A Life of faith....

In this eventful path of life we all face cross roads which demands firm decisions. Many a times we are troubled by the turbulent force of unknown. And then many of us give up or shout help. But if u can’t solve your problem and u can’t make decision for ourselves then how can anybody else? We loose hope; we take fall as fail and every error as uncorrectable. But few man show guts and they start off after every fall with more courage and hard work just to set an example that falling is not failing. This strength does not come from outside neither from emotion. It’s an inner strength which comes from love and faith, the faith in self and the almighty. This faith gives the raw courage to achieve the unseen. It’s the best healer and the most powerful therapy. It re-enforces the dream and the source. A faith is miracle, a faith itself is godly. The undisputed world cycling champ LANCE ARMSTRONG had set a new milestone with his miraculous comeback after a deadly disease. He came, won and showed the power of faith ( See: The Autobiography “Its not about the bike; my journey back to life by Lance Armstrong. ). Then on he runs the Armstrong Foundation which does many charities a part of that is the bands we wear with caption “Live Strong”. This is the power of faith.
Faith originates from hope and is enforced by commitment. The more we are committed the more we are faithful. The more we commit the more we love and love nurtures faith. Love is a supreme force and the only way for God realization. The power of love and faith is articulated by many Yogis. From faith originates the power of will. At will power man can do anything virtually anything. Even willfully when u command the sun to rise it won’t rise. ( For more on will power and faith and yogic miracles read “ Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramahansa Yogananda ).
All these yoga and everything has a common motto; a better life and a better place to live in. God can be realized and served in mainly three ways according to Vhagbad-Gita:
1. Kriya Yoga
2. Dhyana Yoga
3. Karma Yoga

Kriya yoga is something practiced by devine yogis and saints to achieve god through self realization. It ignites the power of Kundalini in the human body and gives supreme force like materialize a single body in two forms.

Dhyana yoga is practiced by Rusis of ancient eras. The “Kothar Tapasya.”

But what about us the people with this earth with families and other responsibility. We have Karma Yoga. Which is nothing but the practice of godly qualities like honesty, benevolence, dedicated work, prayers, love and the will to change things in the right direction. This sense of righteousness gives courage and enlightens us with knowledge of self. It gives us faith. Such is the power of faith and love. Lets love and have faith in the infinite.

Kuch cheezein... paaya hun

kuchh cheezein samet kar laya hoon
aise hi bin dhoondhe jinhe main paya hoon
kuch aisee cheezein jo bekaar si hain
kuch aisee cheezein jo darkaar si hain

kuch cheezein jalne-jalanewalee
kuch cheezein palne mananewalee
kuch cheezein jo bas rukee rukee har pal dilko satanewalee

kuch cheezein man ko lubhanewalee
kuch cheezein raaz chhupanewalee
kuch cheezein jinse shuru hueen
koi kahani manpasand sunanewalee

kuch cheezein jinse khud darr jaun
kuch cheezein jinse auron ko daraun
kuch cheezein jinko dekh dekh apna aur jagka darr bhagaun

kuch cheezein jo hain chhoti chhoti
kuch cheezein jo hain moti moti
kuch cheezein jo hain anant nashwar
na hain woh koi kharee khoti

kuchh cheezein samet kar laya hoon
aise hi bin dhoondhe jinhe main paya hoon
kuch aisee cheezein jo bekaar si hain
kuch aisee cheezein jo darkaar si hain.

By:- Surya Mishra*; I loved it so posted it.
* My brother, friend, guide, mentor and some one I love.

We and the People....

What I have learned over the years is Joy is the purpose of life. Joy in everything even in pain. And now we live for it. We try finding joy in what ever we do but seldom we take a look back to find if its really the kind of joy we wanted. We live in a "lower middle class" country India. Most of us like me hails from lower middle class back ground. In course of time we begin to earn and spend. We rise from lower middle class to middle and then to upper class making a cluster of our own. And then the joy comes again... we spend time with friends and say we find joy in all these. But what we do really is we spend money more than time and find solace that we "can" spend so much. This can factor ignites a proud: a feeling of vague joy. Every morning I set out for office I see few men/women on the road side collecting garbage from drains and fields. I find them wearing the same torn and dirty dress and the same bare foot. I find them unaware of the term "beauty". I find them with un-oiled hair with pre mature grayish color. But they don't beg.. they earn a living that way. I don't like beggars for they never posses a self and always wait for favors. But these men who work but never grow, sleep but never dream, survive but never live, what about them? Consequently their children who never find the privilege to educate them selves and work in the same drain where they were born. What is their fault? They are faulty for taking birth? Are they faulty to have parents who can't find even one time meal? What is their fault? But when we pass bye we reward them by speaking out some monosyllables: "oohhh".." bechara"... "aahaa".... etc etc. But we never don't understand they have not begged our sympathy, they have not ask us to think about them. But what we do is just this "professional sympathy". Thanks we find joy in everything we do. But are we worth of this joy? we forget the hard work our parents do to put us on the frontier and to give us the ability to rise to the upper class. But in case of most of the Indians the parents themselves are unable to live what they can get for their children. It becomes our social and moral responsibility to understand their needs and give them the right scope to live and grow. Many those are in the orphanage live a healthy live with access to education. But these fellows even they have parents can't find time to play, to educate, to eat, to think of health and ultimately to live. Only thing they do is "struggle to survive every day". When these days would go? God has not done this as an evil or a mistake. Everything is done in purpose. It is just that God has given us the opportunity to carry on his task. To make his creation a better place and to make people realize of his divine existence. So how far we realize our task and how far we are motivated to carry on our responsibility? A big question indeed.

My Idiosyncrasy.....

This is my idiosyncrasy. My way of projecting my self. Its my codes unchanged.
Things have changed since I had taken a last look at me. The changes are awful! A dream remains unachieved and I have too lessened working hard for it; can't find a cause "why". An attitude yet to be updated and a behavior too bad. I used to be very caring and sympathetic, but now I find I hardly care. I have changed! I don't why I am deviating from my objective. But its true something is dragging me away or is it me who is drifting away???? I am yet to find the cause and fix it. But one thing that I find unchanged is few of my behavioral aspect. I am never good at talking at social occasions. I just don't know how to react and how to laugh at things which u may not find funny. I don't know how to wittily handle peoples comments. I don't know how to go on discussing which u don't find interesting. I don't know how to discuss someone else (may it be good or bad). And this remains the same. Recently I visited one of my friends as she was leaving Bangalore but I found I am wasting their time. I felt like i am alien and I could not go on laughing at few things I don't find funny. But they are my good friends and I like them. But still I was unable to maintain a fairly good talking. And I ended up seeming rude and grave though I tried hard to be as polite as possible. Actually many people misunderstand this to be my gravity or proud but sincerely speaking I am never grave. Instead I am very natural and I feel great to have free and open ended discussions. I never see any one is inferior or superior. But I am always misunderstood. An das a general habit I don't give explainations usually and I just stay as a negative and misunderstood man in many people's mind. Can't help it.
Any way I need to change a lot and that too I have to get the earlier version back for few aspects.
Any way I thought I should jot it down so wrote it.
Bye
Truly
Abinash.

I will write on Saturday.

I wanted to write manythings now but I have to wait till saturday.
Anyway I will certainly put some good stuffs then.
Bye.

My Apology

What else can I do,
In life I have friends quite a few.

I fight them for the good,
I don’t regard their mood.
In me they find an enemy
But my friendship is always true.

I can’t stand no blame,
It hurts to burn in the flame.

My eyes are dreary,
I am no prodigal,
Am sure I do.. but It makes me weary.

I can’t give nothing,
But all my apologies.

I used to care,
when friends were fair,

I wish time would change,
And I may (be) back in the range.

I would fight with my reckless dare,
Oh, time would come when I will learn to care.

Now all I give is
My apologies.

----- By Abinash Sarangi

Abandoned Love.... By *Bob Dylan

I can hear the turning of the key
I've been deceived by the clown inside of me.
I thought that he was righteous but he's vain
Oh, something's a-telling me I wear the ball and chain.

My patron saint is a-fighting with a ghost
He's always off somewhere when I need him most.
The Spanish moon is rising on the hill
But my heart is a-tellin' me I love ya still.

