Ek Sabera roshan fir ayaa

Ek sabera roshan fir ayaa
suraj samundar main dubki leke bahar nikal aya
wo phool patte aur chanchal tittliyaan
wo baagon main khelti hui gilhariyaan

Ek sabera roshan fir ayaa
jharno ki behti dhun saath layaa
wo udte parinde nikalpade asmaan ki aur
wo dharti sajj uthi jaise jashn ka sor

Ek sabera roshan fir ayaa
sunehre kirno ke saath roshni layaa
wo school jate mashoom bachhe
wo khwahishon se bhari din ki suruwat, thode bure thode achhe.

Ek sabera roshan fir ayaa
zindako ko ek naya din dikhlaya.

Truly
Abinash

N.B. Script is in English as any readers can understand yet can not read Hindi.

A morning

A morning, when it starts brings many things with it,
A day, may be sunny,  times its rainy
Bright at times and overcast sometimes.
May brings a hectic overworked target
or it may just becomes a lazy passing day.
It brings good news with it and some bad too.
It brigs friends together and the parting pain as well.
A day brings birth day cakes like it brings empty plates.
Happiness may flow with it, sorrow we must bear too.
Flowers we get many, we must endure a thorn few.
It makes us weak but gives strength for tomorrow
teaches us to smile in deep sorrow.
hearts break with the storm it brings, but true love bond and cling.
A hot day then brings a chilly night, and sweet dreams with it,
it also brings a brighter ray, and we live another day.
A day it may seem, but life is what it makes and reflects
With faith in heart,  lets feel blue
Together with love, lets make us from I and you.

Truly
Abinash

Inception movie review

Movie: Inception
Director & Writer : Christopher Nolan(Of the dark knight fame); Music : Hans Zimmer
Starring : Leonardo Di Caprio, Marrion Cottillard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy
Rating: 4/5

Well, how should a movie about dreams or rather cascade of dream should be like? Interesting? Yes it is. One has to be alert in mind to understand and hence appreciate it though. Its about a series of dreams, dreams inside dreams and plantation of ideas in the subconscious of others and the adventures involved in doing so. The first half is almost spent in building up the plot and explaining the idea. So the first half is little slow paces and ain't as interesting. The totem as explained in the first half summaries the movie later at the climax in a surprisingly interesting way, keeping you anticipate.subtle use of physics here and there is well presented.
But a few not so interesting and explanation lacking parts just merely added to the spiderweb. The ability of Decaprio's dead wife to intervene in some one else's dream, the inability to come back if dead when sedated etc. But they had to made it look as plausible as possible and yet to make it intrigue so I guess that will not create much trouble unless some one invests too much of thoughts into it. The parallel movement of many plots is handled very nicely and crafted very exquisitely into one smart point. Characters are not built up pretty nicely to leave a memory for post movie discussions. Dialogues could have been improved. But to summarize, its a nice movie, awesome concept and well thought plots. Worths a watch and worths a hearty appreciation.

If I were the director: I would have fast tracked the first half too. Instead of explaining the concept theoretically, a small adventurous drill could have been planted in the first half. Dialogues should have been well written in relevance of the complex concept. There ain't really any dialogue that I remember.

Truly
Abiansh

The Dhol which was never noticed

Being deaf to outside world sometimes makes you feel joyful. While appreciating the amazing beats of punjabi dhol, with enhanced calrity by the sophisticated HP ear phones, I leaped into the past where I heard it first. The beats, that thousand others are appreciating like me, are actually not a new creation. They have always existed. Now they are staged, converted into video with pretty girls and made compatible to work with face book or the iPOD. This make me brood over the past where I heard it first.
We called it "Daang Chadha" back in my place. Its a form of Indian art, a gymnastic actually. with rope tied onto two bamboob pillars and perfectly balanced with all laws of mechanics satisfied, a tiny girl would walk over it, on a cycle rim, balancing herself with just a stick. With the beats of the Dhol, she would bounce at times. The same beats, I now enjoy with the luxuary of a computer and air conditioner and choose to call it "awesome". The street gymnast would make a living out of it, degree of earning depends on the generosity of the crowd. And then they move to a different locality. No one in the crowd back then appreciated this dhol though. Its the less adventurous and more riskful journey that girl fetched the fractional india currencies, now obsolete. And now when we have a "sense-of-appreciation" the art form is almost on the verge of extinction. The calibre went uncapitalized, the music went un-marketed. The street gymnasts melted away with the obsolescence of those tiny currencies which made them their living.

Now when I go home, I don't hear that dhol anymore to feel excited about and compete to be a part of the front row crowd, but I do see banners of highly paid rather mediocre artists performing. Strange country India is. And we just made ourselves a little more stranger to it.

P.S. Today India is excited about having given a symbol to the currency, but never realizing that its time to give India a symbol, thats beyond the nation emblem. The strength of India lies in the fact that its strange and every bit is different than the other. Just that we need to appreciate them, stage them, market them and give them a symbol.

Truly
Abinash

Coast to coast (Coast II Coast) - A review

What makes a good meal? A tasteful treat for the taste buds right. But what makes a great eat out experience is far more than a good meal. Thats exactly where coast to coast restaurant fails miserably!

Review:

Food: Excellent
Service: Pathetic, poor, hopeless, piteous
Courteousness of staff: Rude, misbehaving, impatient and they will make you regret your decision of choosing this restaurant.
Ambiance: Good
Over all experience: Poor

This is about the Coast to coast restaurant in Koramangala, Bangalore.
They have a bigger branch at MG Road and that is surprisingly much better than this.

Detail review:
The variety of sea food and chicken is a sure delight for any seafood lover. This certainly is going to make you feel wow!
Specially the Pomfret masala, Angel Tawa fry, Silver fish rava fry with Chicken Ghee roast and appam or neer dosa.

So far so good, but once they guy come in to take orders the experience turns out to be horrible. They make you feel as if the meal they serve is free. And if you are in big number say 4-5 than that may get you a seat immediately otherwise they make you wait for 30 minutes though 3, 6 seater tables lay free.

If its the MG road branch its a two thumbs up, if its koramangala, 4 thumbs down.

Truly
Abinash

Random Idea again

Ever thought why the real estate business gives exponential returns? And what is the essence of real estate business?
Its the futuristic value of the rather constant and invariable property. The property does not grow as such, it continues to stay where it is. What grows is the business, civilization and demand around it. Hence it becomes a shout after place at a high rate.

Now coming to the idea. Whats the real estate in the web world?? In web all we have is a browser to surf the infinite space of data cloud. We build website and web applications for that and like real estate we have got an address for them too! Wow. That means the address is the value identifier.

Why can't we buy domain names that may be of interest in future for the bigger players to suit their business essence or self explanatory domain names to make a particular business idea identified? We can. and we can buy them now and keep them and later can put them up for auction as and when the business of similar essence starts catching up!

All about becoming a web realtor!

