Consciousness as I perceive it

As a kid I was always fascinated by almost everything I saw. I wanted many of them. After a long day when I go to bed I used to dream, dream of  thoughts coming form real experiences from day mixed with the imaginations I could possibly make. It was always reality till I wake up to the reality in the morning in a confused mind. It comes over like a infinite loop of thoughts.
                                Consciousness is one of the most fascinating and abstruse topics out there. Am I not conscious when I am deep in sleep dreaming? Or am I not conscious when I am so focused that am not able to hear the loud music playing next to me? Consciousness has been described by philosophers and lately by scientists to be a mental state of awareness of the surrounding, the connection our brain has with the information it has at that given moment and the perception it generates from it. Correct they are, may be. Religion has a different take, they relate it to the hidden power every human has in their body, when a human body becomes aware of this power and the power hence rises to the highest position a man becomes conscious universally, and he is the one called the conscious man.
                                Consciousness as neurologists describe it is a process of action and transmission mechanism by the billions of neuron in the brain achieved through synapses. I agree. But the neurons in our brain are connected with 6 senses and generates a set of information from it. Taking the brain from one state to another every fraction of second. The eyes, ears, touch, smell, taste and sense of feeling (cold, heat, fear, instinct etc). These senses gives data to the brain and brain generates information from it for us to have a unique perception varying by the state of brain we are in while we do the processing. The perception not necessarily be in the realm of reality it can actually be an illusion. Let us say I am confined in a room and the room walls are transparent enough that I might not be ever able to perceive the wall until I crash into it. But given that the room is sufficiently large, I would rather not crash into it. Nor I will even try to cause I am unaware of it in my present consciousness. The world might be a same case. We are bound by the play of Maaya. Never aware that we are confined in it. Never trying to cross pass it and enlarge our awareness into the reality beyond the walls. There is a connection between every element in the universe. They all came to being from nothingness. And are made up from the very same fundamental particles. Every object in the universe is a metamorphosis of the very fabric of the space time in the universe. So how can there is not a connection? This when we take a billion light years top view will be nothing but a network similar to what we have in our brains! A network of all the objects in the universe but each hidden from other with in a realm of virtuality as explained in the confined room example above. Only the objects beyond their respective walls are connected in this supreme and infinite network of information and aware of every thing in the universe. The present state, the past it was in and the future it might ever be in. The play of Maaya is then broken and these objects become conscious. the closest we can ever be to beat this play of Maaya is in a human.
                                            Physics has laid down laws saying information is never lost in the universe. The other laws of physics as it says neither the energy is ever lost, its just transformed from one state to other. But once this conversation complete where is the information of the past state? Where is the information what happened during the transformation? This is not lost cause the whole system is connected like neural network and its stored in the universal consciousness. We can always be aware of such a thing and retract mathematically to see the possibility of the earlier state. The surety can only come when we are connected to the infinite universal consciousness. Once connected we would never need history to be written ever! One day when we live long enough we might have mathematical proof for the presence of this boundary, the Maaya. and may be that day we will take our stride to live beyond the wall. But for me we all are but living in an illusion in a realm too small, in a confined cell.

P.S. A more technically detailed article(analogy with fractals, evolution of the universe and the significance of black holes with information theory and how it effects the entropy of the universe) I have written but for readers convenient have not posted that. Interested reads can leave a comment and I would share it with them.

