Feeling Blue....

Its the rythem. Its the sound of my heart beat and the fluent movement of my agile fingers on the black key board. Then their is the sound of the wind and the CPU fan. All are well timed, well synchronised and well formed. They made sense and I wondered how I never noticed it. These are the sounds close to me that I don't share with anyone. These are more pleasing than the six strings. Then the current goes out and the only thing glowing the whole area ia my computer and my glowing face with the reflection. My slow movement of my eyes, not coherent with the thought. The mind is thinking something, the heart demands something and the eyes are stuck to something else, all are randomly set. BUt there is a common cord, all are mine. I feel the proud, I feel the ineer glow. I got up from the seat making the number of B'Adams more audible. I walked directly to the window moving my face rythemically with the danglling window screen, like a wave in the wind, the slow soothing wind. I breathed deeply once and smiled, the smile was necessary I thought. In fact the smile was the only thing necessary at that moving, more needed than my breath. I could feel it. Then my long fingers involuntaryly went up to touch my eyes as if the new born wonders to see the action of its hands. My incoherent thoughts assembled and I jumped back. I felt a strong desire to cry and laugh. I wanted to be crazy as crazy as I am .
I was standing alone like the lost jigsaw puzzle of a single piece set. I liked watching my mobile. Willing it to ring. I thought I've broken words and hearts of course And absolutely no remorse! I struggled to make my thought ryme. Its a habit I thought this breaking things and needless rhyme now that I thought I almost had it there. Bang it goes and stops that flow fine! The current was back and with my eyes semiclosed in pain of light. The sudden leap from the dark to light was intolerable. Then I thought I am intolerant but I always wanted to be. I wanted to be cared, being the point of discussion, being loved and mostly to be social, which I am not.

Truly
Abinash.