Truly
Abinash

Just a Random Idea - Laptop cell phone

I was watching a movie on my laptop and I had set my cell phone on charge in the other room. When I saw the phone, it had 5 missed calls! May be the movie was just too addictive but why at all this has to happen? Why can't we have a cell phone in my laptop? probably when I am not using my laptop even then? Like we can put the laptop in to sleep or hibernate, we can have a simple software to take care of it when the laptop is on and there might be a small mode called phone more where the battery will cater to the phone processor may be? And a small display to use the laptop as phone when its not on and may be a software display panel as cell phone display when its on. Why not? Well we can refine the usability and extensibility further. But to take it further as a business idea can you see some unrealizable challenges? I don't.

Truly
Abinash

Autopsy of a meeting

Ah, recently I attended a meeting where concerns were (supposed to be) addressed.
But I will make a generic analysis of such meeting before moving to make it specific.

What actually the statistics like employee survey or company policies reveal?
Ok, we will take an instance of any employee satisfaction survey and how the management plans to handle the good and no so good results.
1.
An employees perspective of the survey:
Its anonymous, so if I have any frustration, complex or complain I would rather express myself generously.

Managements response:
But we do conduct personal meeting with employees and we encourage freedom of expression so ideally the employee should do that upfront as and when need be.

Reality's take on it:
Its a human attitude to be timid, pretentious and introvert. Most of the people will rather keep quite then to stand up and speaks (Specially in India other wise some mediocre politician could never out speak us to be voted).

2.
An employees perspective of the survey:
If something is bad I must make it look worse, may be then they will consider it seriously.

Managements response:
All the employee response are facts so lets address them in a meeting and get first hand account whats wrong.

Reality's take on it:
The employee made the bad look worse anonymously, will he not make the bad look good when its public? I lier remains a lier. No meeting can fetch you clear data.

Now what happens in the meeting:
The employees never take these meetings seriously. Cause they manage to hide themselves behind a mass and hence feeling secure. For them its another meeting where issues will be just discussed. Cause they never revealed the root cause. So they know the management just knows anything but the real reason.

(Reality is the survey needs to be changed. Satisfaction is not objective. It cant be answered in binary. Satisfaction is subjective, there is always a degree or extent involved in it. They fundamental flaw is when they ask if you are satisfied under different norms, they actually are not interested in knowing the real reason. The attempt is to bias the answer in an indirect way to suit to the picture we want them to be projected in. Hence the real concern remains under the hood.)

The management equipped with wrong (mostly exaggerated) data start a rather wrong analysis in a failed attempt to zero in on the real cause. Hence the disinterested employees look blank through out the meeting and when they come out they have not reduced but added to the woes.

Specific scenario:

Compensation related: The management declares we are competitive as per the last survey. and there is no problem.

Employees psychology: A person unlike prefers to work against the law of gravity. They don't intend to leap from high ground to lower. They intend to or aspire to leap from high to higher ground. The salary of a same category company can never satisfy one after a while for the simple reason they don't aspire to go there. But they aspire to go to the ones considered higher to the one they are in. So may be marginally but being a little ahead in terms of salary from the peer or competitor just to be above the current bracket and create a category of own will never hurt but add to the company reputation, satisfaction and other parameters involved for the delivery.

Sense of accomplishment: This is something really specific to one instance. The management always is driven by statistics cause statistic is supposed to be fact and figure. Not always. (You can't apply statistic to gauge the average depth of a river to decide whether you can cross it. Mostly you will drown your self. And may be thats why we have so many (in)famous jokes about statisticians.)
There are ground reality that statistician not project. A human mind is complex thing, pie chat and histograms can't represent it.

When taking a fierce decision of changing the technology facts beyond assumptions were never taken into consideration. The training need, the creation and substantiation of new job profile. the migration of product was planed but migration of employee psychology was not. Migration and road map for deliveries were planned but new road maps of opportunities were never discussed.
Change of technology is like changing a home. The fact "Its takes time to prepare the same delicate Biriyani flavor in a new kitchen" was neglected. NO training formal or otherwise were planned. The domain people had mastered over years was altered and represented in a different manner which looked like a generation gap. The involuntary first reaction to change that any man can give is "reluctance" and avoidance.
The people who had a reputation who had a knowledge base built over quite a period of time were not able to accept the change like nothing happened. In the battle to protect their self and public image and now the reality of being unable to cope to new changes they floundered and they floundered hard. This frustration creep in to every where. Cause it becomes a preoccupation to defend "what I was" and accepting or building "what I am". You had been a performer but you don't see yourself anymore to be. Cause what now you are in is completely new. And you dont have any time for making yourself feel home, feel comfortable.

Comparison to other lines: Not comparable. Juxtaposing facts to make something look prettier is stupidity. To show a straight line bigger you can just draw line smaller to it. All you can achieve by it is illusion.

Some is worse, thank god I am just bad. Its a sense of complacency. Which this industry discard of. Isn't it? So you cant infest that sense of being better just by arguing some one else if worse.

After all the presenter was heard mistakenly saying: "Actually this is the only thing where do really do not discriminate" (among lines). :D

The solution is:
1. get the survey conducted to capture real reasons.
2. make it clear to the people where they are heading for.
3. Everyone loves to see himself as a champion, do tell them that the did a good job and they are capable of doing even better.
4. If some once can run 10km, that never means every one can or have to. There are people who can't run yet swim for 20 km. We need to understand every one is different.
5. Give the employee space and time to settle down to freeze to his/her comfort level before saying come on get of the mark.
6. Sense of insecurity is good, even in relations to keep things healthy but sense of obscurity is never. Have things transparent.

Truly
Abinash

So you watch English movies?

I never used to watch English movies. Two reasons: Its in English and second reason I would never remember the lead in male and female, leave director or production house name.
For me English movies were either science fictions or high end action. Its not an English movie if I dont get to see a weird creature hunting the human race or flying saucer vanishing in to the eternal space or man clad with laser guns fighting. Cause dialogues I would anyway not understand. And I would never deliberate to do so either.  The protocol is keep your eyes fix on to movie, never look at any one they might ask you to explain what the hero just said (I never knew there exist some thing called sub titles). Take a cue from others to know where to laugh. If others are laughing, laugh. Just see those creatures and try to by heart few scenes to have post movie discussions and you dont feel like a moron jerk.

Now its been some 3 years I have been watching English movies (Well I mean watching in real sense not in the protocol I mentioned above). So this is a tribute to myself :D

A list of movie I liked genre wise, so that if there is any body who is starting his/her "watching movies in real sense" may not end up watching crap or watch just anything they stumble up on.

War Movie:
1. Saving private ryan
2. We were soldier
3. The bridge on the river kwai
4. Inglorious bastard
5. Hurt locker
6. 300
7. Schindler's List
8. Brave heart
9. The Pianist
10 The last of the Mohicans
11. The last samurai
12. Jar head

History:

1. Gladiator
2. Lord of the rings: the return of the king 3. Troy

This will be updated soon (m little too lazy :()

A pictorial depiction - it rained in my street

The drops poured and the earth cooled. Like the father in heaven rained love on mother earth to sooth her anguish and let her rejoice.

