She was looking straight into my eyes, motionless and wordless. The dark face, though surprisingly calm and beautiful, the tiny body naked except for the worn out small skirt, the swinging hands more like a pendulum as if the body is too weak to carry them. The hairs scattered and untidy, brown and uncombed, dry and unoiled, dead and dusty. She stood there with the distended belly emerging out of the small torso, encrusted nose. The face carried mark from all over the time speaking of their own saga. One she might have got collecting plastic in the garbage bin. The other below the right eye she might have got while running to avoid the barking mad dog. The encrusted wounds she might have got a thousand times. But she stood there with a faint smile. The marks speaks of her suffering and undefined and uncared pain. But she stands their with an innocence still intact, dreams still preserved and the unseen hope. She is too small to understand the politics of living world but surely she understands the morning sun, the evening moon and the chilly wind. may be thats why she still stands there looking straight into the eyes, with the anticipation she is ceased of.
P.S. Yesterday while returning home from office took a stop in a store to buy a Pulpy Orange beverage drink. And I found her standing near a drain and looking at me. I was confounded and and I confusingly but with conviction gave her the pulpy orange, reluctantly she accepted and stayed still looking at me. :)
Truly
Abinash
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
मौत आती है पर नहीं आती
कोई उम्मीद बर नहीं आती
कोई सूरत नज़र नहीं आती
मौत का एक दिन मु`अय्यन है
नींद क्यूं रात भर नहीं आती
क्यूं न चीख़ूं कि याद कर्ते हैं
मिरी आवाज़ गर नहीं आती
हम वहां हैं जहां से हम को भी
कुछ हमारी ख़बर नहीं आती
मर्ते हैं आर्ज़ू में मर्ने की
मौत आती है पर नहीं आती
क`बे किस मुंह से जाओगे ग़ालिब
शर्म तुम को मगर नहीं आती
* Courtesy The Legendary Mirza Galib
कोई सूरत नज़र नहीं आती
मौत का एक दिन मु`अय्यन है
नींद क्यूं रात भर नहीं आती
क्यूं न चीख़ूं कि याद कर्ते हैं
मिरी आवाज़ गर नहीं आती
हम वहां हैं जहां से हम को भी
कुछ हमारी ख़बर नहीं आती
मर्ते हैं आर्ज़ू में मर्ने की
मौत आती है पर नहीं आती
क`बे किस मुंह से जाओगे ग़ालिब
शर्म तुम को मगर नहीं आती
* Courtesy The Legendary Mirza Galib
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Frustration's medicine - Marriage
Yesterday I met one of my friends (not exactly more of an acquaintance than a friend). Quite surprisingly she was excited to see me! After exchanging formal greetings I happened to ask so whats new? "When are to getting married?". "In june." :P I was taken a back. I just asked that as I didnt have have anything else to ask. Now she says she is really getting married. I banged on the target all by chance. I said so "you got the perfect man, eh?" "I don't know" she responded. Its an arrange marriage. I was surprised again. she used to be the one who scorns arrange marriage and a devotee of so called love marriage. Now its she before me proclaiming her marriage in an arranged manner. I said "but you never wanted to get a guy "arranged" for you?" Yeah but you see its the perfect age to get married and you should. But does there a perfect age for something? I mean its about the guy you gonna spend the rest of your life(at least supposed to) and how come you can decide on something so important on the sheer basis of age? "Its the time a girl must get married." My thought its not the right time you are talking about getting married you are talking about girl. You are really really pissed off being single and not getting the TDH, guy with attitude. Its that you are now restless with the inner desire to lose the tag of virginity. You want to sleep with a man ain't u.I told her "is it that you are really want to get married just that you feel its the age?" She was uncomfortable with question and the friendly disposition changed instantly. That revealed it all. Its not the age its the desire. Its no more like, I am want to have sex as I am married. Its like I want to be married as I want to have sex. Even I want to sleep with a girl but just that I have not put it so high on my list of priority and desires, so am not desperate to get married just to sleep and no more be single and frustrated
I am He
The sun was fading-in paving way for the half lit moon. The whole world seemed to be dying in with the dying sun.