I come back to the town from the flaming moon
I see you in the streets, I begin to swoon.
I love to see you dress before the mirror
Won't you let me in your room one time 'fore I finally disappear?

Everybody's wearing a disguise
To hide what they've got left behind their eyes.
But me, I can't cover what I am
Wherever the children go I'll follow them.

I march in the parade of liberty
But as long as I love you I'm not free.
How long must I suffer such abuse
Won't you let me see you smile one time before I turn you loose?

I've given up the game, I've got to leave,
The pot of gold is only make-believe.
The treasure can't be found by men who search
Whose gods are dead and whose queens are in the church.

We sat in an empty theater and we kissed,
I asked ya please to cross me off-a your list.
My head tells me it's time to make a change
But my heart is telling me I love ya but you're strange.

One more time at midnight, near the wall
Take off your heavy make-up and your shawl.
Won't you descend from the throne, from where you sit?
Let me feel your love one more time before I abandon it.

... Bob Dylan, Bob Dylan born in 1941 in Minnesota USA is one of the revolutionary writers who has written many hit songs which even got political influence in USA in those days of 1960s.

Hoo-Haa-India....

It was the 2003 world cup and India was shining. But there they made a wrong move by going for the New Zealand series while on the brink of the world cup. Now its 2007 world cup and India is again at a wrong place SA while just on the brink of the world cup. It seems India is repeating the same story but with just a little difference. Last time their temperament was high and it lead them in to the finals but this time every one is skeptical if they would make it to even the quarters? So it has been a tradition for India to be the wrong place at the wrong (or even right does not matter) time. Well if we make the analogy of the world cup with a D-Day in a student’s career then we can find what is needed the most is
1. The same or even more enthusiasm and Motivation.
2. More practice few mock tests and more practice on weak points.
3. Getting the resources
4. Hard work
5. Guidance And when the final day comes closer what is more important is

And on the D-Day what is more important is Stress management, zeal to perform and the patience and perseverance.
Similarly in cricket we develop a team with each player motivated to perform their best despite all adversity. Then the planning and strategies and the right leadership comes into picture. We find a guide in the name of a coach, and all these hard work. Then practice and the mock matches like the ongoing series.

But the Main Problem

The real problem lies in the fact that the Indian team should concentrate more on the practice and getting over the weak arrears like the poor bowling and fielding but what they are doing is they are playing too many matches and giving least importance and time to over come the hindrance they found in the earlier matches. They don’t invest time for Problem Solving but For problem Finding. So many of the problems persist and even escalate.

Most of the players don’t seem motivated for winning and it’s a problem that lies in the grass root of many others.
Just because of this lack of motivation they struggle to give effort towards the goal, winning.
So what we need desperately is consistent and motivated players and not just temporary performers.

We have to accept stress management does not come naturally to Indians. So we have to develop it by practice and work. We have to make it an attitude but not a single of our players seems to do so. They just give in to the situation and never fight back with a motive of winning. If we miss the first ball, we can never hit the second one and correspondingly it becomes a chain reaction of failures; this is the mind set almost all of the players pursue. Least they understand its always better to give it a shot at the best because if they don’t it will never happen any way but if they do at least there is a slim chance.

We are negative inherently as we see a half full glass to be half empty. But then we override it with our reasoning. But on the field it seems players never miss to see a half won match as half lost. So how come they win??

Down To Earth Reality

Now let’s look into the down to earth problem which is more superficial and can be invoked as short term changes.
1. Team selection and management
2. Getting accustom to playing conditions.
3. The clear hindrance of easy money and fame.

The current Indian team is ……….(TEAM NAME GOES HERE.).
Now with only 2 experience players and all others new does it seem they are ready for the world cup? This is the weakest team India has ever witnessed. But Why all these worthless experiments just before the world cup? We could have done it much before the season. The performance of the players are very poor. Raina has an Average of only 26.34 while he has already played 35 ODIs. Now is that the batting figure an ODI player should carry? Then why he is still in the team? Middle order seem to be dilapidated with Dinesh Mongia. He has never performed when it was needed but still no one has bothered to find a remedy.
The Indian cricket is highly influenced by politics and the internal disputes. The only thing they can leave over if they continue to be political is a good topic of case study for the coming generation management students.
Saurav Gangully whose individual records are very bright and comes second only to Sachin Tendulka in India is dropped out of the team. He has been the most successful Indian captain in foreign ground. He has got the second highest no of centuries and more than 10000 ODI runs just in 283 matches. But he is a victim of politics and he is out of the team. The coach is very bright as an individual and was a great cricketer but he never made a good leader. He has not resolved the differences but only escalated them and certainly that’s the opposite of what leadership accounts for.
Playing balls on a fast track and on the front foot is not natural for Indians. They are accustomed to slow and dry pitches of India. But the Caribbean wickets are hard and bouncy so its going to force the bats man to play in the back foot. And especially for Indian it will be problematic as they are not good at bounce and pace. Contrary to this what they are doing now is playing at SA with the same slow pitch and a completely different weather conditions. But shouldn’t they now try to catch up with these bouncy and fast pitches and the weather conditions? When ever they face these extreme conditions they give in and explain later how everything was different and hard. But again they never try to eradicate the problem with is always evident. Indian fielders are not good as Indians are not risk takers and the bowling is always poor. But the BCCI has never felt the necessity to employ a special coach for both these areas. India had many good fielders like Robin Singh, Azharruddin but they were never consulted for the training. It needs a huge reform and its high time we go for it. Most importantly we need a right decision maker. We can not blame the coach or the facilities. All we should do must come from with in. Every player should realize the gravity of the demand and develop skills to cope with it.
Players are more indulged in earning bucks from endorsement of brands. Rushing to quick fame and then overlooking the extra responsibility that comes with publicity. They fail to do “Impression Management”. Air-tel terminated the contract with Sachin just because his brand value is decreasing. They forget what they are getting as the brand ambassador and the face they are handling is just a result of their performance on field. If they fail to be consistent they are out of the game. In this highly competitive world. What we need is performance to be in the game. And as the spectators we just can’t raise fingers also its our duty to think with belief “I-Can-Do-Something-About-It.”. And we should encourage youngsters to play quality cricket by involving themselves passionately. If today we fail to make a robust team of 11 out of the 1.1 billion population then its just because we never contribute and think to be independent. And its not just about cricket… its about everything.

Who Cares, Who is afraid?

Trust me I wont let u down…
I won't give u a chance to frown.
For winning is the motive and fighting is the way,
We may die in sequence of this fray.
But then who cares, who is afraid?
People turn us down,
we may not win the crown.
But then who cares , who is afraid?
We can fight beyond the last bullet
Until spending blood till the last droplet.
Worst case we die and loose…
But then who cares , who is afraid?

The cult Life!

I was sitting in the chair,
With my heart filled of despair.
I knew I was going mad,
But I had no option but being sad.
I was held by the obssession,
Which occured to me in succession.
Life was inscruttable,
and death was inevitable.
I lost even my breath,
in life's anguish and wrath.
But I was profound to finish it all ...
Stopping life's rolling ball.
Soon I was to be closed in a vault,
Then my style would become a cult!
(by Me.)

A Nightmare Or A Sweet Dream!!!!