The drops flowed with freedom making the music to please the restless souls and they set on their embark to finally merge into the sea.

The cold drops soaked on to the skin and made many run back to their fate - dry. Like unaware of our own desire we crave to get away from being dry just to run back to it.

Protected they feel with pride
they take the firm and forward stride.

Haste moved few
no rest ever, phew!

Even I want to be drenched,
 with love a little care, relieved of my pain.

Hold my hand, cling to me, I will stay by
to protect and longing for thy.

In rain Shelter I found
Stranded by all flying unbound.

The rain made me beautiful, like crystal not rusty.

And the rain stopped the heaven and the earth relieved and rejoiced. Clean and pure like it should be.


Truly
Abinash

Hypocrisy?

Heard some one rebuking about caste based census saying its discrimination. But did we ever take a look how a million time we discriminate every day? I choose to call the critics hypocrites and I call this identification what they choose to call discrimination. Going by their definition every individual system in India is a discriminating system. Lets take the under graduate entrance exams they discriminate on the basis of percentage in PUC, The job advertisement says strictly students from premier institutes. Tell me how they are different from the temple priest who says strictly Hindus? Just that criteria for discrimination is different?
The same "intellectual" opinionative guy would not let his children go to the municipality school or team up with the kids from him backyard slum. Why? "Gali ke ladkon ke saath nahin khelna". Now ain't that a discrimination too? Discrimination on any ground may it be economy, social, educational, race, geography or history, it remains discrimination. So whats wrong to go for a caste based census when we have caste based education and employment? Its just the hypocrite inside us taking over isn't it?

Truly
Abinash

Yet another random Tag - Selfnaire as I call it. A questionnaire about self

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
The beard is looking good.

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
444


4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
PP


11. What does your watch look like?
Macho.

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Reading Infinite cosmos.

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
Your voda fone mobile bill payment of rupees 2836/- is due.

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
Hello, Theek, Nikal denge, hojaega yaar.

15. Who told you he/she loved you last? (please exclude spouse , family, children)
Pari

16. Last furry thing you touched?
Teddy bear around my seat.

17. Favorite age you have been so far?
My primary school days. I was a star of my school.

18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Nikal denge yaar ye log.

19. The last song you listened to?
UP wala thumka lagaun main hero jaise naach ke dikhaun....

20. Where did you live in 1987?
Balangir

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Yes

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
No idea.

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
my mobile, my hologram of being brahmin - Janev

24. What’s your favorite city?
Hyderabad, Bhubaneswar

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
1 year back to Captn sambit Das

26. Can you change the oil on a car?
No

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
She is not having a good married life.

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Back pain. :(

29. What is your current desktop picture?
A dog.

Surviving with "Chhiyalis rupaye" - Survival techniques

Ever wondered how to survive in Bangalore (with a bike to maintain and a 2BHK flat to maintain and a foodie inside you to maintain) for One whole week with just 46 rupees? I did. and frankly I am proud to share my survival techniques which range from Social engineering to brazening out of situations.

Day 1:
You wake up at 8 its Saturday and need to brush and have breakfast.
So don't wake up at 8, ensure that the previous night you played video games, watched downloaded movies, read some boring books and managed to sleep only after 4 A.M.
Now with the previous day schedule you must wake up post noon the following day. Being a Saturday follow the same for today. You at least can bypass the breakfast.
check the fuel level in the bike (I had 2 liters left approximately, and roughly that can take me around for 80km). Do not brush when you wake up (It makes you hungry). Check the amount of rice and daal you have. No vegetables makes no difference as having daal and rice itself makes you a lucky chap. Prepare rice and daal with precision as in only as much as you eat. Get yourself some achaar and put a nice hard tadka on the daal.
Have a good meal around 4 P.M. Walk down to nearest mall call up a few friends. Fortunately I have a postpaid connection :)
Buy an egg for Rs 3/- and then mix up the egg in the daal to make it (delicious) egg tadka and have it in dinner. Repeat step one.

Day 2: Money left 43/-

Repeat the activity of day one till dinner. and the dinner can be made as egg noodle. It will cost you 10/- + 3 /- = 13 rupees. Sleep early.

Day 3: Money left 30/-
Wake up early have a good bath and press your cloth yourself to save those precious 5 rupees.
Get to office dont take and idly or dosa in brekfast. Take two large bananas. (3 rupees each) have cofee at office and gear up your sense of humor. Plan a prank and convince other to force some one in the office for a lunch treat (mayb be just a south Indian thali still a paid meal). Have a stomach full one. On the way back to home grab a pack of good day for yourself from office. Prepare rice daal and have with achaar.

Day 4: Money left 24/-
Repeat the day 3 activity except for having a paid meal. Go to a regular restaurant whre you eat mostly
eat a good meal and say Ohh I ahve forgot the wallet. Will pay to tomorrow. Being old valued customer the restaurant guy wont mind it. For dinner have egg noodles (13/-)

Day 5: Money left 11/-
Repeat the day 3 activity and get a paid lunch from a friend. have biscuit and tea for dinner.

Day 6: Money left 11/-
See if some Bday or anniversary is on in office. Grab yourself a few good chunk of cake and chocolates. Have it for dinner. Lunch anyway they will treat.

Day 7: Consume all the 11 rupees and try a trick from step 1 to 6.

And thats how you survive a week (last week of the month) till you get the salary. :)

Invisible hope

Why have you been so kind
held my hand and let me shine

standing by my side ever
letting me fall just never

Bigot I was, an ignorant loner
you made me live, a smiler from groaner

Stay by me, hold me tight
I am doomed, let your love make it bright.

Death no stop, life no end
not a moment leave me at this treacherous bend.

Truly
Abinash

N.B. - Somewhere I don't remember the line (Why have you been so kind) I read and then went on to write this poem. I have kept that line thats why cause that line became the igniter.
Thanks to that unknown source which I remember no more for helping me with the first line.

Are we Random? or an established pattern?

Just a random thought occurred to me like always and I spent some time brooding over it. Here is the perception or the delusion I have come out with.

It started with one question: What do you feel, how random life is? Or its predefined and patterned?

Well after reading few spiritual literature and some ancient scriptures, I leaned the world is not a random creation, its a definite work of God where nothing can actually be random. Ever event is predefined. And the God manifests himself in every being. So The manifestation of God exists as widely in the whole universe as a single entity as in a human being. So I can conclude human being is a reflection of the universe in itself. It reminds me of the Fractal
programs I wrote in college. The smallest building element is nothing but an exact manifestation of the whole body. So the birth of the universe with big bang can be compared to the birth of a child. As soon as the child is born the whole system turns more chaotic.
The man since birth will tend to be in equilibrium by nature but it will only lead to increase in entropy. Being an isolated system in itself there is no way the randomness in it will can decrease following the second law of thermodynamics.

Now can we take a look at what they call as Maya and to find out the answer to the question we started with?