The moon was taking over sun and the darkness over light. The wind too changed the direction so as the birds. I was standing on the edge of the day where it was not going to end but begin the next morning. Arms spread out to embrace the scent that the soothing wind would bring with it. Like a man who know himself I stood there with the definite indifference, unprecedented. And then I asked "Who am I". And I got the reassuring answer "I am Him". Looking directly the moons and the millions of sparkling stars into the eyes, I could realize my nonexistence. Gravity seems to be broken and with it the fear of falling, falling of weight, falling with time, falling in life. The whole world was a theme, a beautiful theme conspiring against and for you. There was a feeling never before, there was a desire never desired, there was a sense never felt. There was me, and I was possessed by myself. I am He.
Truly
Abinash
The moon was taking over sun and the darkness over light. The wind too changed the direction so as the birds. I was standing on the edge of the day where it was not going to end but begin the next morning. Arms spread out to embrace the scent that the soothing wind would bring with it. Like a man who know himself I stood there with the definite indifference, unprecedented. And then I asked "Who am I". And I got the reassuring answer "I am Him". Looking directly the moons and the millions of sparkling stars into the eyes, I could realize my nonexistence. Gravity seems to be broken and with it the fear of falling, falling of weight, falling with time, falling in life. The whole world was a theme, a beautiful theme conspiring against and for you. There was a feeling never before, there was a desire never desired, there was a sense never felt. There was me, and I was possessed by myself. I am He.
Truly
Abinash
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The difference
It was raining outside, each drop falling with a
resonating sound, creating the immortal smell of
soil. The drops would fall and spread as dancing
ripples. The whole flow was predefined and
beautiful beyond consciousness.
Standing on the edge of porch all my thoughts
could assimilate is the memory of a similar
evening, a evening which had one exception to it.
I was not alone. Her presence made all the
ambiance and the horizon more convincing, more
desirable and I embraced them all. The whole new
feeling was blessed with her mesmerizing smell,
the sharp touch and the glittering beauty.
The whole new world seemed to be recreated at the
marvelous stroke of the artist who created.
The whole theme of life was revived with the thought of her presence. Thats the only difference between the rainy evening then and now. Thats the only difference.
Truly
Abinash
resonating sound, creating the immortal smell of
soil. The drops would fall and spread as dancing
ripples. The whole flow was predefined and
beautiful beyond consciousness.
Standing on the edge of porch all my thoughts
could assimilate is the memory of a similar
evening, a evening which had one exception to it.
I was not alone. Her presence made all the
ambiance and the horizon more convincing, more
desirable and I embraced them all. The whole new
feeling was blessed with her mesmerizing smell,
the sharp touch and the glittering beauty.
The whole new world seemed to be recreated at the
marvelous stroke of the artist who created.
The whole theme of life was revived with the thought of her presence. Thats the only difference between the rainy evening then and now. Thats the only difference.
Truly
Abinash
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A philosophy for life
Life should be lived looking forward and not back ward they say. But how do one looks forward? I learned it may be the way to anticipate goal and achievements for yourself and live by the sheer joy and hope that some day you will achieve them. Some day for sure. This philosophy of living is rather filled with illusions still one can suffer the transient happiness. subtly you deceive yourself in a way that it becomes all most an addiction. A crazy obsession that thrives with the time. You try to get solace with this preoccupied confounded brain which knows nothing but few of these unrealistic still widely claimed futuristic materialistic possessions. They soon become the guiding rule for the life and you are drifted towards the agony of behemoth ignorance. This deflection of self away from self is what they call as life.
But when u start to take retrospective approach of philosophy of living. You may suffer a transient discordance of brain and heart, but it will lead you closer to a path which can be traversed by none other than your self. The past sins and the achievement will enlighten your present and not future in contrast with the futuristic approach of life. But then its the present thats alive for past is dead and future is not born yet. The suffering comes when we consume the present to produce the future - which is undefined. We afford to loose the present and forget the time bygone to be in the fake euphoria and not ecstasy. A true happiness can be achieved when we look back at past and realize the present and never care about the future. Just being assured that your present action is righteous and filled with satisfaction future will draw itself automatically in the flow. after all they are all related with cosmic logic. Like the future direction of any object is defined by the direction of force you apply on it at the present.
Its all blissful man can have for himself a retrospective approach for life.
