"You deserve the best" she declared. Looking right into the eyes. I guess she was looking for her own image in my eyes. I don't remember taking breath, with my eyes transfixed into hers. Tiny black eyes, carrying thousand large dreams. The small droplet in there told the saga of love they carried. She loves my eyes she would say. I will smile, at her, at what she said. I wanted to speak with unbound emotion but restrained. I wanted to say, I don't love your eye. Only. I love the tiny black pupil where I find my self reside. Like a black pearl on a white fur. I love the small droplets that moist your eye just to magnify the beauty. I love the eye lashes curved to perfection, to protect the dreams. I love the way she moves her eyes in almost slow motion and I follow is all along. Not to let go even a single glance. Its precious to me.And she looks back, with the same reassuring love. Oh the pleasure. And I behold it for eternity.
Truly
Abinash
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
A morning magic
The door is always kept ajar. The morning ray would stealth through it and awake me every day. I will wake up with half closed eyes. Half closed because the desire to get cozier under the blanket is too irresistible. Then the half open eyes take over the closed counterpart. Half open because it can see the morning ray, the golden stream spread across, my face. But then I prefer to hold back for a while. Hastily looking for the mobile just to see if an sms has beeped unnoticed. For its she who would take over my conscious mind inevitably. Her face will run through both my eyes. Closed and open. She lives in me, all the time. I will smile at myself. Try to recollect each word of the conversation we would have had the last night. Each word she had written I would try to hear with her voice speaking in my ears. I could almost feel her whispering. Her soft words touching me right at my heart. I forget its morning. I forget its wake up time.
I stay back. She filled in each part of my life.
Suddenly I realize I am already late for office. :)
Truly
Abinash
I stay back. She filled in each part of my life.
Suddenly I realize I am already late for office. :)
Truly
Abinash
Saturday, December 20, 2008
A trust I lost
Not many times I do it. Not even once in a while. Last I felt my cheeks
wet, eyes closed, mind blank and lips trembling some years back on what I
don't remember.
Standing at the edge of the balcony, facing the chilly wind with bare body
gave a soothing pleasure as I felt the salty liquid on my tongue, running
all the way from the eyes, like a moist fountain coming to life. A respect lost, a trust lost. The birth of tear take the deaths of many. Trust, respect, smiles, love. To live is to stand by a code, a code of values. It was a great day till then. When suddenly it perished. Turned around staring right at my face, laughing at my helpless disposition. I felt nothing, no pain, no chill of the winter, no danger of falling, no sense of love, no sense of loathe, just a cord of apathy. I moved back. few steps to a safer position, to realize the fountain had died again. And no more I could feel the salty taste on my tongue. The mark of tear remained like a scar on earth's face by a dead river in a summer too hot to survive. The river succumbed, so as the tears. I moved back, smiled. Shrugged off everything in the hope tomorrow I will revive the day. The same way like yesterday and wont let the dark win. Never. I wont be a looser tomorrow. My lost faith was nonexistence. Its dead now, with the passing day. It will revive. It will reborn. I am not giving up. My trust and love will rejoice again. With sunrise, like the sunshine.
wet, eyes closed, mind blank and lips trembling some years back on what I
don't remember.
Standing at the edge of the balcony, facing the chilly wind with bare body
gave a soothing pleasure as I felt the salty liquid on my tongue, running
all the way from the eyes, like a moist fountain coming to life. A respect lost, a trust lost. The birth of tear take the deaths of many. Trust, respect, smiles, love. To live is to stand by a code, a code of values. It was a great day till then. When suddenly it perished. Turned around staring right at my face, laughing at my helpless disposition. I felt nothing, no pain, no chill of the winter, no danger of falling, no sense of love, no sense of loathe, just a cord of apathy. I moved back. few steps to a safer position, to realize the fountain had died again. And no more I could feel the salty taste on my tongue. The mark of tear remained like a scar on earth's face by a dead river in a summer too hot to survive. The river succumbed, so as the tears. I moved back, smiled. Shrugged off everything in the hope tomorrow I will revive the day. The same way like yesterday and wont let the dark win. Never. I wont be a looser tomorrow. My lost faith was nonexistence. Its dead now, with the passing day. It will revive. It will reborn. I am not giving up. My trust and love will rejoice again. With sunrise, like the sunshine.
Monday, December 01, 2008
The fight, the smile and the day
She usually does not speak. So I make things unusual to make her speak. In my way. Fighting over nonsense issue, or just nonsense to be more accurate. Complaining over and over on the same monotonous mistakes, or just an act to be more accurate. Pampering her. Always. Overriding her on every small things. They she speaks; she speaks with conviction. And I just stare on. Smiling. With the pretension to be listening to her carefully but no word would enter me. Just the soothing voice, a song for me, I get possessed. She suddenly finishes, her explanations. Deliberation to convince me. In vain. She knows I can only be self convinced. She even knows I don't listen her explanation. I am thoughtful she believes, when she speaks. But am not. I am actually thoughtless. For I am obsessed with something else. Her. Her smile. Here eyes.
The day ends we bid adieu. The next day comes for her the next morning. For me the last day never ends, it just gets little prolonged, little too prolonged. And I start my prolonged day in a dream as she starts in a reality. And it all happen again. The fight, the day, the obsession and the prolongation.
Truly
Abinash
The day ends we bid adieu. The next day comes for her the next morning. For me the last day never ends, it just gets little prolonged, little too prolonged. And I start my prolonged day in a dream as she starts in a reality. And it all happen again. The fight, the day, the obsession and the prolongation.
Truly
Abinash
Sunday, November 30, 2008
New blog launched
Hi All there,
Have created a new blog (http://amorphouscrystal.blogspot.com/) with first ever post in it.
It will contain analysis of current events of my interest.
Check it out Here
Truly
Abinash
Have created a new blog (http://amorphouscrystal.blogspot.com/) with first ever post in it.
It will contain analysis of current events of my interest.
Check it out Here
Truly
Abinash
Friday, November 21, 2008
An evening, with her and with nothing
It was a silent evening. Little chill which can actually give the sense of warmth.
A little silence which can give the sense of calmness. People, the colors, the chill wind, the shinning lights, the starry sky and the full moon, rendered in perfection just to meet my imagination. I was restless to out reach myself. It was she who was waiting for me. I stepped up, and my eyes met hers. She was looking indirectly which was too direct to be resistible. Like always at her sight, my heart out pace itself, face became bright and the lips half open in anticipation. She remained calm and indifferent. Like always. I sat looking into her eyes. The bright face, the neatly done hair, the glow filled clothes, the weird nail polish, the smiling eyes. I wished I could behold them for ever, like this in a silent moment where it belonged to me. Only me. I took my eyes off her playing a stroke on my lips, almost a smile. I remained in the joy like my nerves had lost the apparent consciousness. Swam to and fro in that small moment I wish I could spend my life in that tiny space. I jerked back to reality, the noise playing a random symphony, the still image of crowd moving fast. And she looking away with the same indifference.
I smiled again. But It made all difference to me. To me it was few of the best moments for rest of my small life. To which she is indifferent might be.
And it was a time when anything meant absolutely nothing.
Truly
Abinash
A little silence which can give the sense of calmness. People, the colors, the chill wind, the shinning lights, the starry sky and the full moon, rendered in perfection just to meet my imagination. I was restless to out reach myself. It was she who was waiting for me. I stepped up, and my eyes met hers. She was looking indirectly which was too direct to be resistible. Like always at her sight, my heart out pace itself, face became bright and the lips half open in anticipation. She remained calm and indifferent. Like always. I sat looking into her eyes. The bright face, the neatly done hair, the glow filled clothes, the weird nail polish, the smiling eyes. I wished I could behold them for ever, like this in a silent moment where it belonged to me. Only me. I took my eyes off her playing a stroke on my lips, almost a smile. I remained in the joy like my nerves had lost the apparent consciousness. Swam to and fro in that small moment I wish I could spend my life in that tiny space. I jerked back to reality, the noise playing a random symphony, the still image of crowd moving fast. And she looking away with the same indifference.
I smiled again. But It made all difference to me. To me it was few of the best moments for rest of my small life. To which she is indifferent might be.
And it was a time when anything meant absolutely nothing.
Truly
Abinash
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Being outsider
Its a weird feeling. The feeling of being an outsider or worst of being an intruder. Life is like sphere. Soap bubbles in the air.. fundamentally free but practically bound by gravity. And the miracles happen and these bubbles merge to create a yet bigger bubble, merging their life and merging their horizons. But there exist people like who just stay on, being just an on looker. And suddenly driven by this irresistible desire to bump into some one'e life, the sphere. By own choice. But as soon as you realize the other life has no value for your choice, you forget the choice was yours. It hurts then. It hurts in an unending way. You are left stranded, just looking at from outside, with no strings attached, by yourself. Like the bubble heading to merge but just collided and bounced back. Being outsider.
The sense is painful. At times too overwhelming to be circumvented and you just succumb to it.
You remain an outsider, or an intruder, with dying out desires and failed dreams. Half drowned wishes and gloomy smiles.
Still you are the driver of your own life, and you can drive the bubble away from the gravity of the other. Just moving on in the search of, may be, self.
Friday, October 31, 2008
My idle mind :)
Well goes the well known adage "An idle mind is devils workshop".
I realized my idle mind is her workshop. :) Not idle actually to be honest. She is there in my working mind as well. Now its debatable when my mind is working and when its idle. Appreciate my honesty for it that I proclaim the confusing status of my mind. :) But almost every time I am conscious of my thoughts I find my self pondering on her. So not quite surprisingly my mind is mostly idle.
I see a lot of imagery and I am the director. But a director driven by the fantasies of her. The same familiar and lovable face with that I-can-die-for-it smile. The same way of looking from the corner of her eyes. The same way blushing when I smile back at her. And all at my personal space of mind.