Truly
Abinash

How Chetan Bhagat got from "kicked on ass" to "kick-ass": A take on Indianness

India is a vast nation, indeed like the universe. Negligible substance and substantial emptiness! Just so friendly that any sound made will be echoed. And we the Indian? Aah.. we have vitiated ourselves to such a stance that if a sound is made potentially it is presented as noise then considered chaos and it plays havoc! Our heroes are different than the rest of the world. We believes in miracles, we trust in word more than actions (unless it is on silver screen), we are the only channel where sound travels faster than light! Really trust me. Lets do a case study of it by taking the Chetan bhag example. You all know him, don't you?
                               Chetan bhagat writes a "crap" book called five point someone (come one count how many times he has used 'crap' in it then call me wrong) and it rides on the middle class dream of IITs and IIMs to hit the best seller stand. Now we the middle class are actually literally middle class. Like middle finger, middle body part, middle of the road (the divider), middle of no where and middle of a gay island, we the middle class are here just to symbolize "fucked up" things. So how could we ever miss out on some thing like one night at call center and three mistakes of my life which are so fucked up already! We made them an instant hit. So now this guy Mr. Bhagat was considered the best writer ever in his own right or rather rite. He being a investment banker earlier how could he miss on such an opportunity to ride the tide. He made controversies when ever possible and where ever possible. Whats most frustrating is the recent fiasco on NRN's comment. He is a man who gave Indian software industry a new definition,  he made a comment on IITs, a personal opinion. The guy equipped with the sensing capabilities of a dog, pokes his nose and makes an outrageous comment. Then comes the indian media. They have the capabilities of a diarrhea-ed buffalo herd to make the whole place shitty. And they did exactly that! Look at the home page of CNN-IBN

NRN essentially made a sound, a personal sound. Mr. Bhagat made it a loud noise and the media now makes it a chaos! So indigenous an art we have!  Bhagat's argument is NRN should understand it might hurt people even if you speak the truth! Now what the heck that means on earth? And where is that "sense-of-restraint-for-not-hurting" when he calls a 1.5 Lakh populous company a 'body shop'. May be body shop means the same as consulting outsourcing but had they been really same we would not call pussy as vagina. I don't want to take a communication course for Mr. writer. NRN said what he felt and he told in a polite and formal manner. Even myself before making a statement like Mr. Bhagat would think twice what my parents taught me "bolne se pehle kuch nahin to umra ka lihaaz kiya karo". But my real frustration is not with Mr. Bhagat actually. Its with the media. Yaar kya hogaya tumko? I mean, how can that be a headline for a day "Bhagat not sorry for calling infy a bodyshop". Now who cares if he is sorry or not. Who cares really? He being sorry wont make Infy a 100 billion dollar company neither that will make India shining in reality, but yes it can certainly make his next to be published "crap" an instant hit. He got what he wanted. The media got what it wanted. Murthy takes home frustration and we take home a more foolish us!

On seriousness, laziness and happiness

Disclaimer: This is like a preachy note from second paragraph, don't read if you hate them :D

I have always been lame. More because I am too lazy to try and understand things. I am happy in my own den. Lately I do not tend to pick discussion/argument and I choose to ignore anything that is not humorous or vulgar. I have lost that conspicuous desire to be taken notice of and the oozing dream of being looked at by every other girl. They seem boring now. I enjoy just sitting with a void mind, my back resting on the couch, head thrown back. Not even willing to fantasize I rather choose to listen to people and laugh about it on my own. I was told I must be serious, its serious discussion, I just can't laugh like that.
My mind rushed back in time till my childhood, its not new that I am being asked to be attentive for a "serious" discussion. It has always been the case with me. After puting a lot of load on my grey matter I could finally understand what is classified as a serious issue. Let's bullet them down:

• Anything that can result in loss or profit of money
• Anything that can result in win or loss of "image" you carry
• Anything that can result in increase or decrease in age
• Anything that goes against the self interest

All of these point revolve around one central point and that is "defending your self interest". Nobody is exactly the person every one else thinks him to be. Including his parents/spouse. But he spends his life defending that perception which varies from each person to the other, quite an engaging job isn't it? Engaging enough to comsume a lifetime! After a particular age, does it matter if you live 10 years more or 10 years less? To me it does not. self interest changes with time, age, context, mood and accessibility so a lot of variable factors attached. Can not spend time brooding over somthing so unstable. Aspirations, ambitions, award, reward all fall under it. Brain is an amzing machine you remember those moments from past when you were not "so serious" about it. Cause those moments made you ecstatic.
In reality there ain't anything called as a serious thing, everythying is as nonsensical as any other. Life is like a F1 race, all you have to do is take a seat, fast the seat belt and enjoy the ride! If you concentrate too much on the drift, gear, clutch, tuning and winning you lose all the beauty and fun. Cause it does not matter if you end top or bottom or not even complete the journey. Wht matters and true is 'it ends anyway' with or with out you.