Maya is supposed to be the illusion we live in, including the sense that we have a life and we have senses and we live till death. Where we assume death is the end and birth as beginning. I would say Maya is nothing but yeah a set of illusion or predictions. We live at the present. But we expect and build the future thats the next immediate moment of the present and hence on. I believe there a proportion of certainty and uncertainty associated with prediction or expectation we make. Like we see what we want to see, we believe what we want to believe with the limit of our knowledge and power to perceive. So when we take a step forward we assume or expect or predict it to be placed at a particular position in the next immediate moment. But Future is unpredictable. And hence the expectation we set has a degree of uncertainty associated with it. There is no 100% guarantee that the out come of the event will be exactly same as predicted. Hence all we do at any present moment is with respect to the current event predict a future moment which actually is as uncertain as certain. Thats probability of occurance would be 0.5. So we are doing nothing but in reality live in illusion. When the expectation fails we call it misfortune. And when mate its fortune. But in reality the unbiased probability of fortune or misfortune is exactly the same. Hence may be thats how the Saints live as they know this mathematical truth and choose to be rather indifferent. But a slightly closer thinking at it will tell us that its not as simple a process as I have described it till now. There is a degree of bias on the future by the present event. Say like if I know I am going to appear for an exam, and I have put in effort so the probability of being fortunate will increase. And hence the probability of misfortune will decrease. Hang on... with it can we say that we can actually have control over the future by means of the choice we make at the present? Well may be yes. Thats what they may call the law of karma. Your Karma decides the future. Its the choice we make for the present event thats leads us to a more chaotic state or increase in entropy. That decision precisely decides or controls the outcome we may have in the immediate next moment. Either increasing or decreasing the number of choices or state we may leap to from there. That means the degree to which we can be fortunate or mis-fortunate can be predicted or decided at present. It implies, with a closely calculated decision we can actually make ourselves luckier over time, as I told above luck is nothing but meeting the expectation we set for a future time. So one can work out to live long enough to see himself getting luckier close to absolute one as to it happens exactly what he predicts or expects. May be thats what is the miracles we see.

So to sum it up: Life is a random event with many possible out come of any event occurring now and leading to the occurance of another like a chain reaction. And yes we do live in Maya as we just keep predicting the expected outcome for the immediate next moment which actually is equally improbable as probable. But as said the future is in our hand.

...... To be continued.

Truly
Abinash

Some random TAG

The blog I picked this tag from claims exactly this: "the questions are so framed to make you feel good about yourself :) Try it if you don't believe me!". So let me try and find out I can believe her or not: (## means I am skipping the question)

1. What is your current obsession?
Computer games, books, the new T-shirt I bought today.

2. What are you wearing today?
A customized(self designed) Pathani kurta a pair of denim jeans and a pair slippers.
3. What’s for dinner?
Nothing.

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Movie tickets.

5. What are you listening to right now?
The patterned noise created by my ceiling fan.

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
No one tagged me but I took it myself. But the one I took it from I don,t know anything else except her name and her online addresses. And yeah that she is from my state Orissa.

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
New york city, then sell it off and build a farmhouse at my native place and keep the remaining money to spend my rest of life wasting at least to earn money for survival.

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
##

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Himalayas.

10. Which language do you want to learn?
Urdu.

11. What’s your favourite quote?
"Even this will pass"

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
##

13. What is your favourite colour?
Orange.

14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
##

15. What is your dream job?
adventurer

16. What’s your favorite magazine?
##

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Buy books, eat out and pay my mobile bill.

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
##

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
## I hate all.

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
##

21. What are you going to do after this?
Complete my article on chaos and randomization.

22. What are your favourite movies?
Many

23. What inspires you?
The fact that nothing remains and we are mortals.

24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
Abinash

25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
Tea.

26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Write or take a fast drive on bike.

27. What makes you go wild?
I am born wild.

28. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
Many. ##)

29. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Rabdi.

30. How many tabs are turned on in ur browser right now?
12

31. Favorite Season?
Winter.

32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Maggi.

33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Just laugh them out and try to help them.

34. What are you afraid of the most?
Snake, and the paranoia that my friend or family might get hurt.

35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Ah, I am looking good. :)

36. What brings a smile on your face instantly?
##


Thats it

Truly
Abinash

Akela

Dard ko aansu na mili
Manzeel ko raah na mila,
Disha heen parinde ki tarah
bhatakta raha zindagi ka kafeela

Jishm ko rooh na mili
Honthon ko lafz na mila
Behisaab bas badhta gaya
manzeel se mushafir ka faslaa

Aankhon ko khwaab na mile
Khwaabon ko pankh na mila
bas chal pada saath liye
dard, dawa, bechaeni, sukoon akela.

P.S. English script is chosen cause many can understand yet can not read Hindi.

Truly
Abinash

main....

ek sunehra khwab hoon main
kisi khoobsurat baag ka
mehekta gulaab hoon main

kisike dard ki dawa, kisika sabaab,
to kisika saraab hoon main
har lamha har pal behisab hoon main

ek diya, jo khud jal roshan kare har aangan
kisika cheerag hoon main
kisi samma ki aag, kisika noore betaab hoon main

Kisi bechaen dil ka sukoon, kisi tanha ka
saath, kisi ka armaan hoon main.

Waise to bahut naam hain..
kisiki dua, kisiki awaz, kisika wojood hoon main.

Ek hasin lomhon ki daastan, kisiki zindagi hoon main.
ishq, mohabbat, mehfeel, bas nayab hoon main.


P.S. Its in English script as many readers might not be able to read hindi yet understand it.

Rawa-Curd Pakoda - A good evening snack

Well to start with make sure its a good evening and you are hungry.
Then follow the following procedures and taste the difference :)



The ingradients:
1. 250 gm Suji
2. 300 gm Dahee
3. 1 inch long ginger
4. 2 medium size onions
5. oil 200 ml
6. green chilly
7. salt as per taste
8. Coriander leaf

Mix the Suji with curd and leave for 5 minutes
Then put the chopped onions, green chilly, chopped ginger, coriander leaves and salt and mix it well, heat oil in a pan and deep fry the mix in small portions.
Fry in medium-low flame till it gets brown.
Be sure you don't fry is too deep that it tastes bitter.

That it garnish it with few fried chillies and you are done.

Chicken chilly - Chef Abinash

Well to start with, the prerequisite is to be hungry and patient.



Now the not so delicate way of preparing the delicacy:

Ingredients:
1. 1/2 Kg chicken boneless
2. 3 tsp cornflour
3. 2 tsp maida
4. 200 m.l. refined oil
5. 1 egg
6. 2 tsp Soya saus
7. 2 tsp tomato saus
8. 2 big onions
9. 6-7 cloves of garlic
10. 1 inch long ginger
11. spring onion 2
12. chilly powder and green chilly
13. salt to taste
14. Lemon half piece

Phase 1:
Marinate the cleaned chicken in a mix of salt, Haldi, chilly powder and 1 spoon of lemon juice for 1 hour.
Prepare a mix of the courflour, maida, 1 tsp oil, salt, egg and chilly powder.