I choose to be idle. I choose to be driven. I choose to be with her for ever.
I realized my idle mind is her workshop. :) Not idle actually to be honest. She is there in my working mind as well. Now its debatable when my mind is working and when its idle. Appreciate my honesty for it that I proclaim the confusing status of my mind. :) But almost every time I am conscious of my thoughts I find my self pondering on her. So not quite surprisingly my mind is mostly idle.
I see a lot of imagery and I am the director. But a director driven by the fantasies of her. The same familiar and lovable face with that I-can-die-for-it smile. The same way of looking from the corner of her eyes. The same way blushing when I smile back at her. And all at my personal space of mind.
I choose to be idle. I choose to be driven. I choose to be with her for ever.
Fire, light and smoke
The sounds were screaming in my ears. The lights lighting my eyes. I could see smoke and noise around. People rushing form one end to other. Running off the spot.
The place soon became darker,as soon as the sound died out leaving only numb ears.
The place looked scattered. I could see a torn piece of cloth lying orphan in the fading smoke. The numb ear responded to the cry of a child who could hardly speak.
I took my eyes off it and put it back on the fire and the smoke. The light was deem and the smoke no more. Then the next instant it came all over again. A few steps far from the earlier. The fire, the light, the smoke and the ear numbing sound.
I was standing on my terrace looking down how the boys were exploding the fire crackers in joy in the eve of diwali. :)
Truly
Abinash
The place soon became darker,as soon as the sound died out leaving only numb ears.
The place looked scattered. I could see a torn piece of cloth lying orphan in the fading smoke. The numb ear responded to the cry of a child who could hardly speak.
I took my eyes off it and put it back on the fire and the smoke. The light was deem and the smoke no more. Then the next instant it came all over again. A few steps far from the earlier. The fire, the light, the smoke and the ear numbing sound.
I was standing on my terrace looking down how the boys were exploding the fire crackers in joy in the eve of diwali. :)
Truly
Abinash
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Still Lost
In the late evening, or early morning. In the broad day light or in the night's darkest side. Amidst a million people or marooned in an island. The sense is as intense as its now. The sense of this shadowy feeling. The feeling of being lively.
A repulsive desire drifts me in an garbled fashion. And I feel lost. lost between dreams and reality. Love and rejection. Smile and frown. A node of yes and a node of no. A self too fragile and a self too strong. A life with her and a life alone. A day with her and a day in empty thoughts. A hope and a realization.
But all that remains is the fact I fell lost. I look too despicable. I jerk back to reality. I jerk back to now. Leaving the sweetness of the fantasies alone marooned in some isolation. Her being would clearly transit form reality to just a desire, from I reached her to I am lost. I jerk back to reality and I move on. Smiling. Still Lost. :)
Truly
Abinash
A repulsive desire drifts me in an garbled fashion. And I feel lost. lost between dreams and reality. Love and rejection. Smile and frown. A node of yes and a node of no. A self too fragile and a self too strong. A life with her and a life alone. A day with her and a day in empty thoughts. A hope and a realization.
But all that remains is the fact I fell lost. I look too despicable. I jerk back to reality. I jerk back to now. Leaving the sweetness of the fantasies alone marooned in some isolation. Her being would clearly transit form reality to just a desire, from I reached her to I am lost. I jerk back to reality and I move on. Smiling. Still Lost. :)
Truly
Abinash
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Of late is often too late
The realization that comes in of late are often too late. The feeling of not being some one's first love or not being love at all. The sense of being pitied. The feeling of not being so charming. The sense of rejection. The worries of perpetuation. The declined happiness. The loneliness. The refuge in solitude. The sense that you are just as volatile at some one's heart who is as permanent and constant at yours. But things happen, like anything else. Things change and take different shape like everything else. Life is as weird as it is. And you at some point in future would look back at it, what you now call present. Then nothing would remain neither this pain nor this emptiness. But you would give a smile, just a smile at yourself. and you will move on. Thats life, strange, wild and deep. But some feelings that comes of late are never too late.. like the realization "even this will pass".
Truly
Abinash
Truly
Abinash
Friday, September 19, 2008
Nagma-e-Sayari
Of late I have got a growing interest on Urdu poetry.
A deliberated effort I to live upto the interest... few from my pen :)
Pyaar
Uff.. si ek awaz nikli,
jo tera deedaar hua..
humne bas tumhari taraf dekha aur
pyaar hua
saam ki angdai mein tasavvuur se baithe the
Jab tera khayal ayaa
kya tumhein bhi wo kasak hai bechein dil mein sawal ayaa...
---------------------------------------------
Kashak
ish kasak ko kya naam dein
kya naam dein is sisak ko
ishq ki fardoshi hai ya hai
nagma-e-Diwanapan
Gul bhi suna lage, lage bekaar gulistan
jitna zikra ho mehboob ka fir bhi lage afsana kam.
----------------------------------------------
Dard-e-Ish
"Chup rehneki meine sajaa hai pai.
zeeban main jaise khamoshi hai chai.
Dard mein zeena to humne sikhh liya,
Par dard kise kehte hain ye tum ne sikhai."
-----------------------------------
Kya khoya, kya paya
"Dard to bana he zeeban ka saaya.
Jo hume he khoya, wo tumne he paya.
Saath to tum kabhi the hi nahi,
Bas dhoondh si thi , use bhi humne suna hai payaa."
-----------------------------------
Manzeelein
"zeeiban mein manjilein to humne bhi paayi thi,
Par pata na tha in manjeelon par aakar hum rah bhatak jaayenge,
Manjil to khodiya ab to rah bhi gum gai".
-----------------------------------
Thokar
"Hum aansu to dikhaya nahi karte,
Kyun ki samjhne wale paas hua nahi karte.
Ise pyaar keh kar aapne bhi dhutkara...
Phark kya kai jab zamaane ne bhi he thokar maara."
------------------------------------
A deliberated effort I to live upto the interest... few from my pen :)
Pyaar
Uff.. si ek awaz nikli,
jo tera deedaar hua..
humne bas tumhari taraf dekha aur
pyaar hua
saam ki angdai mein tasavvuur se baithe the
Jab tera khayal ayaa
kya tumhein bhi wo kasak hai bechein dil mein sawal ayaa...
---------------------------------------------
Kashak
ish kasak ko kya naam dein
kya naam dein is sisak ko
ishq ki fardoshi hai ya hai
nagma-e-Diwanapan
Gul bhi suna lage, lage bekaar gulistan
jitna zikra ho mehboob ka fir bhi lage afsana kam.
----------------------------------------------
Dard-e-Ish
"Chup rehneki meine sajaa hai pai.
zeeban main jaise khamoshi hai chai.
Dard mein zeena to humne sikhh liya,
Par dard kise kehte hain ye tum ne sikhai."
-----------------------------------
Kya khoya, kya paya
"Dard to bana he zeeban ka saaya.
Jo hume he khoya, wo tumne he paya.
Saath to tum kabhi the hi nahi,
Bas dhoondh si thi , use bhi humne suna hai payaa."
-----------------------------------
Manzeelein
"zeeiban mein manjilein to humne bhi paayi thi,
Par pata na tha in manjeelon par aakar hum rah bhatak jaayenge,
Manjil to khodiya ab to rah bhi gum gai".
-----------------------------------
Thokar
"Hum aansu to dikhaya nahi karte,
Kyun ki samjhne wale paas hua nahi karte.
Ise pyaar keh kar aapne bhi dhutkara...
Phark kya kai jab zamaane ne bhi he thokar maara."
------------------------------------
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Hum laye hain tooofan kasti main daal ke - :P
I love a master piece of a song from early 50's ("Hum laye hain toofan se kasti nikaal ke...", what I din't know was that it has got a Pakistani version from that time. Have a look :)
The Indian Version
Now having watched that, see the Pakistani version :)
The Indian Version
Now having watched that, see the Pakistani version :)
Saturday, September 06, 2008
FYI ....
I thought of writing a poem. I wrote it. I wrote two infact. But was asked not to publish here. So am not posting them. Anyway.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Matlab ka sansaar
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar....
Sabkuch hai bekaar, yahan pe sab kuch hai bekaar.
Haani laabh ki tulna hoti, dukh ka hai byapaar..
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar.
log bure, buri hai ye duniya, bura iska adhaar
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar
Lahu se hori khel hai hota, hota hai deh byapaar..
Bol ka na koi mol yahan par, bas milte hain tiraskaar
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar
Prem bhav jo machal uthe kahin, cheere use nafrat ka dhaar
Bhabnaon ki na koi kadra yahan pe, na hai wosulon ka koi bhaar
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar
Sabkuch hai bekaar, yahan pe sab kuch hai bekaar.
Haani laabh ki tulna hoti, dukh ka hai byapaar..
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar.
log bure, buri hai ye duniya, bura iska adhaar
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar
Lahu se hori khel hai hota, hota hai deh byapaar..
Bol ka na koi mol yahan par, bas milte hain tiraskaar
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar
Prem bhav jo machal uthe kahin, cheere use nafrat ka dhaar
Bhabnaon ki na koi kadra yahan pe, na hai wosulon ka koi bhaar
Matlab ka sansaar ye hai matlab ka sansaar
Thursday, August 21, 2008
On true Love
About Love
A whole lot of literature has been written, spoken and understood on the same constant topic LOVE. I am a minnow in the same. What do I know about it is too small might be. But What do I understood is honest and by self analysis, not from preexisting literature or gyan. I have had never experienced love ever before, till now what ever wittings I had published here on the topic was imaginary and not by experience. Here it goes what I had earned the hard way:
Love is feeling. A feeling of greatness and righteousness. Being self righteous is love for being self righteous enables you to choose between whats love is and what its not. Is it about pursuing it as if its a goal to achieve? Or is it in possession? I am afraid its not. Its about pursuing the fact or being righteous and gaining honest. Naked honesty. Its about respecting the values of the beloved. Standing by the commitment of the beloved. A commitment is commitment. She is not committed to me but the fact is she is committed. And I must respect this commitment for I love her. Love lies not is possessing the physical entity but in the courage to behold it even with out it. The materialistic possession of the body might give me solace but the solace of fallacies. Truth lies beneath it. I have to seek it if at all I love. I have to understand love lies in respecting guarding her respect and values not in sacrificing them for mere feeling of being master. The body dies with you even the values and even the sense of love. But what lives on is the re-definition of love bequeathed from era to era. And love for me as I have understood is in respecting her commitment and not in realizing my materialistic emotions. I am a mortal man bonded with emotions too but I have this curse of righteousness on me. I have to live by it. I still love her. I still. But the power of Love takes away the "I", "still" and "her" from it. All that remains is the virtue of LOVE. Till eternity. I love you. Still and till and until.