Truly
Abinash

The black holes and Life: Are we real?

A black hole as it has turned out to be is an object in space with say infinite gravitational force and exhibits singularity at its center. Singularity is a mystery in the current scientific realm. All we know about it is, its a phenomena where all known law of physics, space and time break down. Matter vanishes, and time ends. Now from Einstein's general theory of relativity it comes as a fact that universe is a fabric of space and time. Upon this fabric gravity has a wrapping effect. That means two gravitational monster can connect to each other through their centers and make travel possible between two point in the universe which apparently would have been impossible otherwise. So if we think we can develop such technology and science some time far in future to sustain through the event horizon of  a black hole and travel almost at the speed of flight, then we might as well make it possible to travel the universe end to end in a single life time. This may require twisting the space time fabric over the dimensions oblivious to our observation. But with time man either can become aware of further dimensions after the evolution of human brain naturally over a long enough time or man can device ways to do it with scientific technology. Either way it will certainly become possible.
                        And obviously time will be squeezed. Like time is nothing but a sense of changing states. When we had no jet planes we took the slow roadways to reach from a source to destination and that might require say a day long journey. Our presentation over space and time graph took a longer value in time for the same displacement in space. Now it might just take an hour for the same displacement. We can think of it as being time has been prolonged for us as we now can observe more states in space in the a given span of time. So if we continue to make this transition faster and faster enough we can actually live as much life we do now in just one day. It essentially becomes equivalent to as if a day for a man in that future time will be like a life time for us  (Here I have assumed life to be a set of experiences of transitions from one state to another). A man in future can actually theoretically squeeze space over a smaller span of time and if the trend continues its actually possible that some day in future man can travel seamlessly between ant part of the space over a very infinitesimally small time. Almost like a man appearing at many places at the same instance.

                          All these are possible when man can master the science of delving into the center of a Blackhole , cross the singularity and resurrect himself again. As we learn the most fundamental foundation of physics is: information is always preserved. Matter loses it's form as time may pass but the information is always preserved in the building blocks of the matter. A black hole is nothing but a collection of infinite energy and matter, infinite amount of information. A man who can cross the singularity can actually recreate anything, just anything by using that information stored in the black hole. Hence a man in future can actually recreate a world that we call our present.
                            Now coming to the main point I wanted to make here. All these scientific explanations written above are a deliberation to prove what we chose to call as God and miracles. It leads me to think of two possibilities.
1. Else where in the universe life was created much before than on earth: (below points are two possibilities form this main assumption)
    1.1 Else where in the universe life was created much before than on earth, millions or thousands of years prior to the creation of life on earth. at such a time that at present the man in that world are evolved enough to adhere to the powers and properties described above. And in reality life was never created on earth actually. Earth would become just a recreation of the information of the past of that world. Like a prototype earth exists, in their illusion and our reality. In reality we are non existent in the current universe. We are just a set of reconstructed model, illusions in the current real universe.
     1.2 We are real. And we are governed by those advanced creatures who took birth and evolved much before us.We might just be living a world governed by them. And they exhibit the qualities as described above scientifically.so we consider them as "God". And some day we might as well reach that level of intelligence and govern another world as being god ourselves.
      1.3 We are robots. Programmed by them. Living in their design. One of the most extraordinary design. We are fake creatures of their will. Our thoughts, future, every choice we make is predefined and well programmed. Our fate is predetermined. We are here just to be terminated after execution like any other computer program.

2. We are the only creature in the universe:
that way some day will come  where some one else will be writing a same blog and we will be the advanced creature in the point above.