It was a cold night as the rain was pouring heavily. It was November I remember. Some thing stung my eyes ....it didn't take me much to know it was the sparkling light coming out of the 4th floor of the insti building. "What the hell"....came out of me involuntarily as my adrenalin started acting. I jerked back horrified. All that I could see was just 2 images more like shadows. The first thing that filled my mind was the eerie images of ghosts. "Do they really exist" ..was the question I have asked that morning. "All crap u know ....ghost I can't believe some one like u can even think of things like that" bobby has told. But I could really see them now I told myself. I stepped slowly towards it. It was a good 200 meters way from the out gate of the hostel. As I always promote myself to be gutsy I hesitated to get any one accompany me. Alone down the road I moved closer. Now the scene clearer and the terrible light more dazzling. The images moving random on the corridor....now started to merge into the point where they were emanating from. The arrangement was weird ....they tried to reveal something kind of cipher message. It was a hieroglyphs; a symbol for a word. My neuron signals started flipping through my weak white matter to find a match. My mind didn't consume too much memory cycles to know it was the ancient symbol for the evil spirits. It was only because of my interest in symbology. "But do the ghosts understand symbology?" I was skeptical about myself. I was moving slower as I approached the staircase which overlooks the corridor..giving me a clear view of the scene. I was moving up with my eyes stuck to the corridor, like I was looking at myself in the mirror overlooking everything around. Had I ever looked at my books with that sort of concentration I would have topped the university. Suddenly what stopped my slow progress was the giggles that I heard. It was kinda they know about my stealth entry to their territory," do they really?". I felt the cold ness that made me a corpse, but I had to move up, I was too close to quit.
I was now on the 4th floor, the lights now more random but a lil deem. 1 full hour ,what I consumed to cover a journey of 200 meters. I was about to witness the most horrified image of my life. "May be I'll be the only one to brag my meeting with ghosts next morning provided I survive" I told myself to give myself a lil strength in vain ,recalling the PD class of that morning which told about positive attitude. "Do the ghosts understand English .... I could at least negotiate for my life" I thought. I came closer while one of those 5 lights went off. "Was the ghost appalled by me or anything wrong?" I was struggling my own ideas.
ssshhh.....ssshhh.......sssssssshhhhhhhhhhh.....the sound that came along, like some one dieing to breath or breathing to die. The sound more stronger now was not the only one to reverberate along with came the sound Thud...thud...thud...thud....thud..thudthudthudthud. Like a predator to kill its target.
My heart was about to beat its last few beats before failing when I heard "VOH" . I don't really remember how I was taken back to the hostel room or who took me there. But I was alive when I got my sense back. 2 weeks have passed in between but I never solved the mystery of those dangling lights.
" Hi Abinash" sonia greeted ."Hi" I reacted quite surprisingly as we usually never talk. " I doubt u r in ur ghost story rite now" she told smilling. "No..no.. I was just ......! but how do u know about that?" I managed and fired back frowned. "Well if u promise me u won't get annoyed with me and not make a issue of it I would like to tell u something. "She told looking down creating two beautiful dimples not by smilling but by trying to show she is sorry." I know because I was the conceiver of that idea, Bobby told me about ur phasmophobia" she said reluctantly. "See we were just trying to pull u out of this mess ...the fear u know" she told trying to set the flag in the wind's direction."What?" I reacted. "Sorry, it escalated to something more than what was expected, but we never thought u r such a "FATTU". "What ? I m not ...mind u. And who were the others by the way " I pretended to be angry but was lil shameful; and nervous for talking to the one whom I could only dream of talking to. "We means me, Raji, Bobby, Jaggu and pankaj" she told with her eye lids flipping more quickly now. A typical gal's style u know. " In fact Bobby, Jaggu and Pankaj were holding the torches. And they got u back to the room." she told trying to fight back her fake tears (I believe) now. It certainly felt good as I got another career option to think of "ACTING", after all I pretended nicely enough to make a beautiful gal cry. "Its all right now please don't cry . I can't loose those drops ....this canteen floor doesn't deserve it" I told waving my hanky before her; struggling to look serious as I was flying inside for having the most beautiful gal of the campus crying for me . I was lucky that she didn't take the hanky but I could bet she would have spited on me if she had taken that one. U know the dirt-dirty condition. "Well we can then initiate a nice friendship here on" I told anxiously to hear a yes. "But I think I have something more than that to tell u" she replied softly looking at me from the corners of her eyes.....leaving me a lead to guess what next !!

Well I have more Audience that I think....

It was one of my earlier posts in my blog where I had mentioned ... "No one except JB checks my blog.". But its today I got a mail from a beloved junior (Mihir ) that he checks it regularly and was a bit upset as I had not included him in my audience. Then many more reported that they usually check my blog and are frequent visitor. After that post I have received around 15 complains that I should be careful while dealing with such statistics. Well I am really glad that I have a good reasonable number of audience and too frequent ones. Thaks a lot. And sorry for the exclusion. Arbind has also become a profound reader of my blog so thanks to him too. One had mentioned he finds my writing very inspiring so I keep on doing that. Well thats good.
I will keep on wrting and updating my blog every now and then.. but I am getting a lil busy as I am also doing a part time job as a "creative writer" for an online advertising company. So do check my blog regularly and thanks againg.
Bye,
Truly
Abinash.

Lakshya Ki Talaash mein......

Ujjwal aasmaan mein,
Ek tim tima ta taara tha,
Use dekh har roz mera dil soche,
Kya ye meri taraf koi ishara thaa,
Yun to taare bahat hai aasman mein,
Par wohi taare pe kyun lage hai man,
Jis din dhake aasma badal se,
Udaasi saa lage ye jiban.

Par yun to ishwar ne banaye hain taare asma ke liye,
Is dharti pe rehke mein unko kya paao ,
Nih sabda swapna se mein kya laon.

Yun to ishwar ne he isara diya,
Taaron ke liye tumhe chunaa hai aasman,
Jaana hai gagan k us paar aur banana hai pehchaan.
Tabhi mein samjha kya woh ishara thaa ,
Jo mere liye ek tim tima ta tara tha.
Ab manjil ki he samajh mujhko, jana hai bahat duur,
Us aasman ko chuonga mein , gagan k par bhi jaaunga mein.
Ab raste ki hai pehchaan mujh ko, jo bhram mein gaya tha bhool.

Ab apni khud ki samajh hai mujh ko, jise samjha tha meine dhool.
Pakad hai majboot abhi, lakshya nishaane par,
Bas dekhna hai dum hai mujhmein kitna wahan pahanch pane par.
Ishwar ki is prakruti ne sikhaya bahat kuch hai,
Ab dekhna hai meine sikha kya hai?

Jis lakshya ke liye hai janm mera, ushe safal prabal kar jaana hai mujhe,
Bahak gaya tha taare ko dekh kar, ki har subah ek ujjal suraj bhi hai.

... Few Quotations By Me!!

U may feel these quotes are rotten and they stink but I write them in the corresponding mind set.

1. Winning matters....

2. A true fighter never quits, but he must know what he is fighting for and whom he is fighting with.

3. To be a winner at life it does not take hard muscles but a strong mind and a brave heart.

4. I may not be the best man around but atleast I am giving it a try.

5. I may die a dog’s death but I can at least say I have never lived a dog’s life.

6. My birth was not my beginning and my death will not be my end but what lies between these two will certainly make history.
7.I never redefine things for I hate moving along the path which is already traversed.
8. Lion may be the king of jungle but I have never tried to live like him, because I m too busy to spend 70% of my life sleeping.

Ok Ok.. Few LOVE quotation now Yes these are too my own mind's products....

1. Love may be torture some times but it gives you the power of tolerance.

2. Love gives you a new colour and adds a new aroma which can't be experienced unless you are really into it.

3. Love gives you a head str\art for many things. Don't limit it with emotional destruction.
4. Set your love free untold and unaware to test its worthyness. If its true you will win one or other way.
5. Love was never my motive and hatred was never my attribute .

My Odd Habits!!!!

Hi! I again assume that more than one person check it and would not mind to refer in prural form. Anyway I have quite a few odd habits and I am not at all in a mood to change them.
The habits are like... I Love reading books on my bed. I can't sleep early even the days I return after 9 or so from work. I wake up early even the days I sleep at 1 or 2 in the noght. I wash cloths in the night only. I am not at all sincere and I never mind wearing unpressed shirts and pants (Even to work). But whats more important is I take all these for grant and have never tried to change them. May be I am yet to find a valid reason to change them all.
Apart from those habits now lets come to fw others....
I was few times told by my friends I am much into "Orkut" thyen I too found out it to be true and I quit it. I am out of it now.
Now also I am told I am much into my Blog ... and also I found I am. But I wont quit it, for my blog is one of my best friend where i have shared my many feelings. From agony to ecstacy. From fancy to fantacy! My blog has always been there with me witnessing all my moves and all my life. I can't quit it. In Bangalore I find myself very lonely many a times. But I render my feeling in my blog as I would have told them to one of my truest friend. So this is my blog that listens to me carefully with patientence untill I unfold myself fully to have a lighter heart and a clear mood.
So I can't give up this blogging habit.
About few other things... I am really choosey about the friends that I have. I am very carefull about them I mean atleast I make it sure they are what they are supposed to be. Many times I have been reproached for this but I can't change this habit too... for I love the few friends I have more than manmy things.. including my life. The only thing I give more priority to in life more than my friends is "My family" which needs me desperately and "my aim" that I carry as my truest of vision. So I choose friends who can really understand this very fact!
Enough of my so called bad habits from any social poit of view but it does not matter as I folw the "Who cares" theory and also the "let it be " funda.
Bye
Truly
Abinash

... The Touch..