Truly
Abinash
A whole lot of literature has been written, spoken and understood on the same constant topic LOVE. I am a minnow in the same. What do I know about it is too small might be. But What do I understood is honest and by self analysis, not from preexisting literature or gyan. I have had never experienced love ever before, till now what ever wittings I had published here on the topic was imaginary and not by experience. Here it goes what I had earned the hard way:
Love is feeling. A feeling of greatness and righteousness. Being self righteous is love for being self righteous enables you to choose between whats love is and what its not. Is it about pursuing it as if its a goal to achieve? Or is it in possession? I am afraid its not. Its about pursuing the fact or being righteous and gaining honest. Naked honesty. Its about respecting the values of the beloved. Standing by the commitment of the beloved. A commitment is commitment. She is not committed to me but the fact is she is committed. And I must respect this commitment for I love her. Love lies not is possessing the physical entity but in the courage to behold it even with out it. The materialistic possession of the body might give me solace but the solace of fallacies. Truth lies beneath it. I have to seek it if at all I love. I have to understand love lies in respecting guarding her respect and values not in sacrificing them for mere feeling of being master. The body dies with you even the values and even the sense of love. But what lives on is the re-definition of love bequeathed from era to era. And love for me as I have understood is in respecting her commitment and not in realizing my materialistic emotions. I am a mortal man bonded with emotions too but I have this curse of righteousness on me. I have to live by it. I still love her. I still. But the power of Love takes away the "I", "still" and "her" from it. All that remains is the virtue of LOVE. Till eternity. I love you. Still and till and until.
Truly
Abinash
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Transition
It was crowded like any other day. shiny cars
with beautiful ladies inside halting at the red
traffic light. And in the hustle of crowd people
running off the foot path to make a fortune
though tiny from this halted traffic of rich.
Except for one. The little boy, crying silently
on the footpath. Eyes just brimming with tear, yet
to come out. The silent cry lost in the noisy
engines. Bare body he did not care about how rich
these people are and how poor his fellow mates
are. All he cared about was about his need. He
needed care. Getting off the bike I went slowly
to the kid, asked his name but got two droplets of
tears running down the black chicks as answer.
At least I freed what he was holding back. Tears.
He didn't care even about me or my existence. He
ran back on the footpath till he reached a
distance he felt safe. Looked back at me. I
smiled, he cried.Again. And he vanished from my
sight. I could no longer hear the noise of the
engines nor of those rich man shouting on their
cell phones. It was a silent world for me. I was
waken back to the noisy reality by a traffic
constable shouting over my shoulder for my
license and why I have parked the bike on the
footpath. In almost slow motion I could feel
myself drifting from what I feel real to what
they feel real. From silence to noise. From
individual need to mass desire. From myself to
the political society. I went on.
P.S. It was on this Koramangala signal (near my
office) Tuesday morning.
Truly
Abinash
with beautiful ladies inside halting at the red
traffic light. And in the hustle of crowd people
running off the foot path to make a fortune
though tiny from this halted traffic of rich.
Except for one. The little boy, crying silently
on the footpath. Eyes just brimming with tear, yet
to come out. The silent cry lost in the noisy
engines. Bare body he did not care about how rich
these people are and how poor his fellow mates
are. All he cared about was about his need. He
needed care. Getting off the bike I went slowly
to the kid, asked his name but got two droplets of
tears running down the black chicks as answer.
At least I freed what he was holding back. Tears.
He didn't care even about me or my existence. He
ran back on the footpath till he reached a
distance he felt safe. Looked back at me. I
smiled, he cried.Again. And he vanished from my
sight. I could no longer hear the noise of the
engines nor of those rich man shouting on their
cell phones. It was a silent world for me. I was
waken back to the noisy reality by a traffic
constable shouting over my shoulder for my
license and why I have parked the bike on the
footpath. In almost slow motion I could feel
myself drifting from what I feel real to what
they feel real. From silence to noise. From
individual need to mass desire. From myself to
the political society. I went on.
P.S. It was on this Koramangala signal (near my
office) Tuesday morning.
Truly
Abinash
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
The half lit day.
The shades are always half lit. Half lit is also half dark. You wake up appreciating the day. But the day does not always appreciates you. I asked for just a smile and what I got was a anything but a smile. I smiled but. The same way I used to. At least the same way I try to. The thirst of her smile remains a morning dream. Like looking for dew on a petal when sun is at the top. I take a look back on the figure which I can see quickly becoming a shade. For me. And a shade is always half lit. Half lit is also half dark.
Truly
Abinash
Truly
Abinash
Friday, August 01, 2008
The conscious stupidity
succeed in being smart. Walking down the busy road your eyes catch up to some one's style and almost in voluntarily you emulate it. Spontaneously. Speaking in a meeting you suddenly realize people are watching you and the action changes. The consciousness of the disposition becomes apparent. You are explaining something and suddenly you realize some one is listening to you.... the pitch changes, the ascent changes the words changes. Everything which was natural and unconscious (at least superficially) becomes unnatural and conscious(deeply). You realize you are behaving in a weird or stupid way, suddenly who console yourself with false assumptions. That can't be me. No my fault. At least not now.
And all these are conspicuous when you are with some one of opposite sex (I assume all readers are straight sexually).
Wonder of wonders The above logic applies most of the time on both or all the people involved almost making everyone conscious of everyone's stupidity.
But still it has been the way since ages and it will continue to be till ages. Kudos. :)
Truly
abinash
And all these are conspicuous when you are with some one of opposite sex (I assume all readers are straight sexually).
Wonder of wonders The above logic applies most of the time on both or all the people involved almost making everyone conscious of everyone's stupidity.
But still it has been the way since ages and it will continue to be till ages. Kudos. :)
Truly
abinash
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Let the letter go!!!!
They all seem to be happy and excited in the start. The start was good. Slowly and steadily each one had their turn. To kill the excitement. The excitement turned into sarcasm and then to dull dismal spirit eventually to loathe. They all stood there frowning at each other as I looked on smiling. Fake sympathy flowed so rhetoric of commitments. The dejected faces and the hostile demeanor gave them that sinful bliss. Restless on the seat and the day through out they kept the topic on fire. "It's unfair justice to me" some one would say. I wondered if its unfair how come its justice? They rebuked they reproached.
An unhappy flow of living man gathered, and recited the anthem of false hood. I was asked if I am happy, I replied "Hum to nappy main bhi happy" (Come on let the letter go. U are happy. You are getting more than what you have. Reason to smile). It was the day we got the salary appraisal letters. :)
Truly
Abinash
An unhappy flow of living man gathered, and recited the anthem of false hood. I was asked if I am happy, I replied "Hum to nappy main bhi happy" (Come on let the letter go. U are happy. You are getting more than what you have. Reason to smile). It was the day we got the salary appraisal letters. :)
Truly
Abinash
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The day was on my side
I looked at her. Again. A smile ran through my eyes reaching beyond the feeling. The bright stern face, the glittering eyes and the dangling earing creating a rhythm. The lips half open. And pink. I realized how pink did pink looked.
She unaware of my glare at her turned her back on me. Again. But the hairs with an aroma and shine were still worth watching. I kept my gaze on. The morning seemed to be on my side. She turned a little pretending almost trying to avoid an eye contact. But it was an eye contact. I still hold the gaze. She smiled from the corner of her eyes. Almost realizing I was waiting for it.
The saw the fingers with pink gel. Straight and agile. Even they spoke like her eyes. I moved on. Again. And the day came to an halt. The day was on my side. I earned this beauty. I earned her smiling eyes that day.
Truly
Abinash
She unaware of my glare at her turned her back on me. Again. But the hairs with an aroma and shine were still worth watching. I kept my gaze on. The morning seemed to be on my side. She turned a little pretending almost trying to avoid an eye contact. But it was an eye contact. I still hold the gaze. She smiled from the corner of her eyes. Almost realizing I was waiting for it.
The saw the fingers with pink gel. Straight and agile. Even they spoke like her eyes. I moved on. Again. And the day came to an halt. The day was on my side. I earned this beauty. I earned her smiling eyes that day.
Truly
Abinash
Monday, July 14, 2008
Viveka nanda on Maya
The eternal words of truth uttered with eternal faith by a legendary saint Swami Vivekananda:
In one of his lectures in California, the swami described about his condition during wandering days as follows:
In one of his lectures in California, the swami described about his condition during wandering days as follows:
“Many times I have been in the jaws of death, starving, footsore, and weary; for days and days I had no food, and often could walk no farther; I would sink down under a tree, and life would seem to be ebbing away. I could not speak, I could scarcely think, but at last the mind reverted to the idea: "I have no fear nor death; never was I born, never did I die; I never hunger or thirst. I am It! I am It! The whole of nature cannot crush me; it is my servant. Assert thy strength, thou Lord of lords and God of gods! Regain thy lost empire! Arise and walk and stop not!" And I would rise up, reinvigorated; and here I am today, living! Thus, whenever darkness comes, assert the reality and everything adverse must vanish. For after all, it is but a dream. Mountain-high though the difficulties appear, terrible and gloomy though all things seem, they are but Maya. Fear not, and it is banished. Crush it, and it vanishes. Stamp upon it, and it dies.