For me its more like we are living some one else's dream world.

Truly
Abinash

And four years have passed....

It was not funny. I landed on Bangalore not being airborne but from a second class sleeper coach of a roaring Indian railway express. Krishnaraj Puram it read. Overcast it was, looked rather gloomy. Clinging to my VIP Alfa small suitcase and an MRF emblemed brown  air bag I took a deep breath of the moist air. Anxiety was overwhelming as I could remember it now. Crowd rushing down the platform, people hurling greetings at each other, laughter, the hawker's yell all dissolved slowly into the air. My anxiety grew, suddenly I caught myself stranded amongst unknown faces, unknown land and unknown language. Restless eyes searched for the guy, promised me to see me on the platform. I was clueless where to go. My asset included an SBI atm card with 5000/- rupees in it and books, many of them. My restless eyes struck to a distant face and it brought me smile, a real satisfying smile of relief, joy. It was the guy who was to see me. Riding onto my first BMTC experience in a crowed bus he asked, "so how do you feel at the first sigtht?". It was like a convoy of bmtc buses for me, one after another staked on. I snapped "sad". Indeed it was. I hated the overcast weather, noise, crowd, big buses, heavy traffic. It was for my first experience in any metro city. We started walking towards the house from the bus stop, its near by just 2 km he would say. Crossed level crossing, fields, muddy roads and body almost gave in to the weight of the bags. Finally the 3rd floor 1bhk apartment was at sight. I smiled again. With relief.
It was soon dusk and I was led to the 'bakery'. Bun samosa he ordered. I felt its luxurious here. Bun samosa was a luxury for me. Took a look around, it whole sight was filled with young people most of them like me had come to take a bet on the future. A job in IT. It did not took me long neither to get used to the two kilometer walk down the mud till the bus stop nor hating the bun samosa I considered luxury. Time flew and luck was considerably benevolent on me. I had won the bet. Got a job before runing out of the 5000/- rupees, the only sum I had and would have.
                   Four years have passed since then. And I have fallen in love with city again and again every time I tried to break off. The charm holds you in her arms and you feel engulfed in her lust. Now I seldom take that train, I get airborne. Now I seldom take the bus, I hire cabs. Now I seldom eat bun samosa, I devour sizzler, now I seldom hate the overcast weather, I love it.
     This city has given me luck, charm, love, tears, smiles, friends and above all an identity. A respect in the society and a voice of my own. She has strewed joy on me. Now when I leave her behind the four years play before my eyes. Play in slow motion for me to realize that each sight was indeed a scene and I gulp it down my soul. I smile at her and she smiles back at me. She does not complain, does not demand. She just awaits for a new lover. Love you Bangalore.

P.S. As I am leaving Bangalore for Hyderabad, I must acknowledge the love bestowed on me. Thanks to every one.

Truly
Abinash

Why I hate Shahrukh Khan

Shahrukh Khan and I share a bad old relation and it goes back to the time of his movies like "Raju bangaya gentleman". It was the first movie I watched in a theater. And I slept to loose my floaters. Now so many years have passed since then and every year infallibly Shahrukh added some more reasons to make him more loathsome to me.  The reasons are (not in the order of precedence, they are randomly placed )

• He is the only creature who sounds like a goat, but never tastes like one.
• He got into cricket, to make the neat place where a four was cheered with hooting, converted to goating... heyyyyyy......  foooouuurrrrrrr haaaaaaannn......
• He dared to drop Dada!
• He is a liar, even after being made legal, he did not come out in public to accept his relation with Karan Johar.
• He is the protagonist in Rabne Banadi Jodi
• All the people I hate Love Shahrukh Khan, so my hate for him is just Transitivity of Mathematics
• His film, My name is Khan and I am a fatuu never got released.
• Human rights and environmentalists should sue him, he has sucha  big nose he consumes as much as 3 times more oxygen, hence making two people die being breathless some where. 
• The girls I like, like Shahrukh khan instead, cause they find him homogeneous. 
• Once I wore a t-shirt with his name printed and I was chased by dogs.
• Personal Reasons. :D

Many reasons.. so many that my  blogger space will be reaching its limits. 