In this calm blue night, under the cover of stars..
I want to feel your smell with this closed eye.
I want to stretch my hand to touch you and feel you with my fingers,
I need your sense to be felt in my heart.
I want to hold you back in my arms
to feel your breath and the restless calm.
I want to dance to the rhythm of the vibration of your lip,
To reverberate in your dangling black hair.
I want to feel you in my soul,
With the softness and the kind touch that you pour.
In the eternal dreams I want to chase you with all my heart,
In the rain, moon and the sun I want your shine being marked.
I want to feel you right beside me.
I am needless, I am desperate and I am restless.
I want to walk with your hand pressed against mine.
I want to see the rain drops going down your pink cheeks,
I want to smell the aroma of the air that touches you.
I want to kiss you with my soul and eyes closed,
And I want to feel you here with me.
In every tone of nature, in every step of the spring
I want to feel you right beside me.
I am needless, I am desperate and I am restless.
I want to walk with your hand pressed against mine.
I want to see the rain drops going down your pink cheeks,
I want to smell the aroma of the air that touches you.
I want to kiss you with my soul and eyes closed,
And I want to feel you here with me.

.... Inactive, Paranoid, desperate, Annoied, Lonely, Me

Hi! To all those who drop in by my blog to have some time off the main cource of life. Did I say those?? Sorry I sould have written "that" as only JB checks it. Any way today is a (another)saturday, a day off from work. hhmm.... The same routine stay at home, wash clothes. But what i don't like is the idle and inactive environment. It feels like I am stuck to some fixed time and fixed infinite loop. The same mess where I stay with all gloomy and unconsious about the human potential. All just wait for time to bring everything in flow and not making things happen. In the course of changing there mind set I am facing many comments and many abuses from them only? But still I need to try I cant just give up for some one finds it wrong. I have to continue untill I find it wrong.
I dont have many friend. And In Bangalore I have really few. But they too don't like me. But can't help I can't change my habits and attitude though I have changed my behavior a lot over the time. But still it feels bad. It makes me feel lonely even when I am surrounded by my mess mates and in a busy bus. Today I went to buy one sport shoe (forcibly) but I had to go all alone, no "buddy" to share time with or even to tell something when u desperately fell to speak out. No one with me. Its all alone. And I have grown paranoid. I feel no one likes me, all want to hurt me. I am help less. I am annoied with myself. I am not raising a finger at any of those who claim to be my friend. But on me who deny such claims.
But I am learning through it. may be some time I will complete learning and I will be a HUMAN any way. How ever I am in a mood as described in the heading.
Thats why I have decide to dwrown myself in Work and all those books I have with me from now on. And I have changed my office timming too. Now on I am going at 8:00. But from 16th this month I will be assigned with project work so I will be keeping my self busy deliberately. I will come down only after 9:00 in the evening. And may be even Saturdays I will work deliberately. I will overload myself with something called "work".
Bye.
Truly
Abinash

Attitude V/S Behavior

Many a times people have requested me or in another way expressed their reproach for me by saying “U have a very bad attitude. Change it. U don’t know how to deal with people. U don’t know about relation management and u must change ur attitude.”. So I thought to write this article to clearly distinguish between ATTITUDE and BEHAVIOR. What these people dislike about me is the behavior and not the attitude but they ended up saying it attitude ignorantly or with a misunderstanding of the term.
Attitude is a personal attribute of a man. It lies secure well defined well inside you. And its not accessible or changeable by the public. But the behavior is a public attribute, its what u show others. It’s just a prototype of your impression of them u carry on your mind. So behavior can be defined and judged by others.
In the other hand attitude is different its your personal creation it’s the attribute of mind and heart. It’s the way u standardize your code of values and your self esteem. Its only you who can judge and hence change the attitude.
Behavior is reflected in your dealing with people, your voice, your body language and most in your word. But attitude is reflected in your action, thinking, the way of tackling challenge and mostly in work. There is a significant difference between WORK and WORD. The word part is of less importance and for a visionary man may be of no importance. But Regardless of context the work is always important.
Behavior is just to fool others to give a fake impression of your existence but attitude is the real value system, your own brainchild which gives a blueprint of your ability and confidence. Behavior is for others and attitude is for yourself. We always say “Attitude Towards Life”, “Attitude Towards Work”, “Attitude Towards Humanity”. And we never say Behavior towards life, work or humanity. Behavior is specific, which varies from person to person. Our behavior may change for one person as compared to other. But our attitude is a constant it can be changed but over a long time and takes a great deal of deliberation. Our attitude lies how we take work, life and all those serious issues for which we are existing. Behavior is more related to heart, attitude is more related to mind. Behavior is a personality trait and have common strings with emotion but attitude is a stand alone identity. None other than u has the right to comment and alter your own attitude, its guided by the self esteem that we carry. But behavior is a fraud way of hypocrisy; it may not be a honest representation. Behavior is always vulnerable and prone to the circumstances but attitude is a shield code which we can’t permit others to intervene

That’s why its called “Positive Attitude” and not “Positive Behavior”.

Truly,
Abinash

... Gandhigiri OR Bhagatgiri..????

Today I read an article in TOI written with pride about Gandhism and the philosophy of Bhagat Singh. The author advocated both sides but finally concluded that in present world nither is valid but a mixture of both can only be fruitful and both have there own context of application!
What I wondered about the conclusion is the author hardly understand the real meaning of "Gandgism" and "The philosophy of Bhagat Singh". In a physical way if we consider these two are not different. Actually both are the offspring of a single mainstream. The main root of both "Gandhi's peace way" and "Bhagat's Inqalab way" are actually the same. Both are form of self indulgance in what you believe in passionately and self restraince from what you find wrong. Both are the supreme form of self guidance and motivation. Both the ways are the form of trust in "Truth". And both are the form of "Heroism".
Here what gandhism means is not just limited to the path of peace. Peace is just the colour of the way and not actually the path or the destiny. The destiny is "TRUTH" and "VICTORY". And the path is self motivated passion. The passion of believing in the strength of inner self and the power of unity.
In the most fundamental rules actually Bhagat Singh's "Inqullab Philosophy" also follows the same path and destiny but with a different colour. They are the great examples of self controlled and self driven men who have laid paths to cherished for ever.
Now lets discuss the topic more logically and with few facts and figures.
What exactly is peace? Is it the absence of violence? No, mere absence of violence is not peace or the path of peace. Rather it is the presence of right justice and respect. Respect to humanity and the ability. Peace is the presence of unity, it is the assembly of men who are self controlled and has real comprihension of what is wrong and what is right.
Now what is peace in the realm of Ganghism? Gangi uphold peace as his standard of fighting. Ganghi worshiped peace as the supreme power and leveraged it in the destruction of British power. So what we understand from this method is "We must be peace full in all aspect and and try to imitate the three monkes by closing our eyes, ears and mouths????" is n't it? But that where we mistake. Peace is actully as per the definition given above not in keeping quite of in restraince but its in raising a finger where ever wrong is being done and in indulgane. Peace is in finding what is right and sticking to it while fighting for it till the end.
In 1947 even Gandhi supported the sending of Soldiers to the border for the battle with Pakistan. Why? Because in that context peace is in eliminatinmg the evil.
So in the logical sequence we can find even Bhagat Singh was also a worshiper of peace but in a different way.

So in the present day society what we should learn as Gandhism or Bhagatism is not peace or violent method but the selfmotivation and controll that they had shown. We must practice peace as the presence of right justice. We must learn to know these philosophy as trust in the inner self and developing the moral standard to decide what is wrong and what is right.
Once we understand this very concept of "self motivation towards the truth" to be the most fundamental rule of Gandhism or Bhagatism then what ever we follow will be fruitful and will ensure peace at the end. So lets stop debating on the two rules which are in reality has the same root and start practicing the fundamentals for the uplift ment of the society, the nation and above all the "self".
Jai Hind.
Truly
Abinash.