Phase 2:
Put the marinated chicken in the mix and leave for 15 mins.
Heat oil in a pan to deep fry the chicken.
Put a separate open flat pan and fry the onion, ginger, garlic in it.
First put the garlic, then ginger, then onion and then the green chilly to it.
Stir them till they are well fried.
put some tomato saus and soya saus adn pepper in it.
Put the fried chicken in it add salt and then the spring onions. Thats it.
server hot to yourself. :)

Bon south - A review

Well I had a chance to taste the Bon south's cuisine and here comes the review direct from my heart and tongue.

If you Don't have patience to read whats below here is the summary:

--> Food variety minimal, preparation is average, price is high, ambiance is really good, some abstruse beverages they have which are pathetic. Over all it does not make up a great lunch.

Detailed review:

Once you are in there you have two options: to choose the buffet priced at Rs 295/- + Taxes or à la carte which is really over priced.

We opted buffet with anticipation. The table was well arranged, just that the food to follow was not par with it. It started with Soups (Chicken sorba and/or tomato rasam). Well chicken thing was bad and rasam was good.

They brought some masala vada of size too small to be called vada so they named it otherwise. And chicken pepper dry. Which was little to dry and left all the scope of garnishing unutilized. Anyway the service was really poor, cause at any point of time you take a look on the table you find the water glasses empty, starter places vacant and no chutney or sauce to go with the starter.



Well hopeful about the main course we leaped to grab the bigger plate but terribly disappointed not to find anything worth filling it. Biriyani was too naively prepared, mutton was not fresh, chicken curry was floating on a curry which apparently had nothing but artificial color in it. The raita was good. So we had plane rice, raita and some daal fry. They had some veg curry which had no vegetables in it anyway.

Feeling taken in by the showed off arts, well arranged tables and a warm welcome we food the food rather cold. Heading for the dessert section which seemed really deserted actually we found nothing but vanila ice cream and a south indian preparation of moong daal, the daal was a good different taste and vanila ice cream tasted as usual.

So over all the service was slow and you feel unattended.
Food gave no further addition to different culinary experience and rather a turn off.
And final verdict would be a no.

Truly
Abinash

Mutton Rogan Josh - (Chef Abinash)

Well, To start with This is a quick guide for the first timers like me, to confidently prepare a mutton delicacy of their own way and proudly name it the famous mutton Rogan josh, :) But certainly it taste good. I cooked for the first time. :)
Here goes the brilliant recipe:




Ingredients:

1. Fresh mutton 1/2 Kg
2. Onions 4 (the big ones)
3. Garlic 3 (some 30 cloves)
4. Ginger 3-4 (one inch length each)
5. Black pepper (one ts)
6. Dhania powder (1 ts)
7. Jeera powder (1 ts)
8. Yogurt (dahee) 1 cup
9. Hari mirch (2)
10. Red dry mirch (3)
11. Mustard oil (170ml)
12. Salt add to taste
13. Sugar 1 ts

Get started:
First be ready to have patience for next 1 hour.
Put the yogurt, garlic, ginger and green chilly paste on the meat and mix well.
Leave it to marinate for 1 hour.
Prepare the paste of Onions, Garlic, Ginger, red chilly, Dhania powder, jeera powder and a one inch long Cinnamon. Grind it well with some water.
Now put the pressure cooker on the stove at medium flame and put the oil in it.
When the oil is hot put 1ts sugar and wait til its brown, put 1 ts turmeric (haldi).
Now its time to put some real effort. Put the whole masala (mix prepared after grinding) to the oil and keep stiring till it becomes brown and sticky.
put the marinated meat to it and stir for a while with open pan. Let the water be out of the meat in the pan. Cover the pressure cooker and leave for 5-6 whistles.
Open the cooker and add meat masala to taste and stir. Add cardamom powder and stir it.
Serve hot....



Mansa Jhola:
Now to prepare Balangiria mansa Jhola, follow the instructions as above
then add 2 cups of hot water to it and stir well. put a boiled potato and some dhania powder. Stir well and heat till the curry starts boiling. Its done. And it tastes better than anything.

How to eat:
Don't go for flavoured rice, just plane white rice, green vegetable salad or raita, and the mansa jhola, NO DAAL at all. This will make you a great meal. :) Enjoy your meal.

Adhure se hum adhure se tum

kabhi fursat jo mile to chali ana mere paas tum
hain hazaron khwahisain baki, adhure se hum, adhure se tum

Kabhi ho izazat to khwabon main ajana akele
saath chalenge falak tak, jahan dharti aur asmaan mile

nazraano ka asiyana hoga, aur chahnewalon ka mela
ek sisak si uthti hai, main khona jaon, rehna jaon akela

ek chah, ek gujarish, ek peymaana liye khade hain
ke beinteehah karte hain mohabbat tumhise har lamha jude hain

bhool na jana ek pal bhi is shaksh ko ek shaksh samajh kar
mehfil ki ronak main na bhulana hume bemehfil samajhkar

jashn to humbhi manate, khoob surat mehfil hum bhi sajate
kher khuch lamhe intezaar ke aur sahee, kaas humbhi chahiton main shamil ho pate!

Truly
Abinash

And..

And with this the desperate seek of comfort is erased. The ennui remains and the despair or desire to migrate to a different land, a different mass. To have a different origin becomes too hard to bear. The hope in one dimension dies out giving birth to an all new hope in different dimension. It becomes hard to discern, what’s right and what’s wrong. All that remains is the quite desperation to run, fly and escape. To be in a different landscape, to be in a different world. It hurts in here. Its like the never ending winter at times, with hope of spring in mind. Its like the summer that overcasts the rain.

P.S. Some time I wonder why do I start a sentence, more a paragraph, more an article itself with the phrase “AND”. Don’t know something compels. May be it manages to hide the origin of the feeling which drives you to write such kind of abstruse stuffs.
A Smile :)

Truly
Abinash

It hurts

Its not new. At all. Its painful instead.The sense of being cornered,the feel of being ignored. The desire to be closer. All are painful. Equally. Something wrong happens every time. And I come to realize the space and gravity I hold. I hold a space like air. Expected to be squeezed in to a small balloon and expected to be leaked too. Expected to be ever expanding and at times and expected to be like air, inert to all these. So color, no taste.Just stay inert. And then it come in like the air trying to going out of the boundary of the balloon. But It remains to regain its space,when the balloon bursts. It waits.Like I do, with hope.

Truly
Abinash

Goa - The see experience of the sea (personal account)

Standing on the porch of the land, the beach the sight holds the infinity. The bubbly waves run into you foaming around the feet and embrace you with the welcome hug. The smell of the blue that the wind brings and moist you lips is enriching. The feet move deep into the water gripping the sand beneath and fingers snuggled. A smile runs through the face and arms stretch wide open to have the juvenile desire to hold the whole sea, the whole horizon. As you move you feel the chill of water and warmth of feeling that it brings. The mild music, the hearty laughs, the sound of wave, the dancing beauties magnify the whole sight into a scenery. The whole beach is a world in itself. Lively, enchanting and engrossing.



