An immortal woman

She has been a working woman. Working ever since I know her, day in day out. And she is happy. She hides her sorrow behind smiles, behind the warmth she springs. Complains she never had, demands she never made. Ready to compromise her comfort, willing to work that extra hour. Still she carried that sparkle in her eyes, inspiring all the time. She has been working this way since she was a child. Happiness for her wore a different definition. Meeting others expectations, giving her best on the behest of her own judgment. A moment here and there in my memory lane I could see her crying, a few drops of tears would roll down her face but she has always been prompt to wipe them out leaving no marks. Still she would not complain. She would work. Work like a machine, the best machine. Days fly. Signs of aging shows up, unfazed she was never worried for aging. For her beauty wore a different definition, the smiling faces around her, the joyous yells and charismatic disposition. And she is ever beautiful. Her mornings have always preceded that of Sun's. And night late. She would pick her nagging child up in her arm yet  deliver flawless precision with one hand. No complains. A story teller, a creative director of unseen imagery, a guide, a benevolent human and above all  a teacher. Her embrace always meant comfort. A truest friend in lowest of time, a cheer leader in the happy ones. She has always been there. Always. I have only one image of hers. As if she froze in my memory, and no matter how far back in time I see, I see her that way. Working, smiling, inspiring! She never aged beyond that, like the universe she has been been this way ever. A thousand complains she would listen to and solve each of them, asking in return just smile not even care, attention or affection. She makes food taste better, clothes smell sweeter. Her presence made the house, a home. Time has taken a toll on her body, a wrinkle here and there, hair grayed and eyes can't read with out specs. But that's about the body and she is beyond that. For her time has only strengthened her determination, ability to inspire and affection for everyone. Even now as the time strikes at her, making body weak, legs tremble, she stands undeterred. Firmer than ever, refueled with energy, there to guide, teach and inspire. She is an ever working woman, she is a mother. She is my mother. We call her "Maa".

"A mother is the best pain killer ever created by Dr. God"

Truly
Abinash

Saaraansh

Zindagi ki bheed main aise na khojao
ki parchayi to hai par tum na nazar aao

kuch yaadein lekar tum chale jaoge
kuch yaadein yuhin piche chor jaoge

beeta kal na palat ke wapas ayega
na ye aaj kabhi khud ko dohrayega

zindagi ke kore panno pe shyahee kyun chidakna
wo safed panna bhi ek din yaadon main gujar jayega

yaadon ki kashti main sawar palon ko samet te chalo
kyun ki pattjhad ke baad vasant fir ayega

cheezon ko jakad ke kyun bhaari karte ho bojh
inko peeche chor ke dekho zindagi ka matlab samajh main ayega

Intezaar hai kiska, hai udashi kis baatki
kuch pal beet gaye hain, aur kuch bas lamhein hai baaki

tum bhi gujar jaoge, ye pal bhi beet jayega
aaj tum jahan khadeho, wahan koi aur khel dikhane ayega

is manzar ko samjho, yehi hai saaransh iska
ek pal main tum ho, ek pal main ye khel khatam ho jayega!

- Truly
Abinash

The thing

Prologue: I was smiling, and the laptop played the song.. "Teri keh ke lungaa.." from GoW at its highest volume. Holding a weapon in hand Looking at the burnt remnants, I was smiling.

(30 minutes earlier)
It was not a bad evening at all. The cold breeze and the aroma of flowers were enticing.  "Khoya khoya chaand.." playing in the background would change its pitch with the flow of wind. I was engulfed by the whole moment. like a pinch of salt dissolved in its solvent of water. The music stopped playing and unaware I was in dream. A dream where the music was still playing and my warm breath would resonate with the breeze. The couch never felt any better! Body gave in to its own weight and I was soon in sleep. No sooner I slowly opened my eyes in a slow motion, frowning involuntarily. The music had stopped playing even in my head, I realized. It wasn't the music.. but it was a sound noise I was well aware. "guuuuuuunnnnnnn,,....." and it would die away. I would close my eyes and it was back again.. "guuuunnnnnnnnnnn". Like the music makes you sleep, this one wakes you up. With equal force! Lying on the couch I could see that damn thing moving over my head, in a swift maneuver it would go past my ear taking a sharp turn back over my face. I was helpless. Trying in vain to rescue myself. Struggling with immense frustration, drowsy eyes and a sense of self pity taking over my reasoning. But then not too far.. not real too far... with in my hand's reach I had the weapon of mass destruction! My reasoning took over pity, frustration turned int anger and I grabbed it. The weapon in hand I laid unfazed, determined and my brain went into calculations. It was a sight that thing was coming in with brutal force at me and the noise getting stronger with every passing fraction of the moment. I wanted to make the sight into a scene, a deadly scene. It came close enough and the weapon struck it. I smiled but it faded away as the thing was over my head. Again. It had survived the attack. I failed! All those motivating quotes ran through my mind and I gathered myself up. With an hurt ego, sense of defeat, determination of vengeance I fixed my eyes on it. And there it was in the reach of my long arms (I realized not kanoon only who has long arms), In an matrix style scene it was tried to defy my strike. but this time the moment belonged to me. The mosquito was dead, burning in its electrocuted pier. The weapon of mass destruction had proven itself yet again. The zapper, mosquito killing badminton rocks! Teri kehke leli.

Ek savere ke talaash main

Insano ki ya Insaniyat ki talaash main

aaj nikal pada hun wapas ek savere ki talash main

Khamosiyon main cheekhein gunjti hai ab

Insaniyat ko kahan dhundun, zinda main ya laash main

kisse puchun, kaun bataaye

kaise laun andhere se prakaash main?

Shab ki laalima odhe uss raat main jo khogaye

kahaan dhundu wo chehre, kamjori ya kamjoron main?

Sayad insano ki talaash main
aaj nikal pada hun wapas ek savere ki talaash main.

Truly
Abinash

Is there a thing called a stable marriage and relation ?? - Part 1

Disclaimer: This is more of a mathematical and logical analysis of marriage. This is for rational audience who can enjoy a piece of logic with out any involvement of emotion. Or rather some logical analysis of how relations, trust etc involuntarily get biased by numbers and probability. Normal (non engneer, non scientific-mathematical audience might find it a boring read. But even others might find it as boring! :D )
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Assumptions:

1.  All men and woman are straight
2. all men and woman appear in the "desired" list of each other with some weight. e.g. Some men may be 99% desirable for woman X and some may be just 0.001% for X and vice versa. But every one appears on the desirable list of each other.
3. We have not taken into account the possibility of preference change after they are coupled. (this will over complicate the situation :P) (this will be covered in part 2 of this research.)

Definition:

An unstable marriage: When given a married pair, X-a and Y-b, if man X prefers another woman 'b' more than his current wife 'a' and woman b prefers X more than her current man Y, then X-b is called a unstable pair. 

Any pair (X-Y) when not an element of the "unstable" set is said to be a stable pair.
Lets see:
Assume we have a sample set of 26 males marked as A,B,C,D....Z and a sample of 26 females marked as a,b,c,d....z.
Ask each of the man and woman to form a list desired partner in the order of precedence.
For example the list may look something like this:
Male                                             Female
-----                                             --------
A: b,s,d,c....                                 a: C,D,B,Z....
B: b,a,c,t....                                  b: A,P,C,W...
C:a,b,c,r....                                  c: B,D,S,T....   
(This just an example combination shown here)

Now our job is to find how many "stable pair" can be formed which can result in a happy and trustworthy marriage. One of such approach as it would occur to mind first is to  go on forming pairs based on the preference list. Call a pair when a mutual inclusion of male,female exist in their preference list high on precedence. And swap it when encounter a yet higher mutual precedence. Example: Initially (B-c) will be paired but later their partners can be swapped and they may form a more stable pair like (C-a) and (B-c)
This seems working here but it may lead to re-swap and hence form an infinite loop on a bigger data set.
So lets first solve the problem at hand to form stable couples set:
pick an unpaired male X and the list female x on his list(first preference)
remove x from his list and check if x is already paired
if already paired then check if X appeared on a higher precedence then x's current partner in her list (if x is unpaired then pair up X-x for now)
          if yes then pair up x with X and continue with the next male.
else if X does not appear on a higher precedence on x's list as compared to her current partner then pick next female on X's preference list.
Now so far so good! We feel we can actually form a stable marriage and stay happy(works for an arranged marriage). But in a real world we don't run such an exercise while considering to get married. So I tried to just have some data around it and apply for game theory to see what might be the trend look like if we consider married people or people newly in love and assign a weight to their trust and relation how would it look like. I asked a few people to answer a few questions:
1. What their dream partner attributes look like
2. How often they end up admiring some one from opposite gender cause he/she matched with some of the attributes they admire are present in them?
3. How many such people are around them in acquaintance circle who can match their criteria?
4. What is the attribute precedence list look like for them?
and few other question which were little private and optional for them to answer like their sexual behavior and compromising point of "more-moral-ego-based-attribute" to a "more-materialistic-based-attribute" Like a happy charming fellow's charm compromised to someone else's salary etc.