”
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Lakshya Ki Talaash mein - Reposted
I had written it on Thursday, October 26, 2006
Dont know why fely like posting it again and here it goes.
Lakshya Ki Talaash mein......
--------------------------------
Ujjwal aasmaan mein,
Ek tim tima ta taara tha,
Use dekh har roz mera dil soche,
Kya ye meri taraf koi ishara thaa,
Yun to taare bahat hai aasman mein,
Par wohi taare pe kyun lage hai man,
Jis din dhake aasma badal se,
Udaasi saa lage ye jiban.
Par yun to ishwar ne banaye hain taare asma ke liye,
Is dharti pe rehke mein unko kya paao ,
Nih sabda swapna se mein kya laon.
Yun to ishwar ne he isara diya,
Taaron ke liye tumhe chunaa hai aasman,
Jaana hai gagan k us paar aur banana hai pehchaan.
Tabhi mein samjha kya woh ishara thaa ,
Jo mere liye ek tim tima ta tara tha.
Ab manjil ki he samajh mujhko, jana hai bahat duur,
Us aasman ko chuonga mein , gagan k par bhi jaaunga mein.
Ab raste ki hai pehchaan mujh ko, jo bhram mein gaya tha bhool.
Ab apni khud ki samajh hai mujh ko, jise samjha tha meine dhool.
Pakad hai majboot abhi, lakshya nishaane par,
Bas dekhna hai dum hai mujhmein kitna wahan pahanch pane par.
Ishwar ki is prakruti ne sikhaya bahat kuch hai,
Ab dekhna hai meine sikha kya hai?
Jis lakshya ke liye hai janm mera, ushe safal prabal kar jaana hai mujhe,
Bahak gaya tha taare ko dekh kar, ki har subah ek ujjal suraj bhi hai.
Dont know why fely like posting it again and here it goes.
Lakshya Ki Talaash mein......
--------------------------------
Ujjwal aasmaan mein,
Ek tim tima ta taara tha,
Use dekh har roz mera dil soche,
Kya ye meri taraf koi ishara thaa,
Yun to taare bahat hai aasman mein,
Par wohi taare pe kyun lage hai man,
Jis din dhake aasma badal se,
Udaasi saa lage ye jiban.
Par yun to ishwar ne banaye hain taare asma ke liye,
Is dharti pe rehke mein unko kya paao ,
Nih sabda swapna se mein kya laon.
Yun to ishwar ne he isara diya,
Taaron ke liye tumhe chunaa hai aasman,
Jaana hai gagan k us paar aur banana hai pehchaan.
Tabhi mein samjha kya woh ishara thaa ,
Jo mere liye ek tim tima ta tara tha.
Ab manjil ki he samajh mujhko, jana hai bahat duur,
Us aasman ko chuonga mein , gagan k par bhi jaaunga mein.
Ab raste ki hai pehchaan mujh ko, jo bhram mein gaya tha bhool.
Ab apni khud ki samajh hai mujh ko, jise samjha tha meine dhool.
Pakad hai majboot abhi, lakshya nishaane par,
Bas dekhna hai dum hai mujhmein kitna wahan pahanch pane par.
Ishwar ki is prakruti ne sikhaya bahat kuch hai,
Ab dekhna hai meine sikha kya hai?
Jis lakshya ke liye hai janm mera, ushe safal prabal kar jaana hai mujhe,
Bahak gaya tha taare ko dekh kar, ki har subah ek ujjal suraj bhi hai.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Denial is painful - in all forms.
....Lately I am a distinct looser, appeased with my loss and fugitive discordant set of emotions!!! But I am still distinct.
... this is what my Google talk status message says. Denial is painful. In all forms. Human is not merely a social animal, human is also an emotional animal. I preach about correct use of emotions. Power of emotion and all those abstruse stuffs, all along. But of late I realize I am a mere man too. Like any one else. A mere mortal fighting a battle to over come the apparent flaws in the way we live. At the end of the day when I stand in front of the mirror I realize I have gained no more than only the knowledge of the truth. Knowing and doing are different. I just know. I have failed to do. And that makes me vulnerable and fragile. I feel pity. Pity for myself. Helpless I feel. But feelings are transient I am aware but also I know they are too overwhelming at times to be controlled. And I feel let down. As I am feeling now. The discordant emotion take shape of incoherent thoughts and drive no they drift me the way they want. And my remnant is no more than an entity in harmonic motion. From one ext ream to other restlessly.
Denial ignites this flame and the uncontrolled emotions fuel it. I remain just a shadow in this unreal world. I become a flaw. I become a mad mind desperately seeking some solace. Some sympathy. Seeking every where but within. Because I know if I seek it with in I will find it. I don't want that. I enjoy this madness. I like this hopeless despair some how. I find peace in looking at my soul succumb to the madness. I rejoice over it. I remain a different me.
Denial is painful. In all form. Thats what just remain. The pain and the denial.
... this is what my Google talk status message says. Denial is painful. In all forms. Human is not merely a social animal, human is also an emotional animal. I preach about correct use of emotions. Power of emotion and all those abstruse stuffs, all along. But of late I realize I am a mere man too. Like any one else. A mere mortal fighting a battle to over come the apparent flaws in the way we live. At the end of the day when I stand in front of the mirror I realize I have gained no more than only the knowledge of the truth. Knowing and doing are different. I just know. I have failed to do. And that makes me vulnerable and fragile. I feel pity. Pity for myself. Helpless I feel. But feelings are transient I am aware but also I know they are too overwhelming at times to be controlled. And I feel let down. As I am feeling now. The discordant emotion take shape of incoherent thoughts and drive no they drift me the way they want. And my remnant is no more than an entity in harmonic motion. From one ext ream to other restlessly.
Denial ignites this flame and the uncontrolled emotions fuel it. I remain just a shadow in this unreal world. I become a flaw. I become a mad mind desperately seeking some solace. Some sympathy. Seeking every where but within. Because I know if I seek it with in I will find it. I don't want that. I enjoy this madness. I like this hopeless despair some how. I find peace in looking at my soul succumb to the madness. I rejoice over it. I remain a different me.
Denial is painful. In all form. Thats what just remain. The pain and the denial.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
I ma tagged
6 Whatevers about me:
1. I am looking for a girl friend.
2. I love people,animal, computers, fire arms, books, camera, food, gym.
3. I am lazy, bad listener at times, indifferent and solemn.
4. I used to be a principled guy, not anymore. I used to be look conscious, not anymore.
5. I used to be non vegetarian, then vegetarian and now again vegetarian.
6. I do some amateur photography, and maintain blogs, irony is that I don't have a camera.
5 things I miss in my life right now:
1. I miss my school day.
2. I miss a girl friend.
3. I miss my mom and my home.
4. I miss Jb, and Shankar da.
5. I miss my days when I was a principled guy :P
10 things I wanna achieve within a decade:
1. top the CSE.
2. Achieve inner peace to fullest,
3. To learn boxing, 5 other languages, learn swimming and walk through deep forest on bare foot.
4. Write a book.
5. To build a house and buy a car for my mom.
6. To kill a few criminals.
7. To learn the fact of life.
8. To build a hanumaan temple in my new house.
9. To go on several blind dates
10.The most important to become a Yogi if at all I am destined to
Book tag:
**Pick up the nearest book.Open to page 123.Find the fifth sentence.Post the next three sentences.Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you.
**The nearest book is Devine Reality and @page 123 it has got exactly 5 sentences and a picture. So after that I dont have nayline to write.
1. I am looking for a girl friend.
2. I love people,animal, computers, fire arms, books, camera, food, gym.
3. I am lazy, bad listener at times, indifferent and solemn.
4. I used to be a principled guy, not anymore. I used to be look conscious, not anymore.
5. I used to be non vegetarian, then vegetarian and now again vegetarian.
6. I do some amateur photography, and maintain blogs, irony is that I don't have a camera.
5 things I miss in my life right now:
1. I miss my school day.
2. I miss a girl friend.
3. I miss my mom and my home.
4. I miss Jb, and Shankar da.
5. I miss my days when I was a principled guy :P
10 things I wanna achieve within a decade:
1. top the CSE.
2. Achieve inner peace to fullest,
3. To learn boxing, 5 other languages, learn swimming and walk through deep forest on bare foot.
4. Write a book.
5. To build a house and buy a car for my mom.
6. To kill a few criminals.
7. To learn the fact of life.
8. To build a hanumaan temple in my new house.
9. To go on several blind dates
10.The most important to become a Yogi if at all I am destined to
Book tag:
**Pick up the nearest book.Open to page 123.Find the fifth sentence.Post the next three sentences.Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you.
**The nearest book is Devine Reality and @page 123 it has got exactly 5 sentences and a picture. So after that I dont have nayline to write.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Finally in Love
It was little different then usual. It was a day I felt the feeling. The innocent beautiful face almost in slow motion would move on my eyes. The lips would stretch a little to be called smiling. And I smile. The smile of immature love. The smile of solace you find no where else. she would look at me. And I feel the chill looking into her deep, adorable brown eyes. A sublime current euphoria would run through my body and I take my eyes away in an almost involuntary way, almost because it is voluntary. The man ego plays the role. You can't be staring at some one. But pretend the eye contact is accidental. The demeanor must reflect some kinda of false attitude. But love is overwhelming when ever it strikes, may be thats why its not a emotion and residue of all others, thats why its love. The most powerful of anything. A deep force of confession, ecstasy, revival, life, hope, will and divinity. Love.