Off the beach lies the small huts decorated with lights, flowers and the handicrafts to create the genuine sense of being in Goa. Lovely couples walking hands in hand, energetic elders living their youth again, and the local residents running to earn a business make the crowd off and on the beach. The idly and chatni on the banana leaf makes the breakfast more delicious. The smell of fish curry and the menu of seafood brings the foody even in the fitness maniacs. The speeding bikes, the white skinned bare bodied mass, the hippie stylish women make you a sight of youthfulness. Smiling you move on to the road to explore the beaut of sea, the country sight embodied in the catholic styled houses holds your eyes.



Long way down the sea are the water freaks taking up sports. Gliding above the blue line, diving into the depth, conquering the waves. The days see it all. The wave becoming tide. The dry becoming wet. The rise going down. The boats returning soar. The beach becoming a party. The day becoming night. The darkness becoming enlightened. The silent wind becoming musical. The day sees it all. The sea prepares to welcome a new day. Goa lives in every drop of the sea and the sea lives in Goa.

Random thoughts - Again

Well I was wondering what all things you see here around us and find to your utter surprise, they are socially, personally entertained. Not a question asked and taken for granted..

1. Staring at people
2. Riding bike on the pavement
3. Bad garlic breath with an aroma of onion
4. Ogling at "Female" (any age, any shape, any race.... includes bitches :P)
5. Running behind the time, thats an official governmental attitude now pursued by every citizen of the republic
6. Being an IT professional
7. Being a politician
8. Spitting just any where (including inside theaters, public transport - thats why its public, government office's walls, on a bald head, over a Mercedes) it adds to bio degenereable content to environment you know.
9. Pissing - any where again... on walls, on animals, in the public gathering, in front of girl's hostel, inside college class rooms, just any place you think of even it adds to the biospheric fuel.
10. Blame anyone you find dead or alive, mass or indivisual, for anything that entertains you.

If you find some one doing all the above welcome to the community, its an Indian.

Truly
Abinash

The loner

Abandoned, silently it lied there. Moist on the ground. It had someone's company. Sometime, some where. It had the sense of belonging. The beauty of decoration and the fragrance of admiration. It had all, in it. But its felt aside, it has lived its stint. Left over on the ground, no beauty it looks anymore, no fragrance it dispels in the coll air that touches it. It just lies there waiting. Waiting in the hope that the air will bring it its company, its beauty back. The air will take away the loner with it. And it will rejoice again, now in hope and then in possession. Possession of the one who left. It alone, uncared.

Truly
Abinash

Being an unknown

Some people don't understand many things. And leave you alone when you need them the most. Like you are an unknown. A man with out a face amongst the million there. Just an unknown.

Truly
Abinash

Winter of love

Winter is special. Like love. You love it. You want it to last for ever. You want to snug to your beloved. You want to feel warm. The whole world seems clean, air chill, sky blue and touch sensational. You want to feel the breath, hold the hands tight. Winter makes the chicks pink, like you blush in love. winter makes you stay back in bed few more hours, like you wake up late after a love filled night. Winter is lovely, like love.

A good morning

On the porch of Monday, passes the week. A laziness borrowed over from the weekend I start the week. Hoping to see the eyes, the smile that has grown indifferent to me. The day spent mostly brooding over the monotonous office work, same dirty desk, filthy code. They add up to the pain of the moment. Then I see the face smiling, slowing and blushing. At me. The day fades. Fades the smile, glow and the blush. The dusk comes in quite swiftly. Brings in the sense of a lost day. The same indifference is re-uttered. Refusal, the hands move. Initially close then away. The chill air blowing with the running wheels of the bike. make you feel cold. No warm. Just cold. The words hurt. The actions hurt. The day hurts. And I hate the day. It passes away with flying time. Comes in the night. And a smile. My smile is like a panacea. The day is erased. My mind is skilled in it. Forgetting. It helps. The night brings in another smile. Of the motion of the hands from away to closer. to hold up. To cling together. Night brings dream. Dream brings the hands closer. And starts a good morning. From away to closer. A real good morning.

Truly
Abinash

Lets make it

Intentions. Perceptions. Decisions. They all occur like they are eternally linked. Maintaining their camaraderie. Intentions how ever remain obscure, assumed and silent. Perceptions remain wrongly articulated, mostly misunderstood or un-understood. And decisions timely mistaken, untimely regretted and perfectly spontaneous.
At the spur of the moment, the overwhelming emotions, uncontrolled motion of thoughts, misplaced facts and the assumed wrong assumptions. They do the killing. Killing of happiness, peace and the need. What is truly desired is always hidden. Ego drives the motion then, taking over love, care, wishes, dreams. Human are designed err. To err and name it life. To live and name it fate. To mistake and name it experience.

It takes a small decision drifted away by the ego to destroy it. But it takes a thousand small dreams, a million small desires and one strong will to construct it to live it. And name it life. In the shape and form it deserves to be. Happy. Decorated. Beautiful. Lets make it.

Truly
Abinash

The moment

This place never felt better. We change moods, we toggle teams, technology and priorities. We take leaps, we run to embrace what we call success. But success is never ending for it soon becomes a trend of life when the we clinging together with unfathomable commitment to live up to ourselves, take the united stride.
Then the jittery final moments come to confront you with the drain you out of you courage. But this is just the sign that we are just very close to it, the goal. All it takes is a faith in self and each other and a little will-full will. It passes and the moment suddenly becomes ecstatic, full of energy to be retold over and over again.. of the glory. And we realize: we have achieved. The feel is pure and firm. Just a will against odds and it remains, as history as a mark over time. To be adored.
This is what we all have achieved, as a team, as a united bunch of willful souls.
Thanks to every one.

Truly
Abinash

At the moment

I am contented in the moment. The moment of now. I overreach unvoluntarily. A strong sense of happiness flows in me. And I smile. I smile at how I possessed her in the moment, how she belonged to me. For ever. And then she wakes me up to the reality with her musical alphabets waiting to be answered back. You dont listen to me, she would protest. And I search for her in her eyes. I a everything she assures. I believe.
And suddenly the I find myself missing. Missing in her world. Like a old furniture kept aside in the newly painted house. I find a piece of myself which no more gets the sense of possessing her. She has a life, and its a definition with people other than me. I am a hidden definition. I am unauthorized. She has a routine to happiness, the routine bypasses me. I feel. But I know this feeling is false, false for I know her and I know the truthfulness she has for me. And I exist some where inside her. I know. Always, every moment. She knows. The routine ends and I get a place in the definition again. And the old furniture is placed in the center of the painted house, again. To be admired and adored.

A lust, a beast a night!