SAFAR

Chale the rah par akele...
Kuch khusian kuch gum le kar.
Par jab se mila unka saya,
Laga jiban mein sab kuch paaya.
Mehsoos kiya iss ambar ko apni baahon mein,
Meri duniya hi basi thi unki nigahon mein.
Har din subah laati thi khilti kaliyan, lehrate hawa aur narm kirnein,
Har roz jine ka matlab aur rah mein chalne ka hosla milta tha.
Baaris ki bundon ko sath lea gataon par humj bhi chala karte the,
Unki aahat si mehsoos hoti thi hawa ki har angdai mein,
Humne bhi dekhe the khwab sare.... ke mera bhi ek mukan hoga,
Iss dharti par mera bhi ek jaahan hoga.
Par subhah phire hui aur nind toot gayi,
Ek sapna sa tha woh bhi choot gayi.
Ek chah thgi unko mehsoos karneki,
Ek sapna that unke haath mein haath lea chalne ki,
Par sapne kahan milte he chahat kahan kilte hein?
Aisa laga jaise iss subha ki bhi koi anth ho gai.
Par unka kya kasoor khwab to mere the,
Jo dil mein chupe hasraton ke khilte hue bahare the.
Woh wahan bhi sahio galat yahan hum bhi nahi,
Bas dil ke arma dil mein reh ke mar gaye,
Jate jate kuch dard aur nishan de gaye.
Par rukna mera dharm nahi,
Akela to mein tabh chalatha unka saath to bas ek dil ka saaya tha.
Gum nahi agar woh na mileto manjilein to aur bhi hein paneko.
Par uss dard ka kya karon? Aasoo bhi nahi chupane ko.
Chalo uss uparwale se koi sikba bhi nahi...
Ek dhoondh si sahi par mila to tha unka saaya.
Ab lakshya alag he, Maksad bhi alag, jaana bhi bahat dur hai
Gagan ke uss par, Jiban ki aur.
Ek umeed ki kiran he sayaad us lakshya ki talas mein is dard ko bhuladeinhum.
Akele to tabh bhi chale the akele to abhi chalenge...
sala bhul gaya tha ki manjil toh akela chunatha.
Phir kyu humsafar ki talash thi?

ERROR!!!!

I hate life…. I hate death.

I hate girls…. I hate men.

I hate fun….. I hate to run.

I hate standing still…..

I hate to talk…. I hate keeping quite.

I hate to be accompanied. I hate moving alone.

I hate to rest…. I hate working hard.

I hate myself… I hate U!





I discovered I have been wrong from a society point of view though I have not commited any evil .. have not done any sin. I am reproached by one and all....

Still I will stick to it anyway! If u don’t Like Fcuk Off!!

Poor Saayaris....!!!!

Well I thought I too should try my hands on writing "FRustoo Sayaries" as I am too a promoter and supporter of "Frustooism". And the poor creation goes as below....

"Chup rehneki meine saja he pai.
Jiban mein jaise khamoshi he chai.
Dard mein jina to humne sikh liya,
Par dard kise kehte hein ye tum ne sikhai."
---- wah wah wah wah... ;-)


"Dard to bana he jiban ka saaya.
Jo hume he khoya, wo tumne he paya.
Sath to tum kabhi the hi nahi,
Bas dhundh si thi , use bhi humne suna hai payaa."
----------------------------------- ;-)

"Jiban mein manjilein to humne bhi paayi thi,
Par pata na tha in manjilon par aakar hum rah bhatak jaayenge,
Manjil to khodiya ab to rah bhi gum gai".
---------------------------------------

"Hum aasu to dikhaya nahi karte,
Kyun ki samjhne wale paas hua nahi karte.
Ise pyaar keh kar apne bhi dhutkara...
Phark kya kai jab duniya ne bhi he thokar maara."
------------------------ ;-)

All bye me.
Abinash Sarangi.

Actually I was interested to write something more on all these. But this net operator is asking to buck up so the next time i wil write more.

I wont TITLE it.

It’s a great time for India. The economical growth is best ever. The poverty is lowering at an unprecedented pace. The women are being empowered. The back ward classes has been converted into the leader of the front and many such happenings. But still India is struggling with its status “A developing country”. Why? It seems this status wont change as it has been the same after the independence. And I am too certain it will not change and why should it change at all? A nation is not the roads, rivers, countries, and forests. The real identity of any nation lies in the beauty of its culture, history and people. No doubt we have one of the best cultural heritage. One of the bravest and awesome histories. But the main part is about the present and not at the past that is the hi9story and what we have inherited that is the culture. The present must be strong and well defined. And this is done by the people. Where are they? They are all around but aloof from their own inner self. The most powerful too and weapon Indians ever had was self respect which ensures many others. Respect in self leads to respect in the national. We will feel the “self” feeling for it. But we have lost it some where. Now we only value words and not action.. and that’s why its blatantly reflected in our governing system the political system. Earlier the governing system was lead by the people who believed in the power of action and not words. But it’s the reverse now. It’s the worthless words that value more. But we too don’t have any right to complain, for we have lost our own identity. We never bother what more we can give what we bother about is what others have not given. We never contribute but reproach others for not contributing. And this is not the problem in the national governing or social system of India but its problem every where any sector and field. At the work place we never try to solve the problem but blame others for creating a hindrance. How funny! We never understand the simplest fact, “ Any thing that happens to us never happens with out our consent.”. So if some is a hindrance in progress then its only we who have let him be the hurdle. It’s a matter of mindset. We are suffering from something called “Indian mindset”. It used to be a disease but now its an widespread epidemic. But again its own moral responsibility to change it. To redefine whats an Indian mindset is, if we are left with any self respect. This system needs to be destroyed. I am not talking about the political or the governing system. These are the out come of a great system .. the social system. And the social system needs to be destroyed and reformed. This destruction is not a violent one but it goes in the most peaceful way. We have to destroy and reform the mindsets. Here we do social commitment either to get a social status in others eyes or just out of fear of law. Where our action varies from paying tax to constructing hospitals. But we never do that for our own joy. The day we learn how to be committed joyfully we will succeed unprecedented and the whole world will witness the revolution. For this we need to teach our self the art of giving the best of us. The best in every society. Before raising a finger ask always what there that u can do about it? Whats there that u should have done. And what’s there that the same wont occur any more.
\n\n Its time that e learn we must not fight the disease\nbut the root cause of the dieses the mindsets. We many time boast our culture\nbut seldom we follow the firm pillars of the strong culture. These pillars are\nfaith, and respect. Pity we lack both. But no start is too late , let us start\nrite away. Before we try to change the way the world looks at us we need to\nchange the way we look at ourselves. We have to clean our own eyes before\npolishing the mirror. We always respect and appreciate the laws of other\nnations but never miss the chance to criticize ours. But we forget its not the\nlaws that need to be changed but the people for whom the laws have been formed.\nWe are a democratic nation we enjoy freedom in many sense. But we never value\nit and only exploit it. We say political leaders are bad but what have we done\nto change the bad in to good. Lets come together to change the way it needs to\nbe. Lets change the MINDSETS.\n\n \n\n \n\n \n\n \n\n \n\n \n\n \n\n \n\n \n\n",1]
);
//-->

Its time that e learn we must not fight the disease but the root cause of the dieses the mindsets. We many time boast our culture but seldom we follow the firm pillars of the strong culture. These pillars are faith, and respect. Pity we lack both. But no start is too late , let us start rite away. Before we try to change the way the world looks at us we need to change the way we look at ourselves. We have to clean our own eyes before polishing the mirror. We always respect and appreciate the laws of other nations but never miss the chance to criticize ours. But we forget its not the laws that need to be changed but the people for whom the laws have been formed. We are a democratic nation we enjoy freedom in many sense. But we never value it and only exploit it. We say political leaders are bad but what have we done to change the bad in to good. Lets come together to change the way it needs to be. Lets change the MINDSETS.