In a chase of her one glimpse I would behave in almost stupid way. Almost for other don't catch it. You are not stupid as long as you are considered wise. She won't let me have that satisfaction of at least acquaintance. But I am glad. The characteristic of acquaintances would devise a screen of politeness never can be removed. Better be unknown. Who wants to know? Love does not demand cognizance, love lies in pure ignorance. Love lies in the submission of everything for the sake of faith. Its past, hence its a fact. That I loved her. But its still in the present so its a lively fact. And truth in present is as rare as time in past. I wont loose it. Its mine.
And the I love her is mine too.
In a chase of her one glimpse I would behave in almost stupid way. Almost for other don't catch it. You are not stupid as long as you are considered wise. She won't let me have that satisfaction of at least acquaintance. But I am glad. The characteristic of acquaintances would devise a screen of politeness never can be removed. Better be unknown. Who wants to know? Love does not demand cognizance, love lies in pure ignorance. Love lies in the submission of everything for the sake of faith. Its past, hence its a fact. That I loved her. But its still in the present so its a lively fact. And truth in present is as rare as time in past. I wont loose it. Its mine.
And the I love her is mine too.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
The shadow and Me
A lighted cigarette in hand, few moist hairs hanging out and self deceiving smile. The re-imaging of self image while siting on my bed listening to gazal and struggling to type correctly I could think of only what I have become lately. What I am out for? What is it I want? Am I lonely? have I realized of late that I am a moron? Am I a intellectually handicapped guy? Or is it that I have become too complex? Do I do the things I do? Do I do them for I want to do or for I pretend that I want to do? Perplexed, annoyed I swhich off all the thoughts. Then I regain, I regain myself. I feel that chill. I feel my own possession. I am smiling again but this time its not deceiving its reassuring. I take a gaze on myself and here I am standing in the balcony staring involuntarily at the shadow before me. It my shadow. I think how my shadow has become longer than me, all most but not quite like a monster. I try out run my shadow, I fail. I try out last my shadow I fail. I try our cast my shadow I fail.
I realize my shadow is my self image. My shadow is as false as my body and my shadow is what gives me the courage, there is light even behind me. I have traveled a path of light. For I can see my shadow i have defeated darkness. Then My shadow moves with me, and I cant see it no more. I cant see it no more for I have realized the direction. I need not see it any more. The shadow has served its purpose. I am on the right path now. I am in the direction of the source. The source of light. My shadow made me turn around and seek the source. The dark shadow. The ugly monstrous shadow.
The life is same. The life does it all. It gives dark and monstrous opportunities to realized the path. To realize the source. Turn around set your face off it. Follow the infinite. Don't follow your shadow, let it follow you. Thats where lies life.
Truly
Abinash
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Life is where lies light.
"Its a choice. A choice of yours to decide if you want to change your notion. For your believes are not going to outlast you. Neither you are going to outlast them. Both will cease to exist. Move on, get over it, you are as mortal as your thoughts. Understand the fact and understand the existence. The stubborn mind is fugacious. Then what for you feel the pride in? You are "never-lasting" what you misunderstand it to be "ever-lasting". The actions won't remain the same, they will change and they will die. The remnant you confuse to have in this world after you depart will die. The world will die. This is a mortal world. Understand. The "system" the life, the choices all are on the same mortal cord still they have their stints. Understand the purpose of action, nature and the changes. The system creates scope for you every moment to understand it, to pursue the fact. The scope is here in every moment like light. The life is like the spectrum of light. Travels in all possible directions in all [possible dimensions at each point of existence. This speaks the immortal existence of the being. The unconditional and un-dimentional existence. Understand the scope, understand the system.
Don't waste this coherence of transience in unnecessary psychology. The emotions are a strong equipment for understanding the system. Don't mislead yourself faraway with the illusion that its ever lasting. Understand its "never-lasting."
Give up the unnecessary psychological cord. Apathy is where lies the key to understand inner existence.
Truly
Abinash.
Don't waste this coherence of transience in unnecessary psychology. The emotions are a strong equipment for understanding the system. Don't mislead yourself faraway with the illusion that its ever lasting. Understand its "never-lasting."
Give up the unnecessary psychological cord. Apathy is where lies the key to understand inner existence.
Truly
Abinash.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
A trivial conversation with substantial expression.
Well weird though profound. Crap still intellectual. And a mere conversation yet a powerful expression. Check HERE to know what it is. Its a small conversation and one amazing guy Shailesh (Shallu bhai as I call him). He has got some nice posts in there. Check them out :)
Truly
Abinash
Truly
Abinash
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
And still she was standing
She was looking straight into my eyes, motionless and wordless. The dark face, though surprisingly calm and beautiful, the tiny body naked except for the worn out small skirt, the swinging hands more like a pendulum as if the body is too weak to carry them. The hairs scattered and untidy, brown and uncombed, dry and unoiled, dead and dusty. She stood there with the distended belly emerging out of the small torso, encrusted nose. The face carried mark from all over the time speaking of their own saga. One she might have got collecting plastic in the garbage bin. The other below the right eye she might have got while running to avoid the barking mad dog. The encrusted wounds she might have got a thousand times. But she stood there with a faint smile. The marks speaks of her suffering and undefined and uncared pain. But she stands their with an innocence still intact, dreams still preserved and the unseen hope. She is too small to understand the politics of living world but surely she understands the morning sun, the evening moon and the chilly wind. may be thats why she still stands there looking straight into the eyes, with the anticipation she is ceased of.
P.S. Yesterday while returning home from office took a stop in a store to buy a Pulpy Orange beverage drink. And I found her standing near a drain and looking at me. I was confounded and and I confusingly but with conviction gave her the pulpy orange, reluctantly she accepted and stayed still looking at me. :)
Truly
Abinash
P.S. Yesterday while returning home from office took a stop in a store to buy a Pulpy Orange beverage drink. And I found her standing near a drain and looking at me. I was confounded and and I confusingly but with conviction gave her the pulpy orange, reluctantly she accepted and stayed still looking at me. :)
Truly
Abinash
Monday, April 28, 2008
मौत आती है पर नहीं आती
कोई उम्मीद बर नहीं आती
कोई सूरत नज़र नहीं आती
मौत का एक दिन मु`अय्यन है
नींद क्यूं रात भर नहीं आती
क्यूं न चीख़ूं कि याद कर्ते हैं
मिरी आवाज़ गर नहीं आती
हम वहां हैं जहां से हम को भी
कुछ हमारी ख़बर नहीं आती
मर्ते हैं आर्ज़ू में मर्ने की
मौत आती है पर नहीं आती
क`बे किस मुंह से जाओगे ग़ालिब
शर्म तुम को मगर नहीं आती
* Courtesy The Legendary Mirza Galib
कोई सूरत नज़र नहीं आती
मौत का एक दिन मु`अय्यन है
नींद क्यूं रात भर नहीं आती
क्यूं न चीख़ूं कि याद कर्ते हैं
मिरी आवाज़ गर नहीं आती
हम वहां हैं जहां से हम को भी
कुछ हमारी ख़बर नहीं आती
मर्ते हैं आर्ज़ू में मर्ने की
मौत आती है पर नहीं आती
क`बे किस मुंह से जाओगे ग़ालिब
शर्म तुम को मगर नहीं आती
* Courtesy The Legendary Mirza Galib
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Frustration's medicine - Marriage
Yesterday I met one of my friends (not exactly more of an acquaintance than a friend). Quite surprisingly she was excited to see me! After exchanging formal greetings I happened to ask so whats new? "When are to getting married?". "In june." :P I was taken a back. I just asked that as I didnt have have anything else to ask. Now she says she is really getting married. I banged on the target all by chance. I said so "you got the perfect man, eh?" "I don't know" she responded. Its an arrange marriage. I was surprised again. she used to be the one who scorns arrange marriage and a devotee of so called love marriage. Now its she before me proclaiming her marriage in an arranged manner. I said "but you never wanted to get a guy "arranged" for you?" Yeah but you see its the perfect age to get married and you should. But does there a perfect age for something? I mean its about the guy you gonna spend the rest of your life(at least supposed to) and how come you can decide on something so important on the sheer basis of age? "Its the time a girl must get married." My thought its not the right time you are talking about getting married you are talking about girl. You are really really pissed off being single and not getting the TDH, guy with attitude. Its that you are now restless with the inner desire to lose the tag of virginity. You want to sleep with a man ain't u.I told her "is it that you are really want to get married just that you feel its the age?" She was uncomfortable with question and the friendly disposition changed instantly. That revealed it all. Its not the age its the desire. Its no more like, I am want to have sex as I am married. Its like I want to be married as I want to have sex. Even I want to sleep with a girl but just that I have not put it so high on my list of priority and desires, so am not desperate to get married just to sleep and no more be single and frustrated
I am He
The sun was fading-in paving way for the half lit moon. The whole world seemed to be dying in with the dying sun.
The moon was taking over sun and the darkness over light. The wind too changed the direction so as the birds. I was standing on the edge of the day where it was not going to end but begin the next morning. Arms spread out to embrace the scent that the soothing wind would bring with it. Like a man who know himself I stood there with the definite indifference, unprecedented. And then I asked "Who am I". And I got the reassuring answer "I am Him". Looking directly the moons and the millions of sparkling stars into the eyes, I could realize my nonexistence. Gravity seems to be broken and with it the fear of falling, falling of weight, falling with time, falling in life. The whole world was a theme, a beautiful theme conspiring against and for you. There was a feeling never before, there was a desire never desired, there was a sense never felt. There was me, and I was possessed by myself. I am He.
Truly
Abinash
The moon was taking over sun and the darkness over light. The wind too changed the direction so as the birds. I was standing on the edge of the day where it was not going to end but begin the next morning. Arms spread out to embrace the scent that the soothing wind would bring with it. Like a man who know himself I stood there with the definite indifference, unprecedented. And then I asked "Who am I". And I got the reassuring answer "I am Him". Looking directly the moons and the millions of sparkling stars into the eyes, I could realize my nonexistence. Gravity seems to be broken and with it the fear of falling, falling of weight, falling with time, falling in life. The whole world was a theme, a beautiful theme conspiring against and for you. There was a feeling never before, there was a desire never desired, there was a sense never felt. There was me, and I was possessed by myself. I am He.
