the right path now. I am in the direction of the source. The source of light. My shadow made me turn around and seek the source. The dark shadow. The ugly monstrous shadow.
The life is same. The life does it all. It gives dark and monstrous opportunities to realized the path. To realize the source. Turn around set your face off it. Follow the infinite. Don't follow your shadow, let it follow you. Thats where lies life.

Truly
Abinash

Life is where lies light.

"Its a choice. A choice of yours to decide if you want to change your notion. For your believes are not going to outlast you. Neither you are going to outlast them. Both will cease to exist. Move on, get over it, you are as mortal as your thoughts. Understand the fact and understand the existence. The stubborn mind is fugacious. Then what for you feel the pride in? You are "never-lasting" what you misunderstand it to be "ever-lasting". The actions won't remain the same, they will change and they will die. The remnant you confuse to have in this world after you depart will die. The world will die. This is a mortal world. Understand. The "system" the life, the choices all are on the same mortal cord still they have their stints. Understand the purpose of action, nature and the changes. The system creates scope for you every moment to understand it, to pursue the fact. The scope is here in every moment like light. The life is like the spectrum of light. Travels in all possible directions in all [possible dimensions at each point of existence. This speaks the immortal existence of the being. The unconditional and un-dimentional existence. Understand the scope, understand the system.
Don't waste this coherence of transience in unnecessary psychology. The emotions are a strong equipment for understanding the system. Don't mislead yourself faraway with the illusion that its ever lasting. Understand its "never-lasting."
Give up the unnecessary psychological cord. Apathy is where lies the key to understand inner existence.

Truly
Abinash.

A trivial conversation with substantial expression.

Well weird though profound. Crap still intellectual. And a mere conversation yet a powerful expression. Check HERE to know what it is. Its a small conversation and one amazing guy Shailesh (Shallu bhai as I call him). He has got some nice posts in there. Check them out :)

Truly
Abinash

And still she was standing

She was looking straight into my eyes, motionless and wordless. The dark face, though surprisingly calm and beautiful, the tiny body naked except for the worn out small skirt, the swinging hands more like a pendulum as if the body is too weak to carry them. The hairs scattered and untidy, brown and uncombed, dry and unoiled, dead and dusty. She stood there with the distended belly emerging out of the small torso, encrusted nose. The face carried mark from all over the time speaking of their own saga. One she might have got collecting plastic in the garbage bin. The other below the right eye she might have got while running to avoid the barking mad dog. The encrusted wounds she might have got a thousand times. But she stood there with a faint smile. The marks speaks of her suffering and undefined and uncared pain. But she stands their with an innocence still intact, dreams still preserved and the unseen hope. She is too small to understand the politics of living world but surely she understands the morning sun, the evening moon and the chilly wind. may be thats why she still stands there looking straight into the eyes, with the anticipation she is ceased of.

P.S. Yesterday while returning home from office took a stop in a store to buy a Pulpy Orange beverage drink. And I found her standing near a drain and looking at me. I was confounded and and I confusingly but with conviction gave her the pulpy orange, reluctantly she accepted and stayed still looking at me. :)

Truly
Abinash

Frustration's medicine - Marriage

Yesterday I met one of my friends (not exactly more of an acquaintance than a friend). Quite surprisingly she was excited to see me! After exchanging formal greetings I happened to ask so whats new? "When are to getting married?". "In june." :P I was taken a back. I just asked that as I didnt have have anything else to ask. Now she says she is really getting married. I banged on the target all by chance. I said so "you got the perfect man, eh?" "I don't know" she responded. Its an arrange marriage. I was surprised again. she used to be the one who scorns arrange marriage and a devotee of so called love marriage. Now its she before me proclaiming her marriage in an arranged manner. I said "but you never wanted to get a guy "arranged" for you?" Yeah but you see its the perfect age to get married and you should. But does there a perfect age for something? I mean its about the guy you gonna spend the rest of your life(at least supposed to) and how come you can decide on something so important on the sheer basis of age? "Its the time a girl must get married." My thought its not the right time you are talking about getting married you are talking about girl. You are really really pissed off being single and not getting the TDH, guy with attitude. Its that you are now restless with the inner desire to lose the tag of virginity. You want to sleep with a man ain't u.I told her "is it that you are really want to get married just that you feel its the age?" She was uncomfortable with question and the friendly disposition changed instantly. That revealed it all. Its not the age its the desire. Its no more like, I am want to have sex as I am married. Its like I want to be married as I want to have sex. Even I want to sleep with a girl but just that I have not put it so high on my list of priority and desires, so am not desperate to get married just to sleep and no more be single and frustrated

I am He

The sun was fading-in paving way for the half lit moon. The whole world seemed to be dying in with the dying sun.
The moon was taking over sun and the darkness over light. The wind too changed the direction so as the birds. I was standing on the edge of the day where it was not going to end but begin the next morning. Arms spread out to embrace the scent that the soothing wind would bring with it. Like a man who know himself I stood there with the definite indifference, unprecedented. And then I asked "Who am I". And I got the reassuring answer "I am Him". Looking directly the moons and the millions of sparkling stars into the eyes, I could realize my nonexistence. Gravity seems to be broken and with it the fear of falling, falling of weight, falling with time, falling in life. The whole world was a theme, a beautiful theme conspiring against and for you. There was a feeling never before, there was a desire never desired, there was a sense never felt. There was me, and I was possessed by myself. I am He.