Virtue less Life Is A Moral Evil...

We live and move forward. But what drives us? What’s that keeps us going? It’s a purpose! A purpose that evolves from our desire and it’s a purpose that comes from within, from us. None other then the “self” can ever understand and value this purpose. But in this present social system we live with other values. Rite from the birth we r taught to adopt and accept the codes of society with out judgment. And we do. But then we become exploiters in a different way! We exploit the potent and the able. We denounce their supremacy and rebuke them. But for a real man, a man of courage and for the man whose aim is moral happiness it has no meaning. His happiness lies well inside him. He is the real independent man.

We talk about freedom and independence in all of our act but we are yet to understand it. Freedom in the materialistic world is as hypothetical as it is. The only freedom that is possible is of thought. Mental freedom; no one how potent and powerful may be can ever manipulate and rule our process of thought. No one can restrict you from thinking. That’s the truest form of freedom. But the in this inherent social system we let others invade it even. We find pleasure in letting others destroy our own independence of thought. We want them to appreciate us. We derive happiness from that. We enjoy envy in others eye and we love the moral suffering of others. We forget our own very code of values and code of life. We adapt to theirs. We in the name of caring actually enjoy seeing them dependent; dependent on us. We feel the pride in that. We make others parasites. And as the greatest sinners we feed them. But what is the moral purpose of there existence? Why they live at all? They live just to follow the existing trend of inheriting and manipulating the creation of ability. They all work hard not to create but to use what has been created. Not to set example by action but to follow the example to imitate and be admired. They live not in themselves but in the presence of the others for whom they are mental feeders.

The most viler evil then to murder a man is to sell him suicide as a virtue. And it comes with us when we become the desperate need of the incompetent for there very existence. But we must find a purpose and proceed to achieve it in virtue. But then what virtue is? Virtue is the set of values which gives us the ability to decide what is right and wrong. And what is perfect. They what can be the purest of virtue in the world? The world is relative nothing can be correct in all contexts and hold good for every one. Then does this logic denies the existence of virtue? No. The only thing that is perfect and correct is ability and its creation. The creation of ability is virtue. Knowledge is virtue. Reasoning is virtue. We created computer. In the process in every step there were only to options : right or wrong. Before plugging in something we decide if its right or wrong, which remains the same every where universally. We don’t put a component in the wrong place for the correct place is same in all context with out difference. This decision and the knowledge to decide is virtue. And life’s purpose is virtue. Creation and not submission.

We can strive and use our values to let the underprivileged learn to live. We can add value to the society in making it a better place. But for that we must kill these moral parasites. We must induce self respect in every human to let the system change for good. In the process I may be called as selfish for the courage to act on my own decision and to live with my own sufferings. But then WHO CARES????

Improvement Time.....!!

I realized its high time now I must act as per the plans now. I am going to create a company now in a couple of week. As I am the single employee so it will take around a months time to develop the infrastructure and the technical back bone too. But surely its half way done as I have got the Required web space and the licence today. It costs me around Rs 4000/- so to start a company with Rs 4000/- is not a bad idea at all is n't it. Well It will be some online......... I wont say this before hand. Just wait a month and then the real bang would come around.
What pains is that now I sleep for 6 hrs a day but now on for the next one month... I may not get that much time too! May be I will cut it short to 4 hrs. How ever I need co-operation of u all. So be right there to celebrate the opening ceremony! That would be online too.......
Me yaar... thew So called Abinash.

My "ORKUT" ProFiLe.......

TODAY I HAVE DECIDED TO DELETE EVERYTHING FROM MY PROFILE........ AND HERE I GO..... 10..9...8....7...6....5....4...3......2 . .....1 ..... Bang......

Just ME

Can death stop me? Can time constraint me? Can I be killed?
Can I be defeated? Can I be made to quit? Can I be changed?
Can I be hurt? Na na na.... for all these to happen u need my consent.
I am stoic, I am indifferent, I m esoteric and I m inbuilt"

The (My Type) Girls....!!!!

Its Bangalore after all! I was asked yesterday why don't u have a girl friend?! I wondered why at all it bothers that fellow. But Then I answered I don't know ..... may be I m yet to settle with a girl of my type. But then he fired back "Whats ur type any way?"...
Though I didn't answer him but I am jotting down here. Kya kare poor fella.
- When I take a quick round tour in this busy city I find loadz of (so called) smart gals. Aha!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Good Looks....!
Cat walk.....
Coloured hair...
Broad mind....
mini skirt......
--------------------------------------------------------------------
exposed cleavage...
Arogant behavior.....
This is how u find gals all around and boys hankering after them! But I would put no comment.... its their life they live as per their wish hwo the hail I m to raise a finger. But certainly I can denounce this to get a self acknowledgement for my choice... thats girl of my type...
It goes as below...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Sweet looks....
Confident walk....
Intelligent smile....
Smart approach....
Cultured behavior ....
Open mind................
And a salwar kamij......
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Any way I wont tag any one with this criteria yet! But I would appreciate if some one tag herself...!!
Now don't give it shit ... as I have not told u to read it its u who typed in the URL and have been reading this crap since last few minutes.. Just kidding!
Bye!
Abinash

My fiRsT lOvE lEtTeR !!!!

This is just to tell u that I love you! I am weak at something called emotion so may it be considered as an emotional or emotionless letter; up to the reader.
This proposal of love is not about growing dependent on each other but to be independent of everything. This is a proposal to found a relation which can grow beyond the social understanding to come out as an eternal philosophy. I don’t know if u like me or not or lets say if u love me or not but your acceptance wont please me and your rejection wont hurt me for regardless of your decision the fact that I love you stands like an iron wall unaltered. But certainly your positive acknowledgement would re-enforce my act with satisfaction and can be a fuel for my life. I don’t want you to act for me in my failure there is no point in growing parasite.... but of course I need some one who is always there at the other side of the tunnel to welcome me into the world of light. I need you desperately! Our love will not be limited to the generic meaning.... but it will rise to an unprecedented height where we can serve a common purpose in the path called life. This will lay foundation to an everlasting faith and will where we can take pain as pleasure and flank these materialistic limitations.
I love you because you r the only one who can understand my priorities let me understand yours. I love you because you r the only one who can play life and you r the only one who can understand this letter.

Love you ever!

Abinash……..!!!!

Just none

I move then I stop... I stop then I see.... I see then I hear..... I hear then I speak.... I speak then act..... I act then its LIFE!!




All my deeds r absurd. All my needs r nonsense. All I think is crap. All I say is nuts. Still I m not crazy.... still I m not crazy.


The judgement for any of my act of being practical depends on what I wish to practice!!!!

.................... By Abinash Sarangi.

A bad writing

Chi!!!! The below written article "Love way......" stinks. Its so badly written. eehi... I never liked it. When started I had something else in mind but I finished up with something else! I m always weak at these love theories...!!!! I don't know why may be because no ome loves me the love way!

The Love Way....

It was yesterday while getting back to home from office in the cool and comfortable cab I started thinking about these songs. Music is eternal and one of the greatest gifts of nature. Now thats what natural music is.... then comes the music we usually here. Its the hindi movie/pop songs and also the english rocks/jazz/ mild rock ... etc. How ever if any one peep into the lyrics of all these songs then can find out these music has nothing but love theme in common.
Who ever may be the singer what ever may be the intension ... the basic build up is the same love theme. We all accept music is an integral part of like.... again life is an integral part of society. If love becomes not an integral part but everything of music is it not implicit that love also becomes more than an integral part of life and society!! But we all accept it in different ways. We never try to find the root meaning of love ..... we just revolve around a (if fortunate) good looking or smart or attractive person of the opposite sex saying," I love you!". Is that love? Nah probably. Now if u say we do maore than just saying it, I would ask what? And many comes up with the answers ," we care for each other, we live and die for each other we always try to be happy and again we always help each other in need and above all we love ." But then something blows a fight on it. Keeping happy is with in u. Its the weapon and strength of the brave. The motto of life is "Eternal moral happiness.." And u can't get that by just making love. Love is just the way to the targer and all the described attributes of love r just the trees and attractive decorations that come along the way but we never move forward once we get on the road. But in reality leverage love to achieve the targets. Love each others dreams. Understanding each others requirements and believe in the beauty of each others dream.
Well it has been a boring writing any way.......