Truly
Abinash
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The difference
It was raining outside, each drop falling with a
resonating sound, creating the immortal smell of
soil. The drops would fall and spread as dancing
ripples. The whole flow was predefined and
beautiful beyond consciousness.
Standing on the edge of porch all my thoughts
could assimilate is the memory of a similar
evening, a evening which had one exception to it.
I was not alone. Her presence made all the
ambiance and the horizon more convincing, more
desirable and I embraced them all. The whole new
feeling was blessed with her mesmerizing smell,
the sharp touch and the glittering beauty.
The whole new world seemed to be recreated at the
marvelous stroke of the artist who created.
The whole theme of life was revived with the thought of her presence. Thats the only difference between the rainy evening then and now. Thats the only difference.
Truly
Abinash
resonating sound, creating the immortal smell of
soil. The drops would fall and spread as dancing
ripples. The whole flow was predefined and
beautiful beyond consciousness.
Standing on the edge of porch all my thoughts
could assimilate is the memory of a similar
evening, a evening which had one exception to it.
I was not alone. Her presence made all the
ambiance and the horizon more convincing, more
desirable and I embraced them all. The whole new
feeling was blessed with her mesmerizing smell,
the sharp touch and the glittering beauty.
The whole new world seemed to be recreated at the
marvelous stroke of the artist who created.
The whole theme of life was revived with the thought of her presence. Thats the only difference between the rainy evening then and now. Thats the only difference.
Truly
Abinash
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A philosophy for life
Life should be lived looking forward and not back ward they say. But how do one looks forward? I learned it may be the way to anticipate goal and achievements for yourself and live by the sheer joy and hope that some day you will achieve them. Some day for sure. This philosophy of living is rather filled with illusions still one can suffer the transient happiness. subtly you deceive yourself in a way that it becomes all most an addiction. A crazy obsession that thrives with the time. You try to get solace with this preoccupied confounded brain which knows nothing but few of these unrealistic still widely claimed futuristic materialistic possessions. They soon become the guiding rule for the life and you are drifted towards the agony of behemoth ignorance. This deflection of self away from self is what they call as life.
But when u start to take retrospective approach of philosophy of living. You may suffer a transient discordance of brain and heart, but it will lead you closer to a path which can be traversed by none other than your self. The past sins and the achievement will enlighten your present and not future in contrast with the futuristic approach of life. But then its the present thats alive for past is dead and future is not born yet. The suffering comes when we consume the present to produce the future - which is undefined. We afford to loose the present and forget the time bygone to be in the fake euphoria and not ecstasy. A true happiness can be achieved when we look back at past and realize the present and never care about the future. Just being assured that your present action is righteous and filled with satisfaction future will draw itself automatically in the flow. after all they are all related with cosmic logic. Like the future direction of any object is defined by the direction of force you apply on it at the present.
Its all blissful man can have for himself a retrospective approach for life.
Truly
Abinash
But when u start to take retrospective approach of philosophy of living. You may suffer a transient discordance of brain and heart, but it will lead you closer to a path which can be traversed by none other than your self. The past sins and the achievement will enlighten your present and not future in contrast with the futuristic approach of life. But then its the present thats alive for past is dead and future is not born yet. The suffering comes when we consume the present to produce the future - which is undefined. We afford to loose the present and forget the time bygone to be in the fake euphoria and not ecstasy. A true happiness can be achieved when we look back at past and realize the present and never care about the future. Just being assured that your present action is righteous and filled with satisfaction future will draw itself automatically in the flow. after all they are all related with cosmic logic. Like the future direction of any object is defined by the direction of force you apply on it at the present.
Its all blissful man can have for himself a retrospective approach for life.
Truly
Abinash
Saturday, April 12, 2008
See the new snaps
all the beautiful readers in there please redirect yourself to our photo blog (Here) . New photos have been added and may you like it. :) Do give me comments.
http://www.lifesnaped.blogdpot.com
Truly
Abinash
http://www.lifesnaped.blogdpot.com
Truly
Abinash
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Beautiful illusion
Traveling to places and exploring their significance has its own charm. But for me people are rather more important than the place itself of course with few exceptions though. I had been to hyderabad so many times. But never did I visit any places, that seemingly glorify Hyderabad. Its always the guy my best friend, its an offense if I would say my best friend. He is a part of me. I find solace with him. Its just his company that I can travel to Hyderabad every day. Life is simple for us, we understand life is an illusion but we can always and we do make this illusion as beautiful as possible. For we have to stand this illusion till we die, no mater when. He is an extraordinary guy I would say. Indifferent, tolerant beyond what god has granted for human, an soothing soul and a pleasant disposition.
It was when the train whistled I realized its time to board the train. I went in and stayed back at the door. He was looking back at me with a calmness that would make you re-think your own perception of life. The iron wheels would roll with the command of their master and the train moves, with the moving wagon moves few illustrious body as mine, moving away from a pleasing illusion to another. But he holds on to the side bar and keeps his vision intact till the last glimpse can be consumed. I would look at him from the forwarding (or back warding) iron monster till I could afford to with out being played out. But its not the departure that keeps me thinking. Its the cognizance that I am ignorant of the fact, the fact that keeps man driving. why god makes some illusions so beautiful? Why at all? And I would keep on recreating the motions like a child fantasizing about a movie and customizing it with his own imagery. But then I learn the light lies there. The illusion's truth is there in being seeking happiness for the sake of life, for the sake of truth. And the illusion is blessed with people like him for may be I have been doing good with god. Thanks for his presence in my life. Thanks to god.
It was when the train whistled I realized its time to board the train. I went in and stayed back at the door. He was looking back at me with a calmness that would make you re-think your own perception of life. The iron wheels would roll with the command of their master and the train moves, with the moving wagon moves few illustrious body as mine, moving away from a pleasing illusion to another. But he holds on to the side bar and keeps his vision intact till the last glimpse can be consumed. I would look at him from the forwarding (or back warding) iron monster till I could afford to with out being played out. But its not the departure that keeps me thinking. Its the cognizance that I am ignorant of the fact, the fact that keeps man driving. why god makes some illusions so beautiful? Why at all? And I would keep on recreating the motions like a child fantasizing about a movie and customizing it with his own imagery. But then I learn the light lies there. The illusion's truth is there in being seeking happiness for the sake of life, for the sake of truth. And the illusion is blessed with people like him for may be I have been doing good with god. Thanks for his presence in my life. Thanks to god.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Never knew it can even be Love
Love.
Never thought even Love can be a sentence, a complete sentence. A word full of life, energy, dreams and of course love. Never believed even love can be self descriptive, a complete wordless communication. A word of pleasure, present, heart and soul.
Never realized even love can be so divine. A word of worship, devotion, commitment and realization. Thats love, thats easy.
Though I have not yet been fortunate to experience it still can imagine it to be like this.
:)A smiling smiley.
Truly
Abinash
Never thought even Love can be a sentence, a complete sentence. A word full of life, energy, dreams and of course love. Never believed even love can be self descriptive, a complete wordless communication. A word of pleasure, present, heart and soul.
Never realized even love can be so divine. A word of worship, devotion, commitment and realization. Thats love, thats easy.
Though I have not yet been fortunate to experience it still can imagine it to be like this.
:)A smiling smiley.
Truly
Abinash
A Request! :P
Hey hey .... its kinda weird but shamelessly I am jotting it down. When I reread(sometimes) my posts. I find few grammatical errors and few typo errors. Believe me.... I seldom have enough time to correct them completely. Though I rectify few hastily. So do forgive me for that.
:) A smiling smiley.
Truly
Abinash
:) A smiling smiley.
Truly
Abinash
A letter to and from....
I don't know why I want so desperately to publish this personal letter I had written to my best teach way back in 2003. It was when he was leaving my college and may be the last time we would meet in coming few years. I brief account of the letter and it's reply I will put in here.... readers please bear with me. :)
Dear Sir,
Quite strange though true, man invented alphabets and language, language is more likely to be used. Language for expressions. But strangely enough I dare to differ from the whole purpose and unable to express me through words of language and would like to take this written way of alphabets, forgive me for that.
Few feeling are better expressed through the symbols, few are better expressed unspoken, may be its of that sort. It didn't take your extra attention or favoritism for you to become my best. Its the discovery of truth that I found in you, its the charismatic disposition you always pursue, its the involuntary affection spread by you. The learning you never taught but induced in us through the philosophy of "self build man". Your philosophy of teaching will remain an infinite source of inspiration for the rest of my life. Its a salute from a student to the teacher who never taught by words but by self created examples. The place will be graced where you will serve the fundamental rule of humanity in creating more "selfs".
I dont know when we are going to stand before each other but I can assure you, the next time we will stand you will find me standing up to your vision, my vision.
A good bye to an extra ordinary teacher from an ordinary student.
Truly
Abinash
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The reply:
Dear Abinash,
Love. Yeah there are feeling can't expressed through words but letters. It was great to read the letter, I was enriched with satisfaction. Certainly I hope and believe the next time we stand before each other you would be taller enough than me not in height but in achievement that I have to look up with pride to reach for a glimpse of you. Time is ever changing and hence life for life is a slave of time. But few good man out there can outlaw this rule and propel them selves into victory not just win, like these change never brought them adversity ever. Welcome difficulties in your way and be sure that in these difficulties you will become the man you will be for whole life. Pave yourself upon them for building the road of your choice. I know you can always make the best man. And I will be the most glad man to see you redefining the eights, which you will. Do write to me, have faith in god, have faith in your dreams and mostly have faith in yourself. Be the man you always want to be.