One I had the answers to these questions. My job was to do a little research to find out from their Facebook behavior what they tend to like + how many guys at least I think match their criteria. And once let us say paired, what are the emotional, geographical exposure they will have to the other potential matches we had found earlier. All these taken into consideration with the futuristic projection of the change in the "desired attributes" in the partner and other potential candidates makes a recipe for stable and trustworthy relation! Lets take an example first of Male A and female 'c':

Male A say is paired with female 'c'. Male A's criteria looked like
- Good looks, decently educated, fair skinned, lovable, belonging to a reputed family background, easy going, working
- With these criteria he got married to female 'c'.  Attributes female c had in reality - good looks, fair skin, a well earning day job, higher educated, independent mind and lifestyle, easy going.
- 'c' had criteria of a match as - presentable, tall, secure job, good sense of humor, dependable background with handsome earnings, extrovert.
Attributes male A had in reality - Good looks, tall, handsome earning, not that dependable background, extrovert with a big friend circle, high educated, secure but frequently travelling job.
Female 'c' has exposure to matching criteria males in job, from past friends, in society she lives.
Male A has exposure to matching criteria females in cities he travels to, from past friends, in society he lives, in parties etc (as he is extrovert and has a huge friend group).

Let us say these criteria changed in both partner's after few years the female stopped working or male lost job, male/female or both deteriorated in looks, easy going became tough given social complexities.

In such a situation the probability of choosing another partner becomes prominent. Lets see how prominent by applying some game theory to it. And lets see should one break the trust in a situation like above?

N.B. (I will post a follow up on this today. Either will update the same blog or post a new one on top of this. As its growing big, am breaking it into two. :) till then keep wondering and let me know your guess to the above question in the comments.

Truly
Abinash

Why me?

"Why this has to happen at all.." he sniffed. "I have been a loving father, a caring husband and a hardworking man. Then why me? So many people in the world overlook their fundamental family and social responsibilities. So many people breach rules, behave violently posing a threat to others comfort and life!" he said in a rather drab voice.
It calls for a serious probe as to why by any chance a sane and "moral" man has to suffer when there are more (suffering) deserving people living out there happy and healthy lives? Deep within I could relate to it. The feeling I mean! It did not take me long to realize its not the pain of the suffering alone. Its more about self condemnation. When ever we see a man suffering the first thought that strikes involuntarily is the sense of relief , of course we feel compassion, a strong desire to help etc. but these more 'moral' feelings follow because we are relieved that we are not in that situation! Its built into our genes, coded into the very nature of intelligent life. And when we fall prey to one such disease or trauma our sense of relief  goes through turmoil and we find it hard to accept, how come we could be hit when we sailed un-hit so many other times?
By the law of religion: 
If we see what answer religion may have to offer or why we feel more pain, fascinates me!
Religion (all of them) teaches us to be moral, self controller, compassionate and charitable. It says the bad must suffer, the sinful must burn in hell and the selfish must bear the pain. And living by this code we every moment struggle to self-justify that we are righteous, selfless and helpful. This eternal struggle is but a friction to the very nature of our gene. Our genes are coded to be most selfish for survival. They affect out thoughts and behavior. We give up being ration and try to be a religious man not cause we know we should be more cause we are afraid of being the victim. And when we are the victim our trauma magnifies by many folds. To console, religion did an amendment with multiple birth theory and karma being calculated and carried over to next births etc. But that hardly explains why some one has to suffer while other get away with ill doing.
Law of Nature:
There are laws of nature which are universally the same for every one. does not discern people over money, sex, religion, dead, living or anything. If you exist in this universe the laws apply on you! Its a random choice. A random selection that one encounters a fortune or a misfortune. For example 10 people went for a hike, 9 survived but just one toppled over the peak to a fatal fall. Now what caused him fall? Gravity! and gravity was working on each individual out there on the top. But why only one has too fall? Its a random event if we look just by the law of nature.
              But if you take a bottom up approach and connect the dots we may figure out a reasoning why he had to fall and why he had a bigger chance of falling then others. The choices we make at any moment they affect the yield of the next moment. There ain't anything called completely random. Things are biased in a smaller sample, adding to a bigger pattern and each bigger pattern summing up to form another. However these patterns as of today can only be understood looking back, once the events have already occurred. So for us the why me part of the problem does not really going to help. If we think rationally we already knew why me.
Game theory explains:
Let us assume all beings in the universe are rational. Life is a variety of game. Where we make choices to maximize pay-offs. Pay offs like a better lifestyle, success, happiness, relations, social status etc. We deal with fellow competitors(humans). Now if we look at it we can find we spend maximum energy calculating and comparing the relative pay off. Comparison we make with other competitors. This nature tempts us to bias our decisions and hence we choose non optimized strategies just to land on a much less pay off than what we should have got. But over all prize in the whole game is constant so when some one looses because of a choice some one else must with on that move. And that's how exactly it all works.  So the best way to play life would be to device a strategy which is indifferent of other loss or gain and we always choose to maximize our own pay offs and make honest decision. This will improve the over all game condition.


Why me?
You cause you are a 'random' choice of the laws of nature
You cause your decision biased nature's random choice making your selection slightly more probabilistic
You cause religion does not really help neither being religious in defying nature's laws

Truly
Abinash

Anjaan

Tanha mushafir ki tarah chalna gavaraa nahin
khaamosi main jo gunjtaa hai wo dil hai mera, koi aawara nahin
kabhi to pehchaan le in nazron ko e-zaaaleem
main bheed main shameel ek chehra anjaanaa nahin.

Truly
Abinash

How

how some one's smile can bring me tear?
some one's happiness, piercing the heart like a spear.

How it really feels to see the cause of your sorrow
may bring smile to some one tomorrow.

What I flinged as nothing,
it was but some one's everything!

And thats how some one's smile can bring me tear
and you never really understand, cause you were never there!