That thing called - Career

As far back I can remember I can recall this word - "career". It has always been there, like a shadow. When I grew up as a kid dusting my heavily mudded half pants all I could understand from this word was the very own career (meant to carry) on bicycles, often sticking to the rear end just above the mud guard. But as soon as I started recognizing the English Alphabets at class 5, the definition changed. I would heard of it very often and mostly with a serious and heavy tone attached to it. Must be a big thing I would wonder. As a kid I was told I was bright, bright in school. I used to feel happy with that appreciation and motivated at times. For me school was just fun, nothing more, nothing less. I had no interest in those thin books (booklets?) nor in the maadams (didis) who terrorized the class with sticks. But I was told I must top the scholarship exams since class 3. It was considered prestigious. My mom would teach me and she taught me well. I topped then. I would over hear, Sibun has a good career. He will do well in career. I would feel happy, and take pride among my school mates. 

I grew up a little more joined a boy's high school, The class teacher told good career should be the only motto of our life and he would spend the class boasting about how his eldest son is a senior Police inspector and youngest son is a doctor. It was boring, I hated coming to school. But then i was supposed to build good career. My intrinsic desires paved way to extrinsic decisions imposed on me. I had to top the class seventh scholarship exam, its a district level exam after all. Topping it would mean I am best in the district. I did. I was immeasurably happy. Teaches appreciated and relatives congratulated. I was in highschool. I moved to class 8th. My class teacher was a mathematics teacher he would love me and often say I do good in maths, he used to humiliate my fellow classmates citing my example how I solved it and how they could not. I felt happier. I was sadist. It harmed their "career" and it harmed mine too. I was discussed among my highschool teaches that I will have a good career. I grew up little more older. Now I was the fore speaker of this word. I was in my intermediate college. I loved Physics, but I loved cricket and my adolescent psychology more than physics. But I hated everything else, the maths to chemistry. I was told to prepare for IIT. But by then I was beginning to have my own set of likes dislikes and decisions. I played cricket and more cricket. I would feel an unusual attraction towards girls, many fantasies would come to the mind. And I did what I liked then, playing more cricket. I felt happier to hit a boundary and not to solve a problem from mathematics. I decided I will have a career in cricket. But they was but a bubble. It busted with out noise. I did not go to IIT and I joined a rather "not so good" college. I was told I don't have career now. And my career is dim lit. I was rebuked, by the same who once assured I have a bright career. But what was my fault? I just did not appreciated and enjoyed reading the Russian Author text books. So career is a variant in the reaction of life, I learnt. I was in the final year of engineering when the placements began. I was told I would be the first to get a job by my professors. They were wrong. But this time I did not smile or felt happy when they said so cause I had understood the fallacy of the word "career". Right then a new definition was entered to my own lexicon by the visiting companies. Career is 60% in all boards. And once placed, just any guy with any company with a headcount of lakhs and salary calculated in terms of "per annum", was told he is bright, has a good career. Appreciation flooded to each of such person who was placed in those interviews saying what a bright career they have. And everyone was enriched with satisfaction that he achieved  he target, the "career". Job done. 

                              I am no different. I am part of that crowd, timid, coward, craving all life long for getting a social nod for identity and Majorly mediocre. All the life long we sacrificed our fun in childhood, the desire to explore in the highschool, the sense of freedom in junior college and the power to learn in graduation to achieve this one thing? A face less few kilo over weight "another guy" in the crowd thousand. The definition of career started with district level scholarship exam, ran thru iit preparation, ended with a final definition of 60% in boards and a job letter to be lost in the masses. All career long, this thing called career has taken everything. And now its taking even more when you go to office on Monday morning and the boss snaps on your face "don't you want a good career? if you really want start being proactive and finish things over weekend". Is career ne leli yaar humari to.