Feel a refugee

Human is indeed a weird creature. He can hurt himself and he can heal himself.
At times it feels like you are a refugee. A refugee, who is just a burden, nothing more, nothing less. No values he carries. No authority. Just he has been granted a wreck shelter and a few favors dumped upon. He has to take them all. To survive.
He can't speak. he is not supposed to. He does not worth a single word of love. He but a refugee. A burden. This feel comes at times. And it feels bad. Really bad.
You are refused a even one minute of celebration. You are reminded and re-reminded that you are just a refugee, granted few favors. Mind the limits or you will be banished from here too.
And you gulp the pain, accept the fact and live with the fear. You just try setting your love free and you are reminded. Again.

Truly
Abinash

Love the water way

A guy became a confidant on me of late. He came complaining of her girl friend. That she is not caring at all. He does so many things, he cares so much, ONLY he does. And by far such a relation can't grow much as only he cares, he told. It aint fair at all, he doing all good, and he being all good. As he claimed. I gave a smile. And completely disagreed. Orally and mentally. Just one thought went through "they are not in love". Or might be they are yet to understand what love is. But I did not utter it. Not everyone can understand this. People just so confine themselves in their own irrational thoughts that if you try to penetrate, you end up hurting yourself. I said lets assume you care a lot more than she does may be double than her. And he looked amused with my this assumption. I just gave him a small example. Example of water. Whats water? He went on, water is life as taught in primary school. Water is the reason of life on earth. Its the most important compound on earth. Its The most abundant compound also. And yet its the most precious compound.
I smiled giving a nod of acceptance. He said all the benefits he gets from it, and for him what it is is defined by what it can do for him. But naturally he is human. And this is human. He missed the most important part, what it is made up of? Its 2 part Oxygen and one part Hydrogen. Oxygen may be the most precious and important element. Its takes two parts of this most important and significant element and just one part of the other not so significant element to build the most precious compound. Oxygen never complains. :) But that way it builds water. Had it ever asked for even two parts of hydrogen it would be Hydrogen peroxide. Rather toxic which can kill. Just opposite as water, which can give life.
Everything that is great has a unique combinations of things. Appreciate it. Realize it. You love her because she is what she is. Appreciate it. A slight alteration can potentially convert this nectar into poison. Understand. Do not doubt things, keep the trust up. Its the foundation of love. Know the rare blend of your love story. Its unique. And just fall in love with that. It worths it.


P.S.:Read with attention and u can find the obvious flaw. :)
Truly
Abinash

A dream

She was standing right there. With a mild smile, looking directly into my eyes. A thin bunch of hair hanging over the right eye. Down till the pink lips. I moved slowly removed the hair like removing the veil with anticipation. Just to discover the most beautiful face beneath it. And the most beautiful heart beneath the face. I looked with admiration, with a sense of satisfaction. The smile was still intact. The love in her eyes, the warmth in her breathes. I raised my hand and put my fingers on her lips with elegance. The soft touch, the integrity of the pinkness. The desperation to speak the moment. The brimming words of love. Silent enough to be called quite lips. Loud enough to be called voice of love. A sound meant for the heart to understand. She moves a little with exquisite moves, breaking the silence of the moment. Her lips stuck close to the ear. The only voice audible remains hers. And the words like ever lasting, "I love you'.
And the alarm rings, I wake up, off the dream smiling trying to hold back to the dream. I move on to work the day. Still smiling. :)

Dimaag lagana mana hai

Dimaag lagana manaa hai. So dimaag nahin laga rahe. :)

Just a little yaad

Feelings are always weird. You never know how you would you feel until you feel it. The thought to be away and just be bonded by yaad feels good, when you know the away is not far enough to generate the sense of separation. But the same feel goes toxic when it feels separation. But I am lucky its not a separation for me. It can never be. I am assured. By her. And I trust, her. Always. She aint any far, I just close the eyes and feel her. With open eyes she lives in the pupils. Always reflecting in everything I see. She lives in me. As a part. Inseparable. When if separated the error in my life would be "Location not found for integral critical process, hazardous malfunction occured. System stopped working, responding. System will shut down."