Consciousness as I perceive it

As a kid I was always fascinated by almost everything I saw. I wanted many of them. After a long day when I go to bed I used to dream, dream of  thoughts coming form real experiences from day mixed with the imaginations I could possibly make. It was always reality till I wake up to the reality in the morning in a confused mind. It comes over like a infinite loop of thoughts.
                                Consciousness is one of the most fascinating and abstruse topics out there. Am I not conscious when I am deep in sleep dreaming? Or am I not conscious when I am so focused that am not able to hear the loud music playing next to me? Consciousness has been described by philosophers and lately by scientists to be a mental state of awareness of the surrounding, the connection our brain has with the information it has at that given moment and the perception it generates from it. Correct they are, may be. Religion has a different take, they relate it to the hidden power every human has in their body, when a human body becomes aware of this power and the power hence rises to the highest position a man becomes conscious universally, and he is the one called the conscious man.
                                Consciousness as neurologists describe it is a process of action and transmission mechanism by the billions of neuron in the brain achieved through synapses. I agree. But the neurons in our brain are connected with 6 senses and generates a set of information from it. Taking the brain from one state to another every fraction of second. The eyes, ears, touch, smell, taste and sense of feeling (cold, heat, fear, instinct etc). These senses gives data to the brain and brain generates information from it for us to have a unique perception varying by the state of brain we are in while we do the processing. The perception not necessarily be in the realm of reality it can actually be an illusion. Let us say I am confined in a room and the room walls are transparent enough that I might not be ever able to perceive the wall until I crash into it. But given that the room is sufficiently large, I would rather not crash into it. Nor I will even try to cause I am unaware of it in my present consciousness. The world might be a same case. We are bound by the play of Maaya. Never aware that we are confined in it. Never trying to cross pass it and enlarge our awareness into the reality beyond the walls. There is a connection between every element in the universe. They all came to being from nothingness. And are made up from the very same fundamental particles. Every object in the universe is a metamorphosis of the very fabric of the space time in the universe. So how can there is not a connection? This when we take a billion light years top view will be nothing but a network similar to what we have in our brains! A network of all the objects in the universe but each hidden from other with in a realm of virtuality as explained in the confined room example above. Only the objects beyond their respective walls are connected in this supreme and infinite network of information and aware of every thing in the universe. The present state, the past it was in and the future it might ever be in. The play of Maaya is then broken and these objects become conscious. the closest we can ever be to beat this play of Maaya is in a human.
                                            Physics has laid down laws saying information is never lost in the universe. The other laws of physics as it says neither the energy is ever lost, its just transformed from one state to other. But once this conversation complete where is the information of the past state? Where is the information what happened during the transformation? This is not lost cause the whole system is connected like neural network and its stored in the universal consciousness. We can always be aware of such a thing and retract mathematically to see the possibility of the earlier state. The surety can only come when we are connected to the infinite universal consciousness. Once connected we would never need history to be written ever! One day when we live long enough we might have mathematical proof for the presence of this boundary, the Maaya. and may be that day we will take our stride to live beyond the wall. But for me we all are but living in an illusion in a realm too small, in a confined cell.

P.S. A more technically detailed article(analogy with fractals, evolution of the universe and the significance of black holes with information theory and how it effects the entropy of the universe) I have written but for readers convenient have not posted that. Interested reads can leave a comment and I would share it with them.

Truly
Abinash

How Chetan Bhagat got from "kicked on ass" to "kick-ass": A take on Indianness

India is a vast nation, indeed like the universe. Negligible substance and substantial emptiness! Just so friendly that any sound made will be echoed. And we the Indian? Aah.. we have vitiated ourselves to such a stance that if a sound is made potentially it is presented as noise then considered chaos and it plays havoc! Our heroes are different than the rest of the world. We believes in miracles, we trust in word more than actions (unless it is on silver screen), we are the only channel where sound travels faster than light! Really trust me. Lets do a case study of it by taking the Chetan bhag example. You all know him, don't you?
                               Chetan bhagat writes a "crap" book called five point someone (come one count how many times he has used 'crap' in it then call me wrong) and it rides on the middle class dream of IITs and IIMs to hit the best seller stand. Now we the middle class are actually literally middle class. Like middle finger, middle body part, middle of the road (the divider), middle of no where and middle of a gay island, we the middle class are here just to symbolize "fucked up" things. So how could we ever miss out on some thing like one night at call center and three mistakes of my life which are so fucked up already! We made them an instant hit. So now this guy Mr. Bhagat was considered the best writer ever in his own right or rather rite. He being a investment banker earlier how could he miss on such an opportunity to ride the tide. He made controversies when ever possible and where ever possible. Whats most frustrating is the recent fiasco on NRN's comment. He is a man who gave Indian software industry a new definition,  he made a comment on IITs, a personal opinion. The guy equipped with the sensing capabilities of a dog, pokes his nose and makes an outrageous comment. Then comes the indian media. They have the capabilities of a diarrhea-ed buffalo herd to make the whole place shitty. And they did exactly that! Look at the home page of CNN-IBN

NRN essentially made a sound, a personal sound. Mr. Bhagat made it a loud noise and the media now makes it a chaos! So indigenous an art we have!  Bhagat's argument is NRN should understand it might hurt people even if you speak the truth! Now what the heck that means on earth? And where is that "sense-of-restraint-for-not-hurting" when he calls a 1.5 Lakh populous company a 'body shop'. May be body shop means the same as consulting outsourcing but had they been really same we would not call pussy as vagina. I don't want to take a communication course for Mr. writer. NRN said what he felt and he told in a polite and formal manner. Even myself before making a statement like Mr. Bhagat would think twice what my parents taught me "bolne se pehle kuch nahin to umra ka lihaaz kiya karo". But my real frustration is not with Mr. Bhagat actually. Its with the media. Yaar kya hogaya tumko? I mean, how can that be a headline for a day "Bhagat not sorry for calling infy a bodyshop". Now who cares if he is sorry or not. Who cares really? He being sorry wont make Infy a 100 billion dollar company neither that will make India shining in reality, but yes it can certainly make his next to be published "crap" an instant hit. He got what he wanted. The media got what it wanted. Murthy takes home frustration and we take home a more foolish us!

On seriousness, laziness and happiness

Disclaimer: This is like a preachy note from second paragraph, don't read if you hate them :D

I have always been lame. More because I am too lazy to try and understand things. I am happy in my own den. Lately I do not tend to pick discussion/argument and I choose to ignore anything that is not humorous or vulgar. I have lost that conspicuous desire to be taken notice of and the oozing dream of being looked at by every other girl. They seem boring now. I enjoy just sitting with a void mind, my back resting on the couch, head thrown back. Not even willing to fantasize I rather choose to listen to people and laugh about it on my own. I was told I must be serious, its serious discussion, I just can't laugh like that.
My mind rushed back in time till my childhood, its not new that I am being asked to be attentive for a "serious" discussion. It has always been the case with me. After puting a lot of load on my grey matter I could finally understand what is classified as a serious issue. Let's bullet them down:

• Anything that can result in loss or profit of money
• Anything that can result in win or loss of "image" you carry
• Anything that can result in increase or decrease in age
• Anything that goes against the self interest

All of these point revolve around one central point and that is "defending your self interest". Nobody is exactly the person every one else thinks him to be. Including his parents/spouse. But he spends his life defending that perception which varies from each person to the other, quite an engaging job isn't it? Engaging enough to comsume a lifetime! After a particular age, does it matter if you live 10 years more or 10 years less? To me it does not. self interest changes with time, age, context, mood and accessibility so a lot of variable factors attached. Can not spend time brooding over somthing so unstable. Aspirations, ambitions, award, reward all fall under it. Brain is an amzing machine you remember those moments from past when you were not "so serious" about it. Cause those moments made you ecstatic.
In reality there ain't anything called as a serious thing, everythying is as nonsensical as any other. Life is like a F1 race, all you have to do is take a seat, fast the seat belt and enjoy the ride! If you concentrate too much on the drift, gear, clutch, tuning and winning you lose all the beauty and fun. Cause it does not matter if you end top or bottom or not even complete the journey. Wht matters and true is 'it ends anyway' with or with out you.

Truly
Abinash

The black holes and Life: Are we real?

A black hole as it has turned out to be is an object in space with say infinite gravitational force and exhibits singularity at its center. Singularity is a mystery in the current scientific realm. All we know about it is, its a phenomena where all known law of physics, space and time break down. Matter vanishes, and time ends. Now from Einstein's general theory of relativity it comes as a fact that universe is a fabric of space and time. Upon this fabric gravity has a wrapping effect. That means two gravitational monster can connect to each other through their centers and make travel possible between two point in the universe which apparently would have been impossible otherwise. So if we think we can develop such technology and science some time far in future to sustain through the event horizon of  a black hole and travel almost at the speed of flight, then we might as well make it possible to travel the universe end to end in a single life time. This may require twisting the space time fabric over the dimensions oblivious to our observation. But with time man either can become aware of further dimensions after the evolution of human brain naturally over a long enough time or man can device ways to do it with scientific technology. Either way it will certainly become possible.
                        And obviously time will be squeezed. Like time is nothing but a sense of changing states. When we had no jet planes we took the slow roadways to reach from a source to destination and that might require say a day long journey. Our presentation over space and time graph took a longer value in time for the same displacement in space. Now it might just take an hour for the same displacement. We can think of it as being time has been prolonged for us as we now can observe more states in space in the a given span of time. So if we continue to make this transition faster and faster enough we can actually live as much life we do now in just one day. It essentially becomes equivalent to as if a day for a man in that future time will be like a life time for us  (Here I have assumed life to be a set of experiences of transitions from one state to another). A man in future can actually theoretically squeeze space over a smaller span of time and if the trend continues its actually possible that some day in future man can travel seamlessly between ant part of the space over a very infinitesimally small time. Almost like a man appearing at many places at the same instance.