Truly
Abinash
But when u start to take retrospective approach of philosophy of living. You may suffer a transient discordance of brain and heart, but it will lead you closer to a path which can be traversed by none other than your self. The past sins and the achievement will enlighten your present and not future in contrast with the futuristic approach of life. But then its the present thats alive for past is dead and future is not born yet. The suffering comes when we consume the present to produce the future - which is undefined. We afford to loose the present and forget the time bygone to be in the fake euphoria and not ecstasy. A true happiness can be achieved when we look back at past and realize the present and never care about the future. Just being assured that your present action is righteous and filled with satisfaction future will draw itself automatically in the flow. after all they are all related with cosmic logic. Like the future direction of any object is defined by the direction of force you apply on it at the present.
Its all blissful man can have for himself a retrospective approach for life.
Truly
Abinash
Saturday, April 12, 2008
See the new snaps
all the beautiful readers in there please redirect yourself to our photo blog (Here) . New photos have been added and may you like it. :) Do give me comments.
http://www.lifesnaped.blogdpot.com
Truly
Abinash
http://www.lifesnaped.blogdpot.com
Truly
Abinash
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Beautiful illusion
Traveling to places and exploring their significance has its own charm. But for me people are rather more important than the place itself of course with few exceptions though. I had been to hyderabad so many times. But never did I visit any places, that seemingly glorify Hyderabad. Its always the guy my best friend, its an offense if I would say my best friend. He is a part of me. I find solace with him. Its just his company that I can travel to Hyderabad every day. Life is simple for us, we understand life is an illusion but we can always and we do make this illusion as beautiful as possible. For we have to stand this illusion till we die, no mater when. He is an extraordinary guy I would say. Indifferent, tolerant beyond what god has granted for human, an soothing soul and a pleasant disposition.
It was when the train whistled I realized its time to board the train. I went in and stayed back at the door. He was looking back at me with a calmness that would make you re-think your own perception of life. The iron wheels would roll with the command of their master and the train moves, with the moving wagon moves few illustrious body as mine, moving away from a pleasing illusion to another. But he holds on to the side bar and keeps his vision intact till the last glimpse can be consumed. I would look at him from the forwarding (or back warding) iron monster till I could afford to with out being played out. But its not the departure that keeps me thinking. Its the cognizance that I am ignorant of the fact, the fact that keeps man driving. why god makes some illusions so beautiful? Why at all? And I would keep on recreating the motions like a child fantasizing about a movie and customizing it with his own imagery. But then I learn the light lies there. The illusion's truth is there in being seeking happiness for the sake of life, for the sake of truth. And the illusion is blessed with people like him for may be I have been doing good with god. Thanks for his presence in my life. Thanks to god.
It was when the train whistled I realized its time to board the train. I went in and stayed back at the door. He was looking back at me with a calmness that would make you re-think your own perception of life. The iron wheels would roll with the command of their master and the train moves, with the moving wagon moves few illustrious body as mine, moving away from a pleasing illusion to another. But he holds on to the side bar and keeps his vision intact till the last glimpse can be consumed. I would look at him from the forwarding (or back warding) iron monster till I could afford to with out being played out. But its not the departure that keeps me thinking. Its the cognizance that I am ignorant of the fact, the fact that keeps man driving. why god makes some illusions so beautiful? Why at all? And I would keep on recreating the motions like a child fantasizing about a movie and customizing it with his own imagery. But then I learn the light lies there. The illusion's truth is there in being seeking happiness for the sake of life, for the sake of truth. And the illusion is blessed with people like him for may be I have been doing good with god. Thanks for his presence in my life. Thanks to god.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Never knew it can even be Love
Love.
Never thought even Love can be a sentence, a complete sentence. A word full of life, energy, dreams and of course love. Never believed even love can be self descriptive, a complete wordless communication. A word of pleasure, present, heart and soul.
Never realized even love can be so divine. A word of worship, devotion, commitment and realization. Thats love, thats easy.
Though I have not yet been fortunate to experience it still can imagine it to be like this.
:)A smiling smiley.
Truly
Abinash
Never thought even Love can be a sentence, a complete sentence. A word full of life, energy, dreams and of course love. Never believed even love can be self descriptive, a complete wordless communication. A word of pleasure, present, heart and soul.
Never realized even love can be so divine. A word of worship, devotion, commitment and realization. Thats love, thats easy.
Though I have not yet been fortunate to experience it still can imagine it to be like this.
:)A smiling smiley.
Truly
Abinash
A Request! :P
Hey hey .... its kinda weird but shamelessly I am jotting it down. When I reread(sometimes) my posts. I find few grammatical errors and few typo errors. Believe me.... I seldom have enough time to correct them completely. Though I rectify few hastily. So do forgive me for that.