Me too lazy.....

Its around 3:00 A.M. in the morning or dawn u can say that I m writing it. Well now my lazyness took over and I will write it tomorrow... sorry!!!! But I will some good stuff tomorrow. Certainly.

At last I got my first break through.....

Today I got my first ever job with a nice company which deals with financial management softwares and has a very nice work culture. I was selected as a software engineer there. Its just feels so good I just can't express. I will b trained in either C#.NET + Oracle or MAINFRAME. Its really amazing..... and definitely I will work committedly to the fullest of my ability. Earlier in the BSW Soft I got back from the GD with out speaking a word just because I did not like them and there was some mismatch. But then I understood actually it was my individualistic approach that compelled me to do so. How ever its the start of what I deam of. I need to work harder ..... with no rest.... for just now I got the bus earlier had missed. This is like a never before chance to make a sound come back to the warfield of life with sofisticated armors. I can't afford to miss the timing again.. i need to be proactive enough and act like a real me now.....
Cheerio
Abinash

.........................Its Blank.........................

hhhmm.... So? I was supposed to be the champion but I settled happyly with a runner up. I was supposed to run but prefered walking. I was supposed to act but I only reacted. I was suppoed speak but I kept quite. I was suppoed to be present but I was absent. I was supposed to be colourful but I liked to be binary.
But now I m expected to be asleep but I like staying awake. Now I m expected to be dormant but I like to be active. Now I m expected to end up last but I would start first and end up unbeaten. Now I m expected to give up but that is when I gripp up. Now I m expected not to be me........ but that is when I have gained the truest of my form.

A kash ke hum........

Yun to chal pade the rah par akele...
Jindagi kosang lekar, bas ek rehgujar bankar...
Rah mein mile hum unse......
woh to chal diye jingagi ka matlab samjhakar....
par hum na bhulenge jabtak rahega dum....
Bas kehte hain ab "a kash ke hum..."

The change and the commitment

Thought to write a lot today but some thing puts brake on my thought. Then I realize.... I have given up writing . I wont write for me any more. !! Sorry.

GOAL V/S AIM

I find people behaving strangely when it comes to comment on what they exactly want to do. A similar question I too faced. What is aim in life? Then I pondered to find the answer to this. I asked many people the same question "whats their aim in life?" Then I got the reply.. I want to be a successful manager, Successful engineer, successful entrepreneur. Few said to be a man of values and some to be what their parents want. But then a second question striked me and I fired it on them.. “What is their goal in life?”. Many ended up saying these r invariant and pretty similar. So whats their aim, is their goal too!!
But I gave it a second thought to discover this: goal is what we “ACHIEVE” . Achieve for others sake and to fulfill ours as well as others need. But aim is solely our property, a cherished dream of our ability, will and intellect. And aim is what we “ACOMPLISH”. Aim usually not of any material significance. Goal pays us back wealth and admiration. But aim gives us satisfaction and fame. Goal is achieved working “selflessly” with a “selfish motive”. Aim is accomplished working “self concentrated” with a “selfless motive”. Don’t get foxed let me clear my point with an example.
Some one sees a coconut tree with coconuts every season. He takes it the way he want and never likes the fruits being wasted . So he decided to utilize it. The he finds two purposes: 1) To reach the height so that he can do what he wanted with the coconut. 2) To utilize the coconut. The first point becomes his goal. And the second point is his aim. He uses ladder or he climbs up the tree… or may find many other ways to reach the same place, same height. That’s what we aspire and target to achieve the “GOAL”. Then we give a bit more to it to accomplish our intention, our “AIM”. So GOAL can be defined as “ The platform we build or aspire for in life, on which we can accomplish our aim.” And aim is what we accomplish on that platform. But pity is that many never have anything called a aim.. all they remain busy for is the goal. Something like we waste the whole day deciding which train to board, when to start and how to start never knowing why we board the train and where we intend to go!!!!

Lets have an aim a purpose to add value to the society and enhance the standard of like lets start living for ourselves. Lets have an AIm.

Just a poem

God has not promised
skies always blue.
flower strewn pathways all our life through.
God has not promised
sun without rain
joy with out sorrow... peace with out pain .
But god has promised
strength for the day
rest for the labour
and light for the way.!

In the flow

It is the flow of time

I swim against the stream,

but the torbulen, vicious force...

shakes me and dgars me back.

But then I start again...
with more of me..

Then I swim, fight and forward...

with all of me!!

My act

It is the world .......

That I m out to grab;

Taking in my palm to smell it... feel it,

And give it my shape.

It is the air ....

That I m out to embrace....

To kiss it, to see it..

leaving no trace.

It is the sky...

That I bounce to touch;

to fill it with my colour...
It is the stars...

That I run to collect to store in my eyes...

To feel their warmth and decorate my dream.

And it is me who is out insearch of "myself".

Life is wonderfull

This afternoon when I completed my nap and woke up... to the surprise of my knowledge I found myself in a new state. Realeased of all tension, all agony, all variety of nagative thoughts. I found myself with a cool and free mindset. Thats what I thought ... I earned and learned from the re-reading of one of my hot favorite "The Alchemist" By Paulocoelho. We shoot for many things and many times we fall. But thats never the end its just an omen. The omen is of two type .. one which tells us we r not made for it. And the other is to convey us that we r not yet ready for it. So need to prepare again. All we need to do is to believe in the strength of our dream. Failure or pain is just a matter of time life does not stuck there. We need to enagige our dream.. we need to re-inforse our passion for it..we need to dare again.. and then we win. Then we r rewarded with the best of reward. Then we achieve our dream. We must see the silver lining in the black cloud and the pleasure of rain not the flood. Thats what I need to see. And now on I would undergo a little transformation. then I say with all my heart: "I DO".

The spirit of "youth"??

It has been 5 days since I have stepped out of S3 coach of the train. And yesterday was my first interaction with Bangalore as I visited FORUM and few other shopping malls. Here life runs at a first track. What I like is the energetic young crowd. The youth r running at their own pace waiting for none. The embience is full with the aroma of perfumes and deos. The looks r so trendy that each of them is making a different fashion statement. Fashion, lights, scents, essense, and masti r the way of what they call "life". But what i didnot like is every one is following each other in one or other way and the r actually not moving forward in a way instead they r looping in a circle. It seems its a run, a development in some way but what i find to my disbelief is that its just a constant in disguise!! I like the way they pretend to have a open mind! But with a closed heart. In fact heart is just a subset of what our mind thinks! So let me say The chaps r always preoccupied with a "so called" busy life and pretend to have mastered "time". Many of them don't understand how badly they r behaving as they wear a mask overlooking anything that is real!
Any way letc enjoy life and we will certainly fulfill its demands.
Abinash

An odyssey of "self"

Today I started acting as per the time need and not mine and landed on the IT hub Bangalore. The city as i found is on the run... busy all the way and all the time. No one has got time for anything.... but chasing not after their dreams or going not closer to their self. But chasing after something weird which they too don't know and it take them away from "themselfs". A diffrent life. The best way to love others is to love oneself... the best way to help others is to help himself and the best way to make others win is to never let himself to loose. But here we r running away from the so called "SELF". How funny is not it? The time I took the first step I found a repultion and a hesitation some where inside I don't know why! I will find it out tonight however.
i need to work on many thongs if at all I want a distinct place here in the busy crowd and I will. The trying factor is something I like very much about humans... there is vartually no limit to the extent to which one can try. Lets c and lets play. Lets set rules not to be followed by others but ourselfs. Lets find a perfect place for us in this crowded city. Lets BANGALORE.

The first day!!!

I landed on the mysterycal land of so called software heaven "Bangalore" today. Any way I added myself to the greatest community of youths who come down to this place insearch of a job or lets say it in their language a career. However I hare not in search of a career or a job but to fulfill times requirement. I need to spend time on myself. I need to invest in myself. I got to work for myself thats all i realised when I took the first ever step here. but did not like the place at the first sight but certainly I would feel good in the course of time .
Will write more soon!!!!