                          All these are possible when man can master the science of delving into the center of a Blackhole , cross the singularity and resurrect himself again. As we learn the most fundamental foundation of physics is: information is always preserved. Matter loses it's form as time may pass but the information is always preserved in the building blocks of the matter. A black hole is nothing but a collection of infinite energy and matter, infinite amount of information. A man who can cross the singularity can actually recreate anything, just anything by using that information stored in the black hole. Hence a man in future can actually recreate a world that we call our present.
                            Now coming to the main point I wanted to make here. All these scientific explanations written above are a deliberation to prove what we chose to call as God and miracles. It leads me to think of two possibilities.
1. Else where in the universe life was created much before than on earth: (below points are two possibilities form this main assumption)
    1.1 Else where in the universe life was created much before than on earth, millions or thousands of years prior to the creation of life on earth. at such a time that at present the man in that world are evolved enough to adhere to the powers and properties described above. And in reality life was never created on earth actually. Earth would become just a recreation of the information of the past of that world. Like a prototype earth exists, in their illusion and our reality. In reality we are non existent in the current universe. We are just a set of reconstructed model, illusions in the current real universe.
     1.2 We are real. And we are governed by those advanced creatures who took birth and evolved much before us.We might just be living a world governed by them. And they exhibit the qualities as described above scientifically.so we consider them as "God". And some day we might as well reach that level of intelligence and govern another world as being god ourselves.
      1.3 We are robots. Programmed by them. Living in their design. One of the most extraordinary design. We are fake creatures of their will. Our thoughts, future, every choice we make is predefined and well programmed. Our fate is predetermined. We are here just to be terminated after execution like any other computer program.

2. We are the only creature in the universe:
that way some day will come  where some one else will be writing a same blog and we will be the advanced creature in the point above.

For me its more like we are living some one else's dream world.

Truly
Abinash

And four years have passed....

It was not funny. I landed on Bangalore not being airborne but from a second class sleeper coach of a roaring Indian railway express. Krishnaraj Puram it read. Overcast it was, looked rather gloomy. Clinging to my VIP Alfa small suitcase and an MRF emblemed brown  air bag I took a deep breath of the moist air. Anxiety was overwhelming as I could remember it now. Crowd rushing down the platform, people hurling greetings at each other, laughter, the hawker's yell all dissolved slowly into the air. My anxiety grew, suddenly I caught myself stranded amongst unknown faces, unknown land and unknown language. Restless eyes searched for the guy, promised me to see me on the platform. I was clueless where to go. My asset included an SBI atm card with 5000/- rupees in it and books, many of them. My restless eyes struck to a distant face and it brought me smile, a real satisfying smile of relief, joy. It was the guy who was to see me. Riding onto my first BMTC experience in a crowed bus he asked, "so how do you feel at the first sigtht?". It was like a convoy of bmtc buses for me, one after another staked on. I snapped "sad". Indeed it was. I hated the overcast weather, noise, crowd, big buses, heavy traffic. It was for my first experience in any metro city. We started walking towards the house from the bus stop, its near by just 2 km he would say. Crossed level crossing, fields, muddy roads and body almost gave in to the weight of the bags. Finally the 3rd floor 1bhk apartment was at sight. I smiled again. With relief.
It was soon dusk and I was led to the 'bakery'. Bun samosa he ordered. I felt its luxurious here. Bun samosa was a luxury for me. Took a look around, it whole sight was filled with young people most of them like me had come to take a bet on the future. A job in IT. It did not took me long neither to get used to the two kilometer walk down the mud till the bus stop nor hating the bun samosa I considered luxury. Time flew and luck was considerably benevolent on me. I had won the bet. Got a job before runing out of the 5000/- rupees, the only sum I had and would have.
                   Four years have passed since then. And I have fallen in love with city again and again every time I tried to break off. The charm holds you in her arms and you feel engulfed in her lust. Now I seldom take that train, I get airborne. Now I seldom take the bus, I hire cabs. Now I seldom eat bun samosa, I devour sizzler, now I seldom hate the overcast weather, I love it.
     This city has given me luck, charm, love, tears, smiles, friends and above all an identity. A respect in the society and a voice of my own. She has strewed joy on me. Now when I leave her behind the four years play before my eyes. Play in slow motion for me to realize that each sight was indeed a scene and I gulp it down my soul. I smile at her and she smiles back at me. She does not complain, does not demand. She just awaits for a new lover. Love you Bangalore.

P.S. As I am leaving Bangalore for Hyderabad, I must acknowledge the love bestowed on me. Thanks to every one.

Truly
Abinash

Why I hate Shahrukh Khan

Shahrukh Khan and I share a bad old relation and it goes back to the time of his movies like "Raju bangaya gentleman". It was the first movie I watched in a theater. And I slept to loose my floaters. Now so many years have passed since then and every year infallibly Shahrukh added some more reasons to make him more loathsome to me.  The reasons are (not in the order of precedence, they are randomly placed )

• He is the only creature who sounds like a goat, but never tastes like one.
• He got into cricket, to make the neat place where a four was cheered with hooting, converted to goating... heyyyyyy......  foooouuurrrrrrr haaaaaaannn......
• He dared to drop Dada!
• He is a liar, even after being made legal, he did not come out in public to accept his relation with Karan Johar.
• He is the protagonist in Rabne Banadi Jodi
• All the people I hate Love Shahrukh Khan, so my hate for him is just Transitivity of Mathematics
• His film, My name is Khan and I am a fatuu never got released.
• Human rights and environmentalists should sue him, he has sucha  big nose he consumes as much as 3 times more oxygen, hence making two people die being breathless some where. 
• The girls I like, like Shahrukh khan instead, cause they find him homogeneous. 
• Once I wore a t-shirt with his name printed and I was chased by dogs.
• Personal Reasons. :D

Many reasons.. so many that my  blogger space will be reaching its limits. 

That thing called - Career

As far back I can remember I can recall this word - "career". It has always been there, like a shadow. When I grew up as a kid dusting my heavily mudded half pants all I could understand from this word was the very own career (meant to carry) on bicycles, often sticking to the rear end just above the mud guard. But as soon as I started recognizing the English Alphabets at class 5, the definition changed. I would heard of it very often and mostly with a serious and heavy tone attached to it. Must be a big thing I would wonder. As a kid I was told I was bright, bright in school. I used to feel happy with that appreciation and motivated at times. For me school was just fun, nothing more, nothing less. I had no interest in those thin books (booklets?) nor in the maadams (didis) who terrorized the class with sticks. But I was told I must top the scholarship exams since class 3. It was considered prestigious. My mom would teach me and she taught me well. I topped then. I would over hear, Sibun has a good career. He will do well in career. I would feel happy, and take pride among my school mates. 

I grew up a little more joined a boy's high school, The class teacher told good career should be the only motto of our life and he would spend the class boasting about how his eldest son is a senior Police inspector and youngest son is a doctor. It was boring, I hated coming to school. But then i was supposed to build good career. My intrinsic desires paved way to extrinsic decisions imposed on me. I had to top the class seventh scholarship exam, its a district level exam after all. Topping it would mean I am best in the district. I did. I was immeasurably happy. Teaches appreciated and relatives congratulated. I was in highschool. I moved to class 8th. My class teacher was a mathematics teacher he would love me and often say I do good in maths, he used to humiliate my fellow classmates citing my example how I solved it and how they could not. I felt happier. I was sadist. It harmed their "career" and it harmed mine too. I was discussed among my highschool teaches that I will have a good career. I grew up little more older. Now I was the fore speaker of this word. I was in my intermediate college. I loved Physics, but I loved cricket and my adolescent psychology more than physics. But I hated everything else, the maths to chemistry. I was told to prepare for IIT. But by then I was beginning to have my own set of likes dislikes and decisions. I played cricket and more cricket. I would feel an unusual attraction towards girls, many fantasies would come to the mind. And I did what I liked then, playing more cricket. I felt happier to hit a boundary and not to solve a problem from mathematics. I decided I will have a career in cricket. But they was but a bubble. It busted with out noise. I did not go to IIT and I joined a rather "not so good" college. I was told I don't have career now. And my career is dim lit. I was rebuked, by the same who once assured I have a bright career. But what was my fault? I just did not appreciated and enjoyed reading the Russian Author text books. So career is a variant in the reaction of life, I learnt. I was in the final year of engineering when the placements began. I was told I would be the first to get a job by my professors. They were wrong. But this time I did not smile or felt happy when they said so cause I had understood the fallacy of the word "career". Right then a new definition was entered to my own lexicon by the visiting companies. Career is 60% in all boards. And once placed, just any guy with any company with a headcount of lakhs and salary calculated in terms of "per annum", was told he is bright, has a good career. Appreciation flooded to each of such person who was placed in those interviews saying what a bright career they have. And everyone was enriched with satisfaction that he achieved  he target, the "career". Job done. 