Keeping it here. be in touch, better through letters.
With lots of love and wishes
Sir.
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It has been five years since this communication occurred. Still something is in it that drives me. May be its the passion he instilled in me to be a self man man always. To be a man I always want to. To dare beyond the fear. To build a "self" in me.
Truly
Abinash
Dear Sir,
Quite strange though true, man invented alphabets and language, language is more likely to be used. Language for expressions. But strangely enough I dare to differ from the whole purpose and unable to express me through words of language and would like to take this written way of alphabets, forgive me for that.
Few feeling are better expressed through the symbols, few are better expressed unspoken, may be its of that sort. It didn't take your extra attention or favoritism for you to become my best. Its the discovery of truth that I found in you, its the charismatic disposition you always pursue, its the involuntary affection spread by you. The learning you never taught but induced in us through the philosophy of "self build man". Your philosophy of teaching will remain an infinite source of inspiration for the rest of my life. Its a salute from a student to the teacher who never taught by words but by self created examples. The place will be graced where you will serve the fundamental rule of humanity in creating more "selfs".
I dont know when we are going to stand before each other but I can assure you, the next time we will stand you will find me standing up to your vision, my vision.
A good bye to an extra ordinary teacher from an ordinary student.
Truly
Abinash
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The reply:
Dear Abinash,
Love. Yeah there are feeling can't expressed through words but letters. It was great to read the letter, I was enriched with satisfaction. Certainly I hope and believe the next time we stand before each other you would be taller enough than me not in height but in achievement that I have to look up with pride to reach for a glimpse of you. Time is ever changing and hence life for life is a slave of time. But few good man out there can outlaw this rule and propel them selves into victory not just win, like these change never brought them adversity ever. Welcome difficulties in your way and be sure that in these difficulties you will become the man you will be for whole life. Pave yourself upon them for building the road of your choice. I know you can always make the best man. And I will be the most glad man to see you redefining the eights, which you will. Do write to me, have faith in god, have faith in your dreams and mostly have faith in yourself. Be the man you always want to be.
Keeping it here. be in touch, better through letters.
With lots of love and wishes
Sir.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It has been five years since this communication occurred. Still something is in it that drives me. May be its the passion he instilled in me to be a self man man always. To be a man I always want to. To dare beyond the fear. To build a "self" in me.
Truly
Abinash
Monday, March 31, 2008
Of courage, Of values....
Even this is a pretty older article written in 2004 fall. Still I feel it deserves a publication, so posting it in here. These two guys Late Captain Vikram Batra and Late Captain Manoj Pande have been in top order of my favorite men. Its dedicated to the valor and gallantry shown by them.
It was May 1999, when a sleeping India rose to a threat, Kargil war. It has been a land mark in Indian history, not because of victory but for the gallantry of the youth. How people sacrificed their life with out a second thought. Its not because they laid their lives for the nation, its because they had respect for themselves, they had purpose of their life, they had a code of living by honor. Here goes the story of two greatest heroes and leaders Vikram Batra and Manoj Pande.
Vikram Batra:
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"If death strikes me before I prove my blood, I swear I will kill death." - Capt. Vikram batra.
What do you call a man who opted out of a smooth, wealthy career of merchant navy and joins the Army, Indian Military Academy? This man, Vikram Batra did so. He commissioned as a Lieutenant and joined army. Soon he was called for the service in the highest order of the Army tradition. To lead his men into the battle, a know combat where chances of winning were slim. But slim chances are not firm enough to alter determination. He shored high on success showing never before leadership and courage. The lead his men not by words but by example and values. He captured one peak after another not shacked by the injuries or the turbulent stream of bullets. Glory was waiting for him, his lavish future was waiting for him. But something was more important for the man then the glory offered by people, he had a big life not in age but in quality. One second of quality life is greater than a million years of age. In a daredevil act to rescue a fellow officer who was already fatally injured, despite his fellow men's deterring him, he clinched though the rocks, the heights towards the enemy bunker, and then he took his leap into the air to reach the wounded
officer. He was hit when in mid air, he was hit in the chest. But a bullet running at supersonic, may tear his body not his faith, courage and determinations. He pulled the officer back and before finally breathing his last, he destroyed the enemy bunker with a grenade.Inspired by this act the platoon quickly invaded other bunkers and conquered them all. This is called valor, this is called "Guts". And this is called "self respect", to fulfill your own decision, to live by own code. He was awarded PVC for his valor and became the face of Kargil war. The legend. A story of a legend.
I owe a lot to this man. A real man.
A salute to you.
Manoj Pande:
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"Some goals are so worth, its glorious even to fail" - Lt. manoj Pande
"To be safe in war you must be with the bravest" This is why people choose Gorkha regiment. And the people who have got this name for the regiment are the likes of Lt. Manoj Pande. A young officer who created history by showing extraordinary leadership and courage. The commitment was unmatched, the courage was unmatched. H elead the 1/11 GR to the Tololing peak. He conquered many peaks which other regiments have already failed. Fighting on a slanted slope of a mountain at a height of 17000Ft. when you are at the receiving end is next to impossible. But this men lead his company to following the spirit of self motivation to the pinnacle of victory where the same would have been only a theoretical concept. But he excelled, he cleared one bunker after another. He cleared one peak after another. He paved the way of victory for operation Vijay. He single handedly killed 4 people in hand to hand combat and cleared a bunker. Moving on to another he never cared for his life not even bothered how far he has moved away from his platoon, not fearing the unknown number of enemy, he moved alone way ahead of his men. Unfortunately while killing and clearing single handedly he came across a LMG, and got hit at head. But this daredevil act ignited this men. The men who loved their leader the people got inspired with his extraordinary showcase of courage. The men chased the enemy with Khukri and killed each of them. This man is Lt. manoj Pande. A man who redefined courage, a man who rewrote the way wars were ever fought. Hats off to him. You remain one of my heroes. Salute to you.
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This is the highest example of a life of self respect, of ego and of courage. Courage is an attribute of self respect. Man is a man when his self is a "self".
Truly
Abinash
Living free somewhere
I had written it long back. Posted it today :)
So may not be upto the standard still, I thought it deserves a publication.
Don't search for me here,
I have abandoned this place.
Don't look for me in your memory,
I live there no more.
I have divorced life, I have cheated death,
Love for me no more, I am free somewhere.
Longing to be loved, seen and admired
I quited this earth to pursue my desire.
Its no heaven here, nor its any hell,
I don't know what makes them different
But yeah it has innocent wind, shining days and starry nights.
Yeah, the gods don't stay here, I live alone,
with my dreams pursued, life cherished and a sedated soul.
My soul laughs at me, laughs also my shadow,
But who cares them, I am living free somewhere.
Truly
Abinash
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Fighting a loosing battle
I am not what I seem.
I am nothing but a dream.
I have changed awfully. I loosing on my courage. There was a time I used to be dangerously courageous. I would be afraid of nothing, no death could frighten me. I have changed and the only thing I am worried and I am sad about is I am loosing on my courage. I am afraid at time. I am growing lazy, that comes 2nd worry. I at times imitate others thats the 3rd worry. But still.... its good I have realized the problem early (or may be late) so that I can work on them. Wish me luck, wish me the grace of God.
Truly
Abinash
I am nothing but a dream.
I have changed awfully. I loosing on my courage. There was a time I used to be dangerously courageous. I would be afraid of nothing, no death could frighten me. I have changed and the only thing I am worried and I am sad about is I am loosing on my courage. I am afraid at time. I am growing lazy, that comes 2nd worry. I at times imitate others thats the 3rd worry. But still.... its good I have realized the problem early (or may be late) so that I can work on them. Wish me luck, wish me the grace of God.
Truly
Abinash
Thursday, March 27, 2008
I just love
I slept early, I woke up early and reached early. I was looking for her. Walking to and fro I was making strange gestures. Just wondering she would come. The rosy smile, the glittering eyes, the glowing face, the chilly 'hi', the cute glance, the flowery dress all are my morning assets. They all mean whole lot of things for me.
But she would never give any of these to me. But I can steal them from her. I love these all. I just love.
Truly
Abinash
But she would never give any of these to me. But I can steal them from her. I love these all. I just love.
Truly
Abinash
My needs and wants :)
What all I need now at 21:13Hours of the day?
I need a decent supper
I need a bottle of water
I need continuous power supply
I need my mobile
I need the book (To kill a mocking bird)(French phrases)
I need my bed
What I want this month:
I want an SLR camera
I want a support stand for my laptop
I want a new jeans
I want to have Italian food at Italiano
I want to have a girl friend
Truly
Abinash
I need a decent supper
I need a bottle of water
I need continuous power supply
I need my mobile
I need the book (To kill a mocking bird)(French phrases)
I need my bed
What I want this month:
I want an SLR camera
I want a support stand for my laptop
I want a new jeans
I want to have Italian food at Italiano
I want to have a girl friend
Truly
Abinash
On the porch of Life
Sitting on the porch of life, looking across it all the way back till the last moment I can remember what I think? I found I have grown into myself only half and the other half into something that I never wanted to. Life has turned out to be something else far more different than what it was supposed to be? One thought comes rushing to me for rescue. I gain my consciousness to console myself, I have enough time for restructuring everything, life, style, myself, even my death to the way I want. a faint smile runs across my face, I take my face away from me with a sigh of satisfaction, more like a thirsty man in desert drinking in an oasis breathlessly. The heartbeat slows down to normal and the fingers stop trembling. I stand up off the porch, all most in slow motion I take the first step forward with courage and hope revived. I move in the direction of the remote light, the only light I can see, the light of life.
