That thing called - Career

As far back I can remember I can recall this word - "career". It has always been there, like a shadow. When I grew up as a kid dusting my heavily mudded half pants all I could understand from this word was the very own career (meant to carry) on bicycles, often sticking to the rear end just above the mud guard. But as soon as I started recognizing the English Alphabets at class 5, the definition changed. I would heard of it very often and mostly with a serious and heavy tone attached to it. Must be a big thing I would wonder. As a kid I was told I was bright, bright in school. I used to feel happy with that appreciation and motivated at times. For me school was just fun, nothing more, nothing less. I had no interest in those thin books (booklets?) nor in the maadams (didis) who terrorized the class with sticks. But I was told I must top the scholarship exams since class 3. It was considered prestigious. My mom would teach me and she taught me well. I topped then. I would over hear, Sibun has a good career. He will do well in career. I would feel happy, and take pride among my school mates. 

I grew up a little more joined a boy's high school, The class teacher told good career should be the only motto of our life and he would spend the class boasting about how his eldest son is a senior Police inspector and youngest son is a doctor. It was boring, I hated coming to school. But then i was supposed to build good career. My intrinsic desires paved way to extrinsic decisions imposed on me. I had to top the class seventh scholarship exam, its a district level exam after all. Topping it would mean I am best in the district. I did. I was immeasurably happy. Teaches appreciated and relatives congratulated. I was in highschool. I moved to class 8th. My class teacher was a mathematics teacher he would love me and often say I do good in maths, he used to humiliate my fellow classmates citing my example how I solved it and how they could not. I felt happier. I was sadist. It harmed their "career" and it harmed mine too. I was discussed among my highschool teaches that I will have a good career. I grew up little more older. Now I was the fore speaker of this word. I was in my intermediate college. I loved Physics, but I loved cricket and my adolescent psychology more than physics. But I hated everything else, the maths to chemistry. I was told to prepare for IIT. But by then I was beginning to have my own set of likes dislikes and decisions. I played cricket and more cricket. I would feel an unusual attraction towards girls, many fantasies would come to the mind. And I did what I liked then, playing more cricket. I felt happier to hit a boundary and not to solve a problem from mathematics. I decided I will have a career in cricket. But they was but a bubble. It busted with out noise. I did not go to IIT and I joined a rather "not so good" college. I was told I don't have career now. And my career is dim lit. I was rebuked, by the same who once assured I have a bright career. But what was my fault? I just did not appreciated and enjoyed reading the Russian Author text books. So career is a variant in the reaction of life, I learnt. I was in the final year of engineering when the placements began. I was told I would be the first to get a job by my professors. They were wrong. But this time I did not smile or felt happy when they said so cause I had understood the fallacy of the word "career". Right then a new definition was entered to my own lexicon by the visiting companies. Career is 60% in all boards. And once placed, just any guy with any company with a headcount of lakhs and salary calculated in terms of "per annum", was told he is bright, has a good career. Appreciation flooded to each of such person who was placed in those interviews saying what a bright career they have. And everyone was enriched with satisfaction that he achieved  he target, the "career". Job done. 

                              I am no different. I am part of that crowd, timid, coward, craving all life long for getting a social nod for identity and Majorly mediocre. All the life long we sacrificed our fun in childhood, the desire to explore in the highschool, the sense of freedom in junior college and the power to learn in graduation to achieve this one thing? A face less few kilo over weight "another guy" in the crowd thousand. The definition of career started with district level scholarship exam, ran thru iit preparation, ended with a final definition of 60% in boards and a job letter to be lost in the masses. All career long, this thing called career has taken everything. And now its taking even more when you go to office on Monday morning and the boss snaps on your face "don't you want a good career? if you really want start being proactive and finish things over weekend". Is career ne leli yaar humari to.