                              I am no different. I am part of that crowd, timid, coward, craving all life long for getting a social nod for identity and Majorly mediocre. All the life long we sacrificed our fun in childhood, the desire to explore in the highschool, the sense of freedom in junior college and the power to learn in graduation to achieve this one thing? A face less few kilo over weight "another guy" in the crowd thousand. The definition of career started with district level scholarship exam, ran thru iit preparation, ended with a final definition of 60% in boards and a job letter to be lost in the masses. All career long, this thing called career has taken everything. And now its taking even more when you go to office on Monday morning and the boss snaps on your face "don't you want a good career? if you really want start being proactive and finish things over weekend". Is career ne leli yaar humari to. 

On Bangalore

Life revolves in this city of joy. Making rounds of the same corners, same humor, same routines and same feelings. Bangalore has always been predictable, utterly disgusting at times and nagging, yet it manages to seduce you with its charm, may be that why Bangalore is like your wife. The trees and the warm sunny mornings makes you its slave. Enchanting sights of the cosmopolitan modernized women appeal you as much as the empty roads on a early Sunday morning. With day's break the rush of back pack clad people hurl onto the roads to rig it off its innocent emptiness. The red signals stop them to feed the numerous stranded beggars rounding up in torn cloths. The rush ends behind the glass walls of the air conditioned buildings of tech parks. These buildings and the computer staring masses in it make Bengaluru, Bangalore. The charm of the city is like the neighbor's charming  wife, you always look at it with lust and relentlessly try to engulf it. The bizarre nomenclature of localities to the monotonously same menu at each 'Tiffin' join spells the fusion of Bengaluru and Bangalore.
                              Beauty has always been its attraction, may it be its green parks or faired skinned, beautiful legged women rushing down Brigade road. Malls make landmarks of the city. They are all over it, claiming their own share of belongingness. Its a city where money flows, even in the small pani puri thela stalled at the road side. The crowd that rave the roads are pretentiously intellectual. Two wheelers with a round assed girl on the back clinging to the rider is as common a sight as jammed traffic. Variety of man make this place what it is, every form of art has a respectable place here, including crime. Bangalore is like a modern girl friend, you love being with, feel warm and cozy, but scared of getting married to. The city is just like the young dweller of it, restless.
Welcome to the city of love, spirit, engineers and malls. Welcome to Bangalore, my girl friend Bangalore.

Truly
Abinash

Of life, Of love, Of sex

Life always fascinates me, it fascinated me as a joyful child and as a mournful loner. I was creative as far back as I could remember and I can sense it diminishing thoroughly as my memory retreats from that far back time to reach present. It has been kinda smooth for me, the life. I almost never worried much as to what I would do when I grow up, I never spared my thought to find out what are my natural instinct and dreams. I have always been lazy, sensitive to emotions, marginally insecure and broadly nonsensical. My natural instinct would be to reject any idea that I fear is superior to that of mine, instantly. But then I have come in terms with that behavior and have made it perish lately. I have learnt to accept things for the way they are, people for the way they are. And its a pleasing sense. Much better than the sadist egoistic satisfaction I used to get by rejecting them earlier. I feel more secure now, my thought remain more indifferent to the outer world that way. Life has brought me many surprises. Most of them are good and for good. I feel lucky. And thankful most of the times. Dubious incidents now make sense to me and I rejoice. I feel change is good and thrive for it. My inner most desire to cling to the things I love, things I want to preserve has faded away. This desire of holding makes you unhappy. As my heart is now relieved of any such desire, I find my thoughts falling into place, mostly filled with satisfaction and not obsession. Life as I have learnt is a set of memory, good or bad, but its just a set of memory. Imaginations take shape and I see my life, now more beautiful  and free. Free of restricted dreams, sublime fame, sense of  obvious pretense for being in a society of materialistically gone mad fellow living beings.  I now feel no sad for my fame to die or name to go bad. For my face not being recognized by college juniors, smiles not being given back by beautiful colleagues. Euphoria and ecstasy drive me away not being drifted by the magnetic fatal attraction of  wealth, fame and "sense of achievements". Life is to live, and living is synonymous to happiness. Happiness is a fairly uncomplicated term and never momentary. I feel lucky and I feel more happy as I feel I am mortal. I feel my life has just begun.

Love is a good thing to experience. It makes you smile when you are alone. Sitting on a deserted hillock or on your porch, you feel you belong to some one. Your heart race and blood pressure builds, eyes closed you delve into dreams. Pure euphoria. Love for me has never been a boon. I tried to make love my mistress may be and it cursed me. I was always longing to be in love. And I fell in it indeed. For that part of my life I would name it lovely. Yes, thats how you feel. Lovely. Concentration rich the peak it can ever get to. Always focused on the loved one. Smiles never stop, and joy seems just to be beginning every passing day. In the shadows of unknown crowd and strange land the sens of your hand being held by the one you love, the sense of you love being with you makes you sail. You embark unafraid of the storms that may await you. Just you. You defy the misfortune that may lust you. But love is too mortal like man. Its born as a cute innocent thing, grows to become a complex, confused and entangled not-so-good thing and die naturally or mutilated in an undesired way. But it dies with or before you. An unnaturally dead love, leaves scars that hurt and haunt for the rest of life. Still "peeda main anand jise ho, aye wo meri madhushala". Love is the only of its kind where even paint is ecstatic. You restlessly chase this pain, just to get possessed by it once. And this pursuit is worth it.

                 He who feels the pain of his own soul, and clings to it

                and yet thrives to spend his whole life, in that one moment of pain

               he is the man in true love, he is the man of true form

Love is the drink of gods disguise, this moment is your last chance, go get drunk.

Sex as a word makes ripples of current run through your spine as it does as an act. Its one of the best gifts nature has given to human. To love and to lust out of love. Every human act is closely associated with one thing, ego. Ego is the driving force of life. And sex is a man's alter ego. Its spells how you are. A philosopher knows everything in the world are fallacies. But lust of the beloved is a purest form of emotion like true prayer. Its unfiltered, unrestricted, soulfully desired and magnificently ecstatic. I have always been fascinated by it. Desiring to enact myself as the best lover the world has ever seen. Every one does. Often I get obsessed with it too. Not anymore. sex is life in compact. You start excited, you want it to never end, but only the end makes it worth it. And you forget how much you enjoy when you do it. Sex like life is a set of memory. A hundred small things make a complete act of passion. And you try to cling to each of them but you can not as a rule cause you have to rush for the end. That is the goal. And to enjoy it fully you must spend just enough amount of time doing it that your body naturally drives itself to. Otherwise soon its monotonous and you lose the whole purpose of it. Same, analogous to life. Let the mind drive itself. Don't drag it. Don't push it hard. Just remember you have to enjoy each moment of if but its enjoyable cause it has an end, a climax and that keeps you driving. In life you die and in sex you orgasm. Enjoy it, making love to your beloved is not a shameful act live living your life is never one too. The man who says so is the man who never lives. Sex is sin just in dead man's dictionary.

       My beloved's embrace is the heaven for me, I find solace only there

      From ruins I rise too, with the sense of my beloved's desire

     my enemies, the world how would they know, I am a man in love, my soul has caught fire.