The curtains down, lights dimmed, luxury classy furnitures all around and a chill air blowing out of the air conditioners they set the plot. The daunting smell of spirit, the marooned crowd with lust brimming out of their eyes blinding them of anything but lust, raw lust. The frustration oozing out of their faces filled empty pours of the hall. The red-blue-stinking-with-spirit hall.
The almost nude fair bodyies moved in the loud noise, the dark music. They moved to the satisfy the lusty eyes transfixed at them. They moved up and down, round and round to meet the frustration, to gulp it down their bared dangling flesh. Stains of sins engraved into them, on to the skins. Their eyes filled with again lust, lust for money. The lust of flesh and the lust of money enriched the whole moment, little too prolonged to bear. The bargains for night began, the bodies are owned momentarily by the paying beast. And they, the fair dangling fleshes submitted there flesh, soul to the beasts. All that began with spirit, smoke, light, money, lust and a dark beast will end. Will end in some hours.
All this will end in a gloomy room left with untidy bed sheets, wiped out stains of semen, a dark smell of alcohol and smoke, a abandoned used glass left with little wine, a mark of cosmetics and a set of lost soul. A lust of flesh satisfied by a lust for money. No love, no desire, no existence. Just a set of sins committed over long lost guilts. The whole plot is set again, the whole scene taking place exactly the same way over again the next day, with the rise of the moon.

Lets count it right, lets live!

Life is a set of moments, like a video. Each momemt logically clinging to each other. And we count them to judge our own life. We measure can measure our life in two ways: with number of un answered calls, mails and messages or with the number of calls, mails and messages we got. The first one hurts, lets you down and kills your happiness. The secon one joys, puts you up and gives reasons to be happy. The first one actually are the people who never cared, and never made any difference. The second one is of the people who care and who want to make a difference. The counts never end. Life does. Who remember and forget in the same sequesnce. We remember each unanswered mail, call and ,message. We forget each mail, call, message we receive. We err, we are human. we find so inner thrust for sad moments. We remember the tears and forget the smile. We live a wrong life. We die a right death. An unhappy death. We must count the other way. LIve a happy life and die an inifferent death. Don't measure your life by the number of people you missed, measure by the number you ahve gained. Be happy.

Feel a refugee days are back

I hate a few things. Saturday and Sunday top the list.
The feel a refugee days are back. :(

Life of boredom

Personal life, Private life, public life, Professional life
Life with family, life with friends, life with the loved ones, life with enemies
and there is one more, life of boredom. When you get time from all other life, and feel bored. There exist few people there in your life of boredom.

I want you....

.. is what I say. It comes all over to me when you are not with me. Even for a moment. I feel abandoned. The body feels dilapidated. No strength I could find. Anywhere. I just feel the pain of a sharp cut. I want you is what I say. And find how wrong I am. How significantly wrong I am. I don't want you.
I need you. I need each moment to hold on to you. I need you to live the moment you are away. I need you to rejoice, to hope, to create, to admire, to love. I need you to live.
I dont want you. I need you.

And we move on - Clinging to each other

It was not new. The day, the time, the people around, the lights, the chill air and the rain. Nothing was new. But we move on. Finding the new heights of love, new depths of warmth, new surprises of the moments. 'I love rain' she tells often. And it rains often, when we are together. In the moon lit evening, the sky speaks to us, making the moon light just dim enough with the clouds, hiding the stars, making the wind smooth and cold, pouring the water to make the moment just lovelier and romantic. The black pitch roads are deserted just the water flows and we move clinging to each other. The whole world is ignored, the whole sense of being in the middle of the city is forgotten and we just move on. Clinging to each other. The drops running down the cheeks melt on the lips. She comes closer holding me tight, with her hands resting on the chest, with a almost silent whisper the words are delivered 'I love you'. With the deserving delicacy. Ecstatic I smile, live the moment and admire the precision. The precision of everything at that moment. And we move on. Clinging to each other.

Indifference Hurts

It cuts sharp and it hurts. It hurts right where it hurts the most.
An indifferent disposition, a lax attitude shown deliberately, I believe. Just to show you worth nothing. You just worth nothing. It wont even take a moment to forget you because you have never been remembered. The depreciating love. The wearing out memories. The not so long company. The few good moments. Its not new. Its been there since long, I always ignored it. Now it doe snot ignore me. It catches me right at my eyes. And I just ask one question. Why?

Truly
Abinash

A morning of love

The morning comes little too early for me than the rest I know. I wake up to a dream by the first sunshine. The golden soft and warm sun light falls into my eyes as soon as it rises. I become still. Motionless in literal sense. My brain does not run forth with time anymore, ear numb, and eyes closed and transfixed to the most beautiful thing. Her face. I just cant't take my thought off her. I remain sedate with the thoughts and the magical imagery of hers. A silent node of euphoria plays some where. And completely lost and overwhelmed I smile. I get up just to realize what I imagine in reality. Its my reality now.

Truly
Abinash

10 reasons why an Indian metropolitan does not vote

Well people does not turn up as expected to vote in the Indian metropolis. Nothing strange. Now I got the reasons after a logical deduction on the statistical data in a demographic perspective with a meticulous precision. :p

1. Eh! election? But Obama has already won, ain't he?
2. Ahh you cant vote over Internet or SMS. we need e-election.
3. They still take black and white pictures on the voter's id card. So I don't have one.
4. the vote mark on the nail looks nasty.
5. Voting centers don't have air conditioning facilities.
6. You see they must think of valet parking facility.
7. The party symbols ain't that catchy. The need to innovate and get some more flashy symbols.
8. It was a holiday! Now it takes some real motivation to get over the hag over and get out of the cozy blanket.
9. I was alone can't leave my "Tiger" home alone. They should allow dogs to voting centers.
10. I ran out of my sunscreen the day before. (malls are closed on voting day. Their fault)

The modernised sexual frustration

Man has always been striving to satisfy his sexual aggression by any means and many means. Bisexuality, homo sexuality, some people indulge in imaginative sex. But lately I have come across a different species of man, and to my surprise he majority belong to this class. They tend to have an inclination for verbal sex, with just anyone for that matter. Passing obscene comments, and "on-a-lighter-note" statements when they use dual meaning words. And then shamelessly brag it. The senseless stupidity is flaunted as wit full intellectual ability. I pity them. In my office I have seen people doing so with an appended statement of "don't-take-it-otherwise". On chat exploiting the limitation of English script to spell out regional words say hindi words which actually carries a vulgar meaning. And they like it. And both the genders. The guys mostly take the lead in doing so and the girls take the pride in approving it. All
"in-a-lighter-note-you-know". But some where with in they are approving their sexual frustration with it. Knowing or unknowingly. Its not new. Its subtle existence
is apparent in the old literature and cinema too. It has now become a cult. A sign of metro sexuality. But the modernity has reinvented this retro approach. In work place,
glass builds, chilled aired chambers, when these sex starving frustrated heads assemble. They indulge in this witful verbal sex. And few who choose to withdraw from
it just become silent onlooker and reproach in recluse. And take out frustration as criticism or judgment by writing such blogs.