:) A smiling smiley.
Truly
Abinash
:) A smiling smiley.
Truly
Abinash
A letter to and from....
I don't know why I want so desperately to publish this personal letter I had written to my best teach way back in 2003. It was when he was leaving my college and may be the last time we would meet in coming few years. I brief account of the letter and it's reply I will put in here.... readers please bear with me. :)
Dear Sir,
Quite strange though true, man invented alphabets and language, language is more likely to be used. Language for expressions. But strangely enough I dare to differ from the whole purpose and unable to express me through words of language and would like to take this written way of alphabets, forgive me for that.
Few feeling are better expressed through the symbols, few are better expressed unspoken, may be its of that sort. It didn't take your extra attention or favoritism for you to become my best. Its the discovery of truth that I found in you, its the charismatic disposition you always pursue, its the involuntary affection spread by you. The learning you never taught but induced in us through the philosophy of "self build man". Your philosophy of teaching will remain an infinite source of inspiration for the rest of my life. Its a salute from a student to the teacher who never taught by words but by self created examples. The place will be graced where you will serve the fundamental rule of humanity in creating more "selfs".
I dont know when we are going to stand before each other but I can assure you, the next time we will stand you will find me standing up to your vision, my vision.
A good bye to an extra ordinary teacher from an ordinary student.
Truly
Abinash
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The reply:
Dear Abinash,
Love. Yeah there are feeling can't expressed through words but letters. It was great to read the letter, I was enriched with satisfaction. Certainly I hope and believe the next time we stand before each other you would be taller enough than me not in height but in achievement that I have to look up with pride to reach for a glimpse of you. Time is ever changing and hence life for life is a slave of time. But few good man out there can outlaw this rule and propel them selves into victory not just win, like these change never brought them adversity ever. Welcome difficulties in your way and be sure that in these difficulties you will become the man you will be for whole life. Pave yourself upon them for building the road of your choice. I know you can always make the best man. And I will be the most glad man to see you redefining the eights, which you will. Do write to me, have faith in god, have faith in your dreams and mostly have faith in yourself. Be the man you always want to be.
Keeping it here. be in touch, better through letters.
With lots of love and wishes
Sir.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It has been five years since this communication occurred. Still something is in it that drives me. May be its the passion he instilled in me to be a self man man always. To be a man I always want to. To dare beyond the fear. To build a "self" in me.
Truly
Abinash
Dear Sir,
Quite strange though true, man invented alphabets and language, language is more likely to be used. Language for expressions. But strangely enough I dare to differ from the whole purpose and unable to express me through words of language and would like to take this written way of alphabets, forgive me for that.
Few feeling are better expressed through the symbols, few are better expressed unspoken, may be its of that sort. It didn't take your extra attention or favoritism for you to become my best. Its the discovery of truth that I found in you, its the charismatic disposition you always pursue, its the involuntary affection spread by you. The learning you never taught but induced in us through the philosophy of "self build man". Your philosophy of teaching will remain an infinite source of inspiration for the rest of my life. Its a salute from a student to the teacher who never taught by words but by self created examples. The place will be graced where you will serve the fundamental rule of humanity in creating more "selfs".
I dont know when we are going to stand before each other but I can assure you, the next time we will stand you will find me standing up to your vision, my vision.
A good bye to an extra ordinary teacher from an ordinary student.
Truly
Abinash
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The reply:
Dear Abinash,
Love. Yeah there are feeling can't expressed through words but letters. It was great to read the letter, I was enriched with satisfaction. Certainly I hope and believe the next time we stand before each other you would be taller enough than me not in height but in achievement that I have to look up with pride to reach for a glimpse of you. Time is ever changing and hence life for life is a slave of time. But few good man out there can outlaw this rule and propel them selves into victory not just win, like these change never brought them adversity ever. Welcome difficulties in your way and be sure that in these difficulties you will become the man you will be for whole life. Pave yourself upon them for building the road of your choice. I know you can always make the best man. And I will be the most glad man to see you redefining the eights, which you will. Do write to me, have faith in god, have faith in your dreams and mostly have faith in yourself. Be the man you always want to be.
Keeping it here. be in touch, better through letters.
With lots of love and wishes
Sir.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It has been five years since this communication occurred. Still something is in it that drives me. May be its the passion he instilled in me to be a self man man always. To be a man I always want to. To dare beyond the fear. To build a "self" in me.
Truly
Abinash
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