Truly
Abinash

The difference

It was raining outside, each drop falling with a
resonating sound, creating the immortal smell of
soil. The drops would fall and spread as dancing
ripples. The whole flow was predefined and
beautiful beyond consciousness.
Standing on the edge of porch all my thoughts
could assimilate is the memory of a similar
evening, a evening which had one exception to it.
I was not alone. Her presence made all the
ambiance and the horizon more convincing, more
desirable and I embraced them all. The whole new
feeling was blessed with her mesmerizing smell,
the sharp touch and the glittering beauty.
The whole new world seemed to be recreated at the
marvelous stroke of the artist who created.
The whole theme of life was revived with the thought of her presence. Thats the only difference between the rainy evening then and now. Thats the only difference.

Truly
Abinash

A philosophy for life

Life should be lived looking forward and not back ward they say. But how do one looks forward? I learned it may be the way to anticipate goal and achievements for yourself and live by the sheer joy and hope that some day you will achieve them. Some day for sure. This philosophy of living is rather filled with illusions still one can suffer the transient happiness. subtly you deceive yourself in a way that it becomes all most an addiction. A crazy obsession that thrives with the time. You try to get solace with this preoccupied confounded brain which knows nothing but few of these unrealistic still widely claimed futuristic materialistic possessions. They soon become the guiding rule for the life and you are drifted towards the agony of behemoth ignorance. This deflection of self away from self is what they call as life.
But when u start to take retrospective approach of philosophy of living. You may suffer a transient discordance of brain and heart, but it will lead you closer to a path which can be traversed by none other than your self. The past sins and the achievement will enlighten your present and not future in contrast with the futuristic approach of life. But then its the present thats alive for past is dead and future is not born yet. The suffering comes when we consume the present to produce the future - which is undefined. We afford to loose the present and forget the time bygone to be in the fake euphoria and not ecstasy. A true happiness can be achieved when we look back at past and realize the present and never care about the future. Just being assured that your present action is righteous and filled with satisfaction future will draw itself automatically in the flow. after all they are all related with cosmic logic. Like the future direction of any object is defined by the direction of force you apply on it at the present.
Its all blissful man can have for himself a retrospective approach for life.

Truly
Abinash

Beautiful illusion

Traveling to places and exploring their significance has its own charm. But for me people are rather more important than the place itself of course with few exceptions though. I had been to hyderabad so many times. But never did I visit any places, that seemingly glorify Hyderabad. Its always the guy my best friend, its an offense if I would say my best friend. He is a part of me. I find solace with him. Its just his company that I can travel to Hyderabad every day. Life is simple for us, we understand life is an illusion but we can always and we do make this illusion as beautiful as possible. For we have to stand this illusion till we die, no mater when. He is an extraordinary guy I would say. Indifferent, tolerant beyond what god has granted for human, an soothing soul and a pleasant disposition.
It was when the train whistled I realized its time to board the train. I went in and stayed back at the door. He was looking back at me with a calmness that would make you re-think your own perception of life. The iron wheels would roll with the command of their master and the train moves, with the moving wagon moves few illustrious body as mine, moving away from a pleasing illusion to another. But he holds on to the side bar and keeps his vision intact till the last glimpse can be consumed. I would look at him from the forwarding (or back warding) iron monster till I could afford to with out being played out. But its not the departure that keeps me thinking. Its the cognizance that I am ignorant of the fact, the fact that keeps man driving. why god makes some illusions so beautiful? Why at all? And I would keep on recreating the motions like a child fantasizing about a movie and customizing it with his own imagery. But then I learn the light lies there. The illusion's truth is there in being seeking happiness for the sake of life, for the sake of truth. And the illusion is blessed with people like him for may be I have been doing good with god. Thanks for his presence in my life. Thanks to god.

Living free somewhere

I had written it long back. Posted it today :)
So may not be upto the standard still, I thought it deserves a publication.

Don't search for me here,
I have abandoned this place.

Don't look for me in your memory,
I live there no more.

I have divorced life, I have cheated death,
Love for me no more, I am free somewhere.

Longing to be loved, seen and admired
I quited this earth to pursue my desire.

Its no heaven here, nor its any hell,
I don't know what makes them different
But yeah it has innocent wind, shining days and starry nights.

Yeah, the gods don't stay here, I live alone,
with my dreams pursued, life cherished and a sedated soul.

My soul laughs at me, laughs also my shadow,
But who cares them, I am living free somewhere.

Truly
Abinash

Fighting a loosing battle

I am not what I seem.
I am nothing but a dream.

I have changed awfully. I loosing on my courage. There was a time I used to be dangerously courageous. I would be afraid of nothing, no death could frighten me. I have changed and the only thing I am worried and I am sad about is I am loosing on my courage. I am afraid at time. I am growing lazy, that comes 2nd worry. I at times imitate others thats the 3rd worry. But still.... its good I have realized the problem early (or may be late) so that I can work on them. Wish me luck, wish me the grace of God.

Truly
Abinash