The warmth

The most warming sense is always a nonsense to others. The most warming sense would be the anticipating eyes, the marvelous smile, the heart filled with satisfaction on the day's first glance at her. But it's nonsense. To others. But I never share a self with anyone. No others. I continue to hold the warmth. Looking beyond the day.
I feel her completely in the images I create. I feel her soft fingers waving to me. I feel her expressive eyes speaking with her softness. I come out of the imagination. Just to find he is not all mine. I ma her in her personal world. I feel the irresistible desire to reach her. I see a bunch of worn out faces. Making all sort of preposterous acts like they are there to kill my desires and in turn hers.
I just move back to imagination safeguarding her smile and with the solace and asset that she loves me.

Truly
Abinash

A new smile A new day

The first sight is always appealing. Gorgeous, bright and beautiful.
Like a blossoming flower, her eyes would open, with the curved eye lashes departing to make way for the glitter of her eyes enlighten everyone. The shinning hair neatly bound to reflect perfection. Confused she turns her head to search. To search her love, which her wondering eyes had dreamt of the whole night restlessly awaiting for the morning. Not to miss the first glimpse of him. The pink lips little moist desperate to render a smile at him. His eyes meets with hers. The moment stops. Stops for ever. The smile is rendered with purity the same artistic way petals are rendered on a blossoming flower. He lives the moment the whole day long. The next day brings in a new smile a new life.

Truly
Abinash

I am unromantic

Now comes a doubt of doubts. After struggling with thoughts to find out an answer myself, when I failed miserably, I took refuse in internet and then correlated it with what perception I carried. Will juxtapose both what I found and what I thought here.
What is it "being romantic"? How to be?
Well the literally meaning would be like:
Adjective:
1. Belonging to or characteristic of Romanticism or the Romantic Movement in the arts
2. Expressive of or exciting sexual love or romance
3. Not sensible about practical matters; idealistic and unrealistic
Noun:
1. A soulful or amorous idealist

Well going by its meaning as an adjective, I certainly am not romantic. At all.
I am not part of any romantic movement.
I am not an expressive sexual lover
I am not unrealistic, non pragmatic thinker. Might be I am not a thinker at all.

So By definition I ma not romantic and I would want to be one.
Now after wondering over many sites and pondering over many facts, I guess they are facts (Please check Here ), Again I realized I never have any such compulsion to any of the mentioned things. Neither I would like to have these abilities in me. So again I am not romantic.
Then I wondered is it really so I ma not romantic, and i researched and bumped into this link, Here. Now as per this link yes I ma romantic. I am not monotonous. I love to say I love you. I never show any disregard.
I make my way of doing things, saying things. Never let go small things, as i just love every small things too. Well I am just not much sincere. I agree. Now thats single point does not disqualify me from being romantic.

This is what the result I got after the comparative analysis of being romantic with internet data. Now coming to my very own perception, it goes as below:

Being romantic is being honest at the first place. Honest all the time and keeping the dignity up all the time.
Its being in killing the ego, to let the person in your life, to understand the needs and desires of the person. Its about the honest care and the feel of longing that comes naturally. It in letting her feel that you love her, not just say it.
It in respecting her liberty. Its in being the most trustworthy person in her life. Its being in making her feel the most comfortable in the world like a child in mother's womb. Its in giving her the sense of belonging.
I always believed this is what is called being romantic. Never knew that the world perceives it differently, like in gifting a surprise on a special occasion as if not every day u spend with her is special. In following a hundred weird way to speak that you love her. In kissing her with out regarding her comfort. In giving a card or flowers on a meet and utter out few emotional nonsense, which will carry no values in the course of time.
Sorry I am not romantic. And I prefer not to be.
I can'y make my love the slave of few false acts. I declare I am unromantic. And I take pride in it.