Truly

Abinash

The plan is : there is no plan.

What we are taught at the B-schools and what we learn behind the big glass building sitting across the table with fluent, apt and distinguished personalities is art of planning . But do we really need it? And whats a plan after all? considerable amount of literature and philosophy has been developed on the law of nature, how luck works, how the nature has a plan for you. And in modern day we try and overlook completely that and tend to over depend on the planning ability of a human brain. But if we try and take a closer look, we find there is no single instance where a plan has succeeded 100%. And even when we claim it was planned, it was serendipity in disguise.
Planning does one thing for sure, blocks our wide vision and streamlines it in one direction. Planners call it 'focused approach'. I call it closed approach. My vision is blind to other possibilities. I don't see any other road. And the worst part is probability of better ways being there is more and I choose to blind myself. A man has 6 senses. And the 6th sense is the gut instinct driven by trust and grown by experience. Like dog we can sense danger, we can sense euphoria, we can sense when some one in interested. The same sense can come handy in picking up what the best we can choose among the ones we have in disposal. Nature drives you to realize the potential in you and you must be driven. We must give serendipity the deserving share of it existence in our life. Let not plan block its way and we grow complacent with a mediocre result.
A planned way can always be traversed, but an unplanned way can not be traversed by planning. so what if it fails? It leads to dead end? We can come back to the same junction and walk the planed path.
In my experience in the software industry as a developer in a team, I understand planning fails. We must have a certain directives like which direction to look at, and the goal must set. But the path must not be defined. The planning fails with the tendency to define even the path. All we need to do is believe and vision. Rest let the nature lead us to that, we must be ready to work for it.

Truly
Abinash

Dekhi ye duniya

Bewafayee dekhi, rushwayee dekhi
dekhi ye duniya iski tamashahi dekhi

manzar dekhe, najare dekhe
dekhi hai zindagi, iski farmayish dekhi

lazawab wo hushn dekha, bemishal uske paentare
mohabbat main shikasht dekha, gamseen wo sarphire

sazi hui dewarein dekhi, aur dekhe hare bhare khet
naqab posh wo insaan dekhe, zindagi ko jakadein jaise mutthi main ret

mehfeelein dekhin, matam dekhi
dekhi ye duniya, iski sachhai dekhi.

Truly
Abinash

Love and betrayal

Under a full moon, on a rose bed she surrenders her glowing body
embraces with a pure heart and submits the bare soul
holding the gaze in eyes, she vows to renounce the world and merge in his heart
clinging to the body he desired, holding to the soul he loves
he succumbs to the faith she bestowed and believes it for life
Such is the innocence of a man in love and such is the deception of the woman with him!
Only the time  discerns the man's trust and the woman's betrayal!


- Abinash


Truly
Abinash

HBO Documentary film - Terror in Mumbai

Terror in Mumbai - 26/11

HBO's documentary film on Mumbai terror attack.
The conversations(between the terrorists and their handlers)  intercepted by Indian intelligence clear and detailed. Its very sad to see how India lacked in handling this. very sad. Nariman house could have been flushed out much before than it was and perhaps a few lives could have been saved.

Hum khandani hain.... IITian gharane se

Lately today I read a small note written by an IITian. I admire them, all IITians. They have done well and worked hard to get the well deserved glory. I tried and failed to be in the same league then. But does that necessarily makes me a moron or a man who should keep looking down upon self for not having that tag on my facebook and linkedin page? Its like being "hum khandani log hain". There khandan is decided by caste and wealth inherited by birth and here the khandan is decided by the exam cleared and certificate earned. Kudos. The fact is people are not "IITians" just because they went to iit, rather IIT is "IIT" because of the people went there. Its the people, their quality, attitude, brain and courage that matters and makes a difference. Be it IIT or be it non IIT.
I pity those who went to IIT still have to cross a mile to catch up with some one who did not by choice or could not by merit earned this IIT tag. Life is long and 2 years are just too short to decide a winner. "Aap ek khandan ka hissa bane, hum khandan bana rahe hain". We are happy and respect the fact that you enjoyed, Halliday-Resnick, Irodov and krotov. Just that we did not enjoy it as much then, does not necessarily makes us pitiable.
You being proud on self is great. But greatness never makes anyone fact blind. Fact is you and we the non-IITians are on the same boat, you are jealous of us when we are more successful as much as we are of you for not having IIT tag. Had it not been that, an explanatory response would not have been required anyway!

When it comes to play big and you have a non-IITian as competitor, the world has to choose.. "aapko wo chahiye jisne engineering se pehle do shaal padhai ki for sure, ya wo chahiye jisne engineering main padhai ki 4 saal for sure?" Kuch to baat hogi tabhi wo with out belonghing to the league still stands posing a threat!

Respect all. Defend your institute culture but don't offend others. Sibal anyway is not doing right. IITs are high standard institutes and that must be maintained for it to glorify in worl level.

Truly
Abinash

Jashn saraabor hai

Kuch dabi hui si khwahisein
kuch sazi hui si mehfilein
kuch rosham sa wo aasmaan
kuch muskurahatein yun khilen

kuch milgaya hai aaj wo
kuch aur hai ab ayine main
kuch jashn saraabor hai
kuch armaano ki wo silvatein

nain unmain tangg rahe
aur rooh jo madhosh ho
ek lamha aisa jahan
dard na mehsoosh ho

Kuch shakl wo roshan hua
kuch nigahein wo sarmayinsin
kuch lafz wo dheeme dheeme
bas kuch jashn wo saraabor hua

Truly
Abinash

Why can't we build a Hospital at the dispute site - Ayodhya?

Lately more than needed attention is being given to the Ayodhya episode and it has created quite a fuss. But my question is what is the fuss is all about? Why all the state government is on back foot? Why we have to always turn defensive just because a land is named Ayodhya or a river called Cauvery happened to flow since last 1000 years. I dont want a riot, you don't and the third person too. Then who are we afraid of? Who are those handful who can mobilize the mass? They are none but just few part leaders who actually wait for such episodes to gain wide media coverage. Its the media which enables a flame to become a tragic fire. This blown out of size media attention makes it a target for such filthy politician to pay the goons and get riots started. The administration is well aware of them but they become silent onlookers.
We know India is not a secular country except for in constitution, we know india is not a facilitator of free speech and right of equality except for in constitution. Its time we must stop pretending and come to accept that fact. If something is attached to mass emotion or religion it will be breached by politicians for selfish gains for the next thousand of years.
Why the supreme court has to give a verdict which can dismantle the stability at all? why can;t it just say at the dispute site they will construct an "Anathashram" for all religion. why can't they build a charitable hospital at the disputed site? Why we have to build a temple or masjeed?
Ask the local public what the need the most a hospital or a shrine. The government must now change its motto. It must like nature, provide the mass what they need and not what they want. Need will let them survive, want can only spill havoc in the time to come. Cause human fantasy has no bound and there deep with in every one lurks a beast waiting to come out. Want is evil, need is not.
Its high time we need to change the perception we carry. Initiatives like the "Aman ka tamasha"  "Aman ki asha" of Time of India can increase the sell of their circular but never achieve what they claim they want to.
Not using a weapon is not the existence or peace, feeling no need of it can. "peace is not the absence of crime, its the presence of justice" - Harrison Ford. I beg to differ. when there exist ideal peace, the term justice, injustice, war, crime fade away. Justice is not a measure of peace. The absence of the need to justify is the presence of peace. ayodhya and godhra will continue to come and live a threat to our lives as long as we as a whole feel affected by such things. At the end we are mortals, so are the lands, issues and the memories. History is a dead body, present is lively and future is blur. Lets not fight over a dead body making the present blur and future dark. Lets do the reverse way. forget the history into the dark, keep the present bright and future... let the people of the coming age decide how they want it.