Truly
Abinash

Hope the fight

I had never been weak ever before. Mentally. May be because I never longed for something with such a desperation or strong desire. I don't even now for anything else but that one thing. I know I have been effusively emotional. And I have discarded any rationality that could have attached to it, ruthlessly.
But I ma only weak now. A strange sense of insecurity flows in me.
But I am not like that, I am told. And my hope that I still cling to fights back the darkness of this fret and insecurity. My hope wins. Just because I want it to win. I smile. And the fight starts all over. Its been a part of my life. I want it to end. End fast and end happily. May hope prevails and may hope wins ever.

Truly
Abinash

The mall crowd

Shiney, flashy faces
with dangling, fleshy asses

They flaunt the tag of brand
tight jeans, exposed cleavage meet the demand

dull, dead eyes
racing to grave with silent cries

They flaunt the lies of life
recluse, on deeds they just remorse, they grief.

This is written on the context of the shiny-car-driving, kala chasma clad we-the-rich-with-extra-pounds-to-show people roaming in the glass malls.

Truly
Abinash

A love story

Well its been quite long since I had written any fiction. Particularly fiction about love. You can say a love story. The last time I tried was some almost 2 years back and it had two parts and yet incomplete and then I never found any motivation to complete it. Nevertheless I want to write one again. Afresh and inspired. Fiction yet inspired. Hopefully I will complete it this time. :)

*-------------*--------------¯`•._.•{Love Story}•._.•´--------------*------------*






Dark it was when I opened my eyes. I don't know what woke me up. In a blink I was conscious out of deep sleep. Unvoluntarily my hand grabbed the mobile lying by. It read 4:24 a.m. Scrolling up in the message inbox I could give the most blissful smile possible. Everything in a predefined sequence. In a delicate manner. I just take a look on my palms joined together. Trying to figure out how accurate is the curvature that my heart lines cast when joined together. Some one had told the more they are curve the more possible it is to get your dream partner. Everytime I wake up in bed I do it. Everytime. And in the memory-lane it suddenly came upon me, just like that. I was driftted to the day, the day which still wakes me up. Puts the smile and makes me joint my palms in anticipation....
(A magical day, 2008, Bangalore)- Hurriedly I looked back at her. The same face with the same smile I would dream of, to love to and to be loved by. I could not resist the desire to keep the gaze on. The next moment I remember over the coffee table, I asked her "do you believe in love at first sight?" "No" She snapped. I smiled and said then you must be believing in love at third sight, I do. She smiled, silently. "Its your third sight for me". She smiled with eyes, biting the pink lips, blushing and looking down. The moment spoke it all. The moment of love. The "yes" reverberated with out being spoken. Yes she loved me too. Then each glance of her ever, was as magical as it was then. Everyday the love grew older by age, it grew younger by the intensity. As fresh as a blooming lotus, as warm as the first sunlight of winter. I slowly hold her hand in mine. The hands trembling, the lips open, the eyes in the eyes. We lived the moment. A sudden sense of belongingness, and a sudden sense of pride took over. Us. The sight became hazy in slow motion. The image became blur to blurer. The eyes had their share of it. They are empty nomore. Filled with the drops of joy, two small sparkling drops. In hers and in mine. The moment then came on to be the most exquisitely designed. Filled with bliss, surprize, happiness, warmth and just magic.
All the imagery run thru my eyes, as I lay on the bed, in the dark, remembering each moment of it. Living each second of it. May be this is the only way you can re-live the past. But its not my past. Its my present too and will be the future also. How does it feel to live the whole life in one single day? I ask myself. And I answer back. "Its awesome". When you deliberately stop the motor of life to keep harmonising in the same lovely moments that you define for it. I have been living it each moment since then.

"Again?" She woke up saying beside me. I smiled, as she came closer to my face to have a look like everyday. I smiled, took her hand in mine, and kept the gaze on just into her eyes. "Will you share the smile with me for the rest of our life? Will you be my bride every day till we breath? Will you let my love admire you till my heart beats and my mind can think?" .... She smiled. Again. I loved it. Not again, I never stopped loving it ever. "Yes, I will. I will with all the love, commitment and sweetness of this world, will be your bride for ever." the joyous beautiful lip moved to make these magical sound in the little air between her and me.
My arms around her, my head resting on her chest, she made me sleep, and we slept embraced with the shield of love.
It never felt I am old now. It never ever felt so. My eyesight has gone weaker, but I can still see her in the dark, my ear don not allow me to over hear anything anymore. Still I can listen her voice in every moment. I am old now. But I can feel her in me. And she says she is too old to blush. But she does when she sees me.
(One more magical day, 2048) "You slept?" "Ohh sweetu let me take you on my lap, I promised you I will never put you down, its my lap that can carry just one thing over hundred pound now, and thats you." Every day we come to this park, me and my love. Its been more than 30years we are married now. And each morning I wake up and see too. and we live the same moments. Its not life we have spent together for last 30 years now. Its magic. Each morning has been same for us I wake up dreaming of her and she makes me sleep in her lap. Its a saga of love. May be this is what they call love.
And this is what we call life.

P.S: Its fiction, but a dream. Its a story but an inspired reality.

* the header design is taken from a fellow blogger friend Raji's name style :)

Truly
Abinash

Thodi der

Thodi der. How long could thodi der be? One hour? two hour? may be a whole day; eh? But its been infinite at time. A thodi der that never comes ever. The clocks show the exact same time twice, thrice, and several times more but the thodi der never turns up. And you can't do anything about it. You dont master time, you dont master the promiser. You do master yourself and and do just that. Anticipations die out. a false assurance creeps in. A assurance which seems just timely false. You know it now and you knew it then too. But you srive yourself to believe that assurance. It gives pleasure. Its what you want.
And the time dies out.

Truly
Abinash

Hope

Hope is a strange thing. It makes you smile in adversity. It makes you look up when you fall in to an abyss. And give strength when life turns back at you. But I am in none of these kind of times. So I find a new aspect to it. It keep you happy when happy days are around. Its not the good time but the hope in it that makes us feel so good. So happy. And it does not take bad times to learn the strength of hope. Good times teach you more of it. I never want to loose hope. It keeps me happy. It gets me going. And it will till I die. Thanks for making me aware of this hope. :)

Lets hope, lets be happy.

Truly
Abinash

Lonely I feel happy

Lonely evenings sips in as the over accompanied days die out. Seclude, I take refuse in the well lit, room. Finding myself comfortable on the edge of the bean bag, just with a stare at a point. The scent is spread in the room. The zincs, dazzling here and there. The creases in the sheet, the coffee mug with standing exactly at the same place. The dust coat on the TV screen ornamented with her name. The place has just been decorated with beauty. The beauty which is absolute for me. Sill they seem to others. The sound of breathes resonating the air, the movements still reflecting everywhere. The smiles I feel inside me. The magical eyes looking directly into mine. The mystic sound of the voice. And the beautiful bright face. They just fit in to create magic, absolute magic.

Lonely I feel happy.

Truly
Abinash