Triumph----- a spirit

Dear, Its a poem written for victory, for an ideal man who wins not on others weakness but for his strength. Its for those who believe in the strength of their dream --a vision which can lead them to a point where the world is ideal and sees the "TRIUMPHANT".


He can not stop, he can not quit He the invinsible,
the victrious The man with vision ,the man with a spirit !
He can not be defeated, he can not be destroyed
He is the the real man with a spirit.
The destiny is too close to quit, the time is too short to rest
The aim is so high the vision is so strong that the world seems thin................
Oh the victrious man u r born to win.
The nature tests him to the limits before handing the destiny over.........
for he is armed with vision, courage and a will.
He fights not his enemy but his friends.....
he fights not the present but the past!
For him the world is cruel the society is unreal!
For him love is sacrifice ...love is a soul and not the hollow desire.
He wins at last and the world sees his life becoming a firm philosophy...... beyond their comprehension.....
For him ego is a virtue and reasoning is the supreme ability.
He is the one who stands time
For this world his virtue is a social crime
He creates his own path , he creates his own world.....
he the creator.
And at last the man...the spirit.....and the philosophy wins.......
for they are born to win!!

Now I m faced with the most difficult question: "what next?". How come the world expects u to know the future... why do yhey expect u to have masterd tomorrow! Don't know. but I m going to Bangalore not because I m desperate about getting a JOB or my career but just here life is difficult and I find no cause to be inpetient. I m going to Bangalore not for a CAREER but for just a JOB. My career is something else and it can be build from any where.... and just that.
Lets play "LIFE".
Bye
Abinash

Just a writing

Well "life goes on and time continues". Its about going to be month's time since I have left campus. i dont feel nostalgic about that now but certainly when i look back it gives me a glimpse of the hours I wasted and utlized. Any way these days I got back my confidence and the rythm that I had. It really feels good. I m in touch with just few friends for I was mentally aware that those who gonna have contacts afterwards r different people. Thats why I never gave a diary to any one to write nor I showed interest in writing. Lets c how long does it go along. I got the reservation for Bangalore. Now people have started asking what r doing "now" I say I m doing nothing but busy. I have been defencive so far but now on iwill play life at front foot.
Lets c. Bye.
Abinash

"It is I"

In the beginning this(universe) was the self alone, in the shape of a person. He reflected and saw nothing else but his self. He first sais, "I am He". Therefore, he came to be known by the name I (Aham). Hence, even now when a person is addressed he first says "IT IS I", and then says what ever other name he may have.

"It is I"

"In the beginning, this (universe)was the self alone, in the shape of a person. He reflected and saw nothing else but his self. He first said, "I am he". Therefore, he came to be known by the name "I (Aham)". hence, even now when a person is addressed, he first says, "it is I", and then says whatever other name he may have.

-----Brihdranyaha Upanishad.

ANALOGY::by-me

Great genius Albert Einstein proved this world to be a relative one following some rules of relativity and having some constraints. Hats off to that visionary genius.
It sounds paradoxical that the non physical things r more relative than the physical substance. We assume some one to be an intelligent person with respect to some one. We say some one is good relative to another. All these mental attributes r relative. So we and our thoughts r also relative.
We say a point is something which has no dimension and hence we can't put a definition for it. But we define a straight line as an one dimensional collection of points. Points?? But have not we just concluded that point has no definition; how come we can define something as a collection of something which it self is undefined. Isn't that weird. Again we say a plane is a collection of these points spreading infinitesimally. How come? If something has no dimension how can we assume its collection would make any sense? Worth's some thinking.
Now come to human attitude. We will make a geometrical analogy of it. If we r single minded and have a single character it hardly make any sense like a point but if we have a collection of such characters then is will be like a straight-line. But compare the straight line with a plane .....the straight-line is blank isn't it? So we still need to be versatile and have more firm characters to make some sense. But isn't a plane blank as compared to the 3-dimetional cube; yes its blank. That means there is not a limit to the point we can grow our character attributes. To make us mark able we need MULTIDIMENSIONAL growth of CHARACTER. Then only we r distinct .
So, we can conclude 2 points from the above analogy.
1) We need to grow in multiple dimetion with multiple abilities to match up life's indefinite requirements.
2) And most importantly we must not neglect any event or any thing because its small. the point is that it has some significance, up on which we can build on. Like a small dimensionless point builds a straight line which in turn builds a plane and ultimately the plane build the cube which is full.
Cheerio
Abinash Sarangi

C' est la vae!--Thats life.......

Destiny is a choice and not a chance!
Certainly it’s a choice….we choose it. But today I realize my destiny remains the same that I had chosen in the early days of my enginnering degree..and then in the course of time I decided upon the path that I would choose to get there. But now its different time has played its trick again and I m left with none but one choice thats a forced path not the one I had chosen or I would be happy with. The path is one that was the last in mind. Still I have to move forward. It needs courage I lack it, it needs a firm grip I loose it, all it needs is me I m missing of myself…but I will make a come back….for raising after a fall takes a brave winner…and that’s what my destiny soughts after. Some times it makes me so depressed that I become unable to help myself. But thats not the way I m supposed to behave nor the way my attitude proposes me to act. I cant go against my ineer voice and I stop pondering for the cause. My attitude has its own virtue and a punch line : “ A real man is one who can take adversity as a pleasure and convert failure into a land mark success.” But then the undergrown youth inside me speaks up and takes over with out any resistance…and I m left fighting him. It cries at the top of its voice “why this world makes the path and the decision difficult for him. Why they have started a battle against him and named it a crusade. Why at all??” Then I fight back and control this typical emotion for it make me weak and goes against my philosophy. But its then I find it standing there speaking not even a single word and making its silence presence audible more loudly.

"I m fighting a nonsense fight with my own sense.
I ask myself but....

alas silense speaks so loudly that it goes ultrasonic and I m left unanswered...why? why?.."

THE POLITICAL MESS HERE

The acceleration of time is accelerating. And with moment that passes we get farther from out ideal self. Every where change it taking place at a faster pace like never. We all we forget them like every time. Sonia Gandhi showed her firm stand and courage quiting the posts. How this world look at woman hood?? The way the common indians look is definitely preety sad. The just can't tolerate a woman leading man any way. But time has spoken and its the time where the potent can only lead leaving all others behind. Its not that people are doing all these sort of activities for they r patriots or the real leaders ...but I would like to use the term coined by Thomas L. Freidman for George W. Bush...."leadfingt by bad example." The indian leaders who r leader of wods and not work not set bad examples. The forget people like Mahatma Gandhi has ever walked this land. They forget....." EMPIRES CAN BE BUILT EVEN WITH A WALKING STICK, WHERE SOME TIMES EVEN THE ARMY FAILS"

The time I will miss......

I will miss the first day I spent in black and white.

I will miss the first day which was pretty bright.

I will miss running after the busses…….

I will miss “bunking classes”….

I will miss mocking in the class..

I will miss GIET written in brass…

I will miss the benches ……Where we carved many pictures ….

I will miss the girls …often called beautiful structures.

I will miss studying…late in the night …

I will miss the exams which make us tight…

I will miss flunking the regular class test….

I will miss the sessionals which gave me no rest.

I will miss the afternoon classes where we sleep…

I will miss the Profs who awake us and asks to leave.

I will miss the coolant which was always hot…

I will miss the basket ball court where I never made a perfect shot.

I will miss the jokes in the class we crack…

I will miss chasing girls in the brakes…

I will miss the doomed internet lab…

I will miss complaining at AO sir’s small cab….

I will miss walking on the bypass road bare foot…

I will miss scaring the black brute.

I will miss the hostel terrace….

Where we plan our next day and make them perish.

I will miss the “mishri pani”, the sodha and the account at “bhaina dukaan”

I will miss screaming in real insane.

I will miss the Shiva tea stall….

I will miss the tiffin thella where we used to scroll….

I will miss the gate, the main building and the pentagon…..

I will miss the sweet funny times which seem to be gone…

But the time never comes again…

And we live with the memories that remain.

We all will miss being GIEian.

I will miss this place for here I got my best friends…best moments and the sense…

”buddies for life”

The first Note

Just now I completed this new version of my blog site. Its my online diary where I want to express my hidden emotions. I m mentally taugh but as a human I m not indiferent to many emotions.