Truly
Abinash

Just an idea for recommendation engines - web intelligence

I was browsing through some online book stores in India and I was not really happy with the recommendations they made. The recommendations were naive, obvious and not interesting. Reason?
When I use Google, I think in terms of "context" not "Object". For example I Type 'books + different algorithms  on web intelligence" this is a context that I am thinking and I might not have a certain object in mind as in a book title or a publication journal. I just have a context I am interested in and I do the search, get the result and proceed with what ever. Now coming back to these search portals of e-commerce sites, local listings, classifieds etc. They are a repository of 'objects'. And they enable search on these objects while I have a context. Now this does not really fit well, I mean I look for a context in such an repository. And then they making recommendations depending on the kind of search I frequently make, or the items I click. here whats missing is a set of few other informations.
Fact 1: I would not have searched just their portal or listing, I certainly would have searched else where (similar portals) parallely.

Fact 2: Probably I would have searched in google  too and it would have returned me results for my context.
Fact 3: What else I might have in mind when I types those key words?

Lately what i have observed is Google has spoiled the way we search by providing the luxury of intelligence in it. People tend to type in direct english (or other language) sentences as if they are conversing and expect exact result.
Then how to leverage on that piece of information?
Why can't our recommendation engine browse through the recent history of my browser, collect my search results and habit on the similar context and objects? We can actually use that data and the listing by the other portals, google before making a recommendation and precisely zero in on what I need.

That way the e-commerce portal can map more correctly from the context I am searching to the object they have and are selling. And I will come back to them as I find more suitable and exact results with them.
Just a random idea.

Truly
Abinash

Local Service reviews - Now on.

Lately I thought of listing a review of local services we get from the thousands of start ups. Like movies I felt they need a review too, of course they are free of cost mostly but then time is money. We spend time pondering through them. And there are plenty similar portals extending similar services but what makes a difference is the relevance of my need and usability and intelligence of the portals itself. So I will review them on these parameters as an end user.

Truly
Abinash

Lets Start-up!

Ok. I  have been in Bangalore for last 4 years and enjoyed and explored the city in and out. Loved it. 

After a good stint as a developer, working with few good minds I got thoughtful one fine day and decided to call it quit. And now I am on the exit mode from my job and like Bollywood movie's climax scene, its too happening in slow motion. And like inception's cascaded dreams the slow motion in my job has given me ample time to get faster else where. So m on the leap to get into a start up mode. Its a very energetic word "start up". Its keeps you going, gets you thinking and makes you working. So starting up with a start up ain't any easy job but again parenting an infant has its own charm! So its time to pull the sleeves up and get muddy and wrestle with the challenges not so far. So now I have to act like (I mean I am supposed to :P)  I am very careful, result oriented and perfectionist. But again I believe in the power of free will, be it work, be it life! 

Now lets get up and get going!

Truly

Abinash

Dabangg Review

I can see this movie back to back 5 times "darrrrrlinggg tere liye".

Rating : 4.5/5
Director : Abhinav Kashyap
Starring : Salman Khan, Sonakshi Sinha

Typical bollywood movie with all spices in it. A smashing beginning with the muscular hero beating up some gun clad goons to ashes, immediately followed by a song. An item number just in place, a variety of bad guys,  emotional "maa" and a "bedardi" baap and all said a happy ending. Awesome.
The hero is actually a almost-superman jo marta hai na bullet se, na talwar se bas jeet jata hai apni prahaar se. waah waah. Well directed and the music does full justice to the script. The dance steps ensures a great time watching the songs and keeps you restless for the next one. Sallu did a awesome job. Actually every one was perfect in their respective roles. The action sequences were very nicely directed and delivered with perfect machismo. Dialogues amongst the fightings were enough to create a wave of giggles in the theater.

  The script has a group of goons (dakait) just for the sake chulbul (sallu) can beat them up time to time. And each time sallu does so you will love it. With full bollywood drama ( "pandey jee aaj se main aapko sirf papa kahunga" "bhaiyaa maa ko isne tadpa tadpa ke maara") this movie is a delight for any bollywood movie buff. in one word "Awesome". Now don't waste time, go and watch it. Mann balwan, laage chattan, rahe maidan main age...... hudd hudd dabangg  dabangg  dabangg  dabangg......

Truly
Abinash

Ek Sabera roshan fir ayaa

Ek sabera roshan fir ayaa
suraj samundar main dubki leke bahar nikal aya
wo phool patte aur chanchal tittliyaan
wo baagon main khelti hui gilhariyaan

Ek sabera roshan fir ayaa
jharno ki behti dhun saath layaa
wo udte parinde nikalpade asmaan ki aur
wo dharti sajj uthi jaise jashn ka sor

Ek sabera roshan fir ayaa
sunehre kirno ke saath roshni layaa
wo school jate mashoom bachhe
wo khwahishon se bhari din ki suruwat, thode bure thode achhe.

Ek sabera roshan fir ayaa
zindako ko ek naya din dikhlaya.

Truly
Abinash

N.B. Script is in English as any readers can understand yet can not read Hindi.

A morning

A morning, when it starts brings many things with it,
A day, may be sunny,  times its rainy
Bright at times and overcast sometimes.
May brings a hectic overworked target
or it may just becomes a lazy passing day.
It brings good news with it and some bad too.
It brigs friends together and the parting pain as well.
A day brings birth day cakes like it brings empty plates.
Happiness may flow with it, sorrow we must bear too.
Flowers we get many, we must endure a thorn few.
It makes us weak but gives strength for tomorrow
teaches us to smile in deep sorrow.
hearts break with the storm it brings, but true love bond and cling.
A hot day then brings a chilly night, and sweet dreams with it,
it also brings a brighter ray, and we live another day.
A day it may seem, but life is what it makes and reflects
With faith in heart,  lets feel blue
Together with love, lets make us from I and you.

Truly
Abinash

Inception movie review

Movie: Inception
Director & Writer : Christopher Nolan(Of the dark knight fame); Music : Hans Zimmer
Starring : Leonardo Di Caprio, Marrion Cottillard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy
Rating: 4/5

Well, how should a movie about dreams or rather cascade of dream should be like? Interesting? Yes it is. One has to be alert in mind to understand and hence appreciate it though. Its about a series of dreams, dreams inside dreams and plantation of ideas in the subconscious of others and the adventures involved in doing so. The first half is almost spent in building up the plot and explaining the idea. So the first half is little slow paces and ain't as interesting. The totem as explained in the first half summaries the movie later at the climax in a surprisingly interesting way, keeping you anticipate.subtle use of physics here and there is well presented.
But a few not so interesting and explanation lacking parts just merely added to the spiderweb. The ability of Decaprio's dead wife to intervene in some one else's dream, the inability to come back if dead when sedated etc. But they had to made it look as plausible as possible and yet to make it intrigue so I guess that will not create much trouble unless some one invests too much of thoughts into it. The parallel movement of many plots is handled very nicely and crafted very exquisitely into one smart point. Characters are not built up pretty nicely to leave a memory for post movie discussions. Dialogues could have been improved. But to summarize, its a nice movie, awesome concept and well thought plots. Worths a watch and worths a hearty appreciation.

If I were the director: I would have fast tracked the first half too. Instead of explaining the concept theoretically, a small adventurous drill could have been planted in the first half. Dialogues should have been well written in relevance of the complex concept. There ain't really any dialogue that I remember.

Truly
Abiansh

The Dhol which was never noticed

Being deaf to outside world sometimes makes you feel joyful. While appreciating the amazing beats of punjabi dhol, with enhanced calrity by the sophisticated HP ear phones, I leaped into the past where I heard it first. The beats, that thousand others are appreciating like me, are actually not a new creation. They have always existed. Now they are staged, converted into video with pretty girls and made compatible to work with face book or the iPOD. This make me brood over the past where I heard it first.
We called it "Daang Chadha" back in my place. Its a form of Indian art, a gymnastic actually. with rope tied onto two bamboob pillars and perfectly balanced with all laws of mechanics satisfied, a tiny girl would walk over it, on a cycle rim, balancing herself with just a stick. With the beats of the Dhol, she would bounce at times. The same beats, I now enjoy with the luxuary of a computer and air conditioner and choose to call it "awesome". The street gymnast would make a living out of it, degree of earning depends on the generosity of the crowd. And then they move to a different locality. No one in the crowd back then appreciated this dhol though. Its the less adventurous and more riskful journey that girl fetched the fractional india currencies, now obsolete. And now when we have a "sense-of-appreciation" the art form is almost on the verge of extinction. The calibre went uncapitalized, the music went un-marketed. The street gymnasts melted away with the obsolescence of those tiny currencies which made them their living.

Now when I go home, I don't hear that dhol anymore to feel excited about and compete to be a part of the front row crowd, but I do see banners of highly paid rather mediocre artists performing. Strange country India is. And we just made ourselves a little more stranger to it.

P.S. Today India is excited about having given a symbol to the currency, but never realizing that its time to give India a symbol, thats beyond the nation emblem. The strength of India lies in the fact that its strange and every bit is different than the other. Just that we need to appreciate them, stage them, market them and give them a symbol.

Truly
Abinash

Coast to coast (Coast II Coast) - A review

What makes a good meal? A tasteful treat for the taste buds right. But what makes a great eat out experience is far more than a good meal. Thats exactly where coast to coast restaurant fails miserably!

Review:

Food: Excellent
Service: Pathetic, poor, hopeless, piteous
Courteousness of staff: Rude, misbehaving, impatient and they will make you regret your decision of choosing this restaurant.
Ambiance: Good
Over all experience: Poor

This is about the Coast to coast restaurant in Koramangala, Bangalore.
They have a bigger branch at MG Road and that is surprisingly much better than this.

Detail review:
The variety of sea food and chicken is a sure delight for any seafood lover. This certainly is going to make you feel wow!
Specially the Pomfret masala, Angel Tawa fry, Silver fish rava fry with Chicken Ghee roast and appam or neer dosa.

So far so good, but once they guy come in to take orders the experience turns out to be horrible. They make you feel as if the meal they serve is free. And if you are in big number say 4-5 than that may get you a seat immediately otherwise they make you wait for 30 minutes though 3, 6 seater tables lay free.

If its the MG road branch its a two thumbs up, if its koramangala, 4 thumbs down.

Truly
Abinash

Random Idea again

Ever thought why the real estate business gives exponential returns? And what is the essence of real estate business?
Its the futuristic value of the rather constant and invariable property. The property does not grow as such, it continues to stay where it is. What grows is the business, civilization and demand around it. Hence it becomes a shout after place at a high rate.

Now coming to the idea. Whats the real estate in the web world?? In web all we have is a browser to surf the infinite space of data cloud. We build website and web applications for that and like real estate we have got an address for them too! Wow. That means the address is the value identifier.

Why can't we buy domain names that may be of interest in future for the bigger players to suit their business essence or self explanatory domain names to make a particular business idea identified? We can. and we can buy them now and keep them and later can put them up for auction as and when the business of similar essence starts catching up!

All about becoming a web realtor!

Truly
Abinash

Just a Random Idea - Laptop cell phone

I was watching a movie on my laptop and I had set my cell phone on charge in the other room. When I saw the phone, it had 5 missed calls! May be the movie was just too addictive but why at all this has to happen? Why can't we have a cell phone in my laptop? probably when I am not using my laptop even then? Like we can put the laptop in to sleep or hibernate, we can have a simple software to take care of it when the laptop is on and there might be a small mode called phone more where the battery will cater to the phone processor may be? And a small display to use the laptop as phone when its not on and may be a software display panel as cell phone display when its on. Why not? Well we can refine the usability and extensibility further. But to take it further as a business idea can you see some unrealizable challenges? I don't.

Truly
Abinash

Autopsy of a meeting

Ah, recently I attended a meeting where concerns were (supposed to be) addressed.
But I will make a generic analysis of such meeting before moving to make it specific.

What actually the statistics like employee survey or company policies reveal?
Ok, we will take an instance of any employee satisfaction survey and how the management plans to handle the good and no so good results.
1.
An employees perspective of the survey:
Its anonymous, so if I have any frustration, complex or complain I would rather express myself generously.

Managements response:
But we do conduct personal meeting with employees and we encourage freedom of expression so ideally the employee should do that upfront as and when need be.

Reality's take on it:
Its a human attitude to be timid, pretentious and introvert. Most of the people will rather keep quite then to stand up and speaks (Specially in India other wise some mediocre politician could never out speak us to be voted).

2.
An employees perspective of the survey:
If something is bad I must make it look worse, may be then they will consider it seriously.

Managements response:
All the employee response are facts so lets address them in a meeting and get first hand account whats wrong.

Reality's take on it:
The employee made the bad look worse anonymously, will he not make the bad look good when its public? I lier remains a lier. No meeting can fetch you clear data.

Now what happens in the meeting:
The employees never take these meetings seriously. Cause they manage to hide themselves behind a mass and hence feeling secure. For them its another meeting where issues will be just discussed. Cause they never revealed the root cause. So they know the management just knows anything but the real reason.

(Reality is the survey needs to be changed. Satisfaction is not objective. It cant be answered in binary. Satisfaction is subjective, there is always a degree or extent involved in it. They fundamental flaw is when they ask if you are satisfied under different norms, they actually are not interested in knowing the real reason. The attempt is to bias the answer in an indirect way to suit to the picture we want them to be projected in. Hence the real concern remains under the hood.)

The management equipped with wrong (mostly exaggerated) data start a rather wrong analysis in a failed attempt to zero in on the real cause. Hence the disinterested employees look blank through out the meeting and when they come out they have not reduced but added to the woes.

Specific scenario:

Compensation related: The management declares we are competitive as per the last survey. and there is no problem.

Employees psychology: A person unlike prefers to work against the law of gravity. They don't intend to leap from high ground to lower. They intend to or aspire to leap from high to higher ground. The salary of a same category company can never satisfy one after a while for the simple reason they don't aspire to go there. But they aspire to go to the ones considered higher to the one they are in. So may be marginally but being a little ahead in terms of salary from the peer or competitor just to be above the current bracket and create a category of own will never hurt but add to the company reputation, satisfaction and other parameters involved for the delivery.

Sense of accomplishment: This is something really specific to one instance. The management always is driven by statistics cause statistic is supposed to be fact and figure. Not always. (You can't apply statistic to gauge the average depth of a river to decide whether you can cross it. Mostly you will drown your self. And may be thats why we have so many (in)famous jokes about statisticians.)
There are ground reality that statistician not project. A human mind is complex thing, pie chat and histograms can't represent it.

When taking a fierce decision of changing the technology facts beyond assumptions were never taken into consideration. The training need, the creation and substantiation of new job profile. the migration of product was planed but migration of employee psychology was not. Migration and road map for deliveries were planned but new road maps of opportunities were never discussed.
Change of technology is like changing a home. The fact "Its takes time to prepare the same delicate Biriyani flavor in a new kitchen" was neglected. NO training formal or otherwise were planned. The domain people had mastered over years was altered and represented in a different manner which looked like a generation gap. The involuntary first reaction to change that any man can give is "reluctance" and avoidance.
The people who had a reputation who had a knowledge base built over quite a period of time were not able to accept the change like nothing happened. In the battle to protect their self and public image and now the reality of being unable to cope to new changes they floundered and they floundered hard. This frustration creep in to every where. Cause it becomes a preoccupation to defend "what I was" and accepting or building "what I am". You had been a performer but you don't see yourself anymore to be. Cause what now you are in is completely new. And you dont have any time for making yourself feel home, feel comfortable.

Comparison to other lines: Not comparable. Juxtaposing facts to make something look prettier is stupidity. To show a straight line bigger you can just draw line smaller to it. All you can achieve by it is illusion.

Some is worse, thank god I am just bad. Its a sense of complacency. Which this industry discard of. Isn't it? So you cant infest that sense of being better just by arguing some one else if worse.

After all the presenter was heard mistakenly saying: "Actually this is the only thing where do really do not discriminate" (among lines). :D

The solution is:
1. get the survey conducted to capture real reasons.
2. make it clear to the people where they are heading for.
3. Everyone loves to see himself as a champion, do tell them that the did a good job and they are capable of doing even better.
4. If some once can run 10km, that never means every one can or have to. There are people who can't run yet swim for 20 km. We need to understand every one is different.
5. Give the employee space and time to settle down to freeze to his/her comfort level before saying come on get of the mark.
6. Sense of insecurity is good, even in relations to keep things healthy but sense of obscurity is never. Have things transparent.

Truly
Abinash