Truly
Abinash
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I was listening to the music of Omakara based on Shakespeare’s Othello after a long time. The title song used to be my caller tune sometime. I always loved the music, the direction and mostly the lyrics. The lyrics speaks of ego, a clash of ego. Vishal Bhardwaj at his best. He has always appeared in my favorite directors and now I feel I must include him among my favorite music directors too. Some strange feeling evoked in me. I just danced to the music like mad and I just wanted the song again to be my caller tune. What I love the best is the depiction of ego in poetic form with correct analogy. Do listen to the song. The title song of Omkara.
Till then Omkara!!
Truly
Abinash
Saturday, March 22, 2008
A begging appeal
The way she was walking caught my attention. Beautiful glowing skin, careless glances, untidy Grey and black hair looking like silver nylon is dancing to the rhythm of wind. The way she would hold the saree and the way she would take cautious steps jumping over the mud. The smooth voice pronouncing each latter clearly, in a way it rhymes. The eyes filled with expectation when falls on you with the voice of hers in my ear, I respond involuntarily. A sense runs through my body and I feel the unique feeling. Running towards her I pull out my wallet and hand over a two rupees coin. Yes am talking about the bagger I see everyday on my way to office.
Truly
Abinash
Truly
Abinash
Thursday, March 20, 2008
In love again
Its not easy. You can't hide your disposition. You struggle with own words and thoughts. Fighting all the time, and wondering all the time for a glimpse. Quizzing yourself you find nothing. You want solitude, you want perpetuation of the "now" version of time. You discover you are in love (again?). You smile at yourself and you move on. But at some neat thought you are in love. The craziness is apparent in your action. The desperation eyes. The blushing glow and the admiration in breath.
Go man go. You are in love again!
Truly
Abinash
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
What's on your bed?
Well today I entered my room and this very thought struck me. My bed was occupied by all the things which are not supposed to be on it! So I wondered what all things might be on people's bed? So just thought of putting a list of the things I keep on my bed involuntarily.
Blanket, Laptop
Headphone, Mobile
A water bottle, Jeans/shirt
Dictionary, Ongoing book(s)
Print outs, Hanumaan Chalisha
Hanger(s), pen
a copy, Amrutanjan strong
DVD(s) and a little space for my accommodation. [:)]
So whats things you find on your bed?
truly
Abinash
Blanket, Laptop
Headphone, Mobile
A water bottle, Jeans/shirt
Dictionary, Ongoing book(s)
Print outs, Hanumaan Chalisha
Hanger(s), pen
a copy, Amrutanjan strong
DVD(s) and a little space for my accommodation. [:)]
So whats things you find on your bed?
truly
Abinash
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Memory of a day in my village
Its five in the morning and the whole village is lightened up by the milky white light of the dawn. The rhythmic sound of birds and the silent noise of the river all come to your ear slowly getting louder with every passing seconds as you wearily open your eyes and sense the chill. You wonder is it really summer? You smile at yourself and make yourself cozy under the blanket for few more minutes but the struggle between the laziness and the enthusiasm to explore the morning is finally taken over by the later. You quickly wake up. Rush to wake up your siblings, cousins, sometimes friends.
You have your own plans for the morning. Now its 5:30 the cow boy is guiding the cow herd with that dusty wind you don't close your face you take a deep breath as if the dust in the wind is panacea. This can happen only here. All the gang moves to finish up brushing and cleaning. What next is it food, no something else is yet more important, lets run! run to the field all along side the river. The sun has not yet come out. But you are running down the lane restlessly as if the day will die the next moment. The chill of AC is defeated, the clarity of Dolby Digital sound is defeated, the the whole era is defeated by this small pack of scattered things in the hour. You love each second. Running around, chasing the snakes, picking the snails. The stint halts on the river, you jump in and follow the classical strategies, what? Lets catch fish! You prepare your own temporary yet contemporary reservoir for the fishes. This optimism is obvious. The fishing session is done time to get home. Walk all the way discussing the day plan. Disclosing the fantasies as facts. Telling stories as history! Making ghost the primary resident of any randomly picked old looking tree. "Uss pipal ke pedh mein bhoot hai. Use
kilon se bandha gaya hai... " Life never stops and imaginations take shape. Go home have fresh diary milk, have fresh steaming break fast! Rush again. Its time for gadgets. after all you have to prepare dhanush to fight snakes. with the giggles and zig the dusk come in. It steps in when you are still struggling under the "Aam ka pedh or jaamun ka pedh" You get few and you are more than happy! Ecstatic you return back staring at the swift and agile movement of the cow boy guiding the herd back. The light from "Saanj dia and sound from puja ghanti" resonates from all the souring. You tell the prayers with the gang, brothers friends sitting on the porch of the temple you wonder is there any secrete behind this temple. Its always a weird feeling everything in a village seems to carry a story with it. Solving the dilemma you give direction to thoughts, its time you go to grand father, "Ghost stories" the most demanded at that time. You sleep on the porch snugged to each other no sooner the story finishes. A jerk and a sound wakes you up. The supper is ready. Its you all favorite. Thats favorite not more because you really like it but because you only get then when you come here. A day has passed. First time you realize a days passes at light speed. You sleep on the bed just desperately waiting for the next dawn. Oh sun why go down even today? Every day you set off. Can't you just wait for a single day giving some more time to run under you heat, to be breathless, sweat running down my cheek all the day long? The scent of aam bagan, the speed of snakes, the sound of birds and those old three I get courage to go only when you are there on top. Oh sun ca't you just wait! and you sleep. The next morning comes and goes.
All remains with you for the eternal time is the scent of soil, the care free runs, the never ending fun, the soothing wind, the cow shed, the dog running after you, the life that used to be blue! All remains is the memory and the satisfactory sigh you breath out!
And you end up writing all these like I am doing in a 2nd floor apartment of a cosmopolitan city on the bed cursing the laptop and avoiding the snoozes. Hello! Get back!
Truly
Abinash
Monday, March 17, 2008
Rupee rises on Dollar: Something to be Happy!!!
Today one of my friend called me inquiring about the industry situation. He sounded worried. I asked whats the matter just to find he is worried about the lay off. Companies are in a spree of making employees redundant. But two questions Why? and Whom?.
Why?
The hyped Rupee appreciation against dollar has got the top executives off their seats leaving an weary feeling in them. Every one the industry critics, analysts and the laborers restlessly predicting the future scenario. But does it worth all? All these obsession and hype? I guess no. The rupee has been on its constant voyage of appreciation since quite a while. Most of Indian IT industry is service based. Hence the outsourced work is never as challenging. Its about the low quality software which does a lot but repeated work. India is the greatest factory for skilled labor. The 1200 technical(degree) colleges produce the mass skill to pack the supply-demand gap. This crowd is now on a rise and the industry leader have now realized that the IT infrastructure of India needs an additional blood line supply for survival.
Now with this back ground my views why I think the hype is not worth the hype:
point #1. The Indian market has got enough talent pool in its disposal. So as to leverage and normalize the demand.
Point #2. When I say demand it sounds conflicting as the demand is always regarded as the outsourced demand mostly dependent on US market. But if we see, who are the software meant for? The kind of service oriented software? These software are finally to be consumed by the non technical population of a targeted nation. The so called verticals like banking, Finance, Insurance, Aerospace, Biomedical, Telecoms, Broadcasting, Automobile etc.
Why we have been getting these jobs from outside giants? Two reasons:
a) India has the talent pool at the low labor cost and a relatively friendlier government with easy sounding foreign policies
b) Most importantly they have the consumer of the software there in those country. That is what matters; having the consumer. And it all started with the innovation in other technological areas, in the 80s and 90s. The escalation in Automobile and Aerospace demanded for new hitech softwares so the demand and the Aerospace and automobile software became overnight profit making verticals.
Same with Banking and Finance. The question is we are looking at the consuming market there in the west. But seldom we understand the fact beneath. Its not the software technology, its the appreciation of other industries that drive the service oriented Software market like India. Now if we take a peek at our own domestic market why Rupee is gaining appreciation against Dollar, we find its due to the enlarged and appreciated market in the other sectors. And that is where you get the consumer of your software. With such an growing market now the service industry should look for domestic clients and avoid the dependency on the west market. We have more than 1.2 billion consumer out of which there must be some .5 billion people who are affected by it. A consumer base of .5 billion is giant! The potential lies here.
In turn the foreign investment in India would increase resulting in more demand for quality service. This will give the Indian IT industry a giant opportunity to have a long term stabilized version.
So the depreciation of Dollar against Rupees is not something to get worried about but something to think about. Just to realize the consumer base is slowly shifting from west to the land called India. Hence resulting in an independent industry driven by own economy.
Just think.
Truly
Abinash
Why?
The hyped Rupee appreciation against dollar has got the top executives off their seats leaving an weary feeling in them. Every one the industry critics, analysts and the laborers restlessly predicting the future scenario. But does it worth all? All these obsession and hype? I guess no. The rupee has been on its constant voyage of appreciation since quite a while. Most of Indian IT industry is service based. Hence the outsourced work is never as challenging. Its about the low quality software which does a lot but repeated work. India is the greatest factory for skilled labor. The 1200 technical(degree) colleges produce the mass skill to pack the supply-demand gap. This crowd is now on a rise and the industry leader have now realized that the IT infrastructure of India needs an additional blood line supply for survival.
Now with this back ground my views why I think the hype is not worth the hype:
point #1. The Indian market has got enough talent pool in its disposal. So as to leverage and normalize the demand.
Point #2. When I say demand it sounds conflicting as the demand is always regarded as the outsourced demand mostly dependent on US market. But if we see, who are the software meant for? The kind of service oriented software? These software are finally to be consumed by the non technical population of a targeted nation. The so called verticals like banking, Finance, Insurance, Aerospace, Biomedical, Telecoms, Broadcasting, Automobile etc.
Why we have been getting these jobs from outside giants? Two reasons:
a) India has the talent pool at the low labor cost and a relatively friendlier government with easy sounding foreign policies
b) Most importantly they have the consumer of the software there in those country. That is what matters; having the consumer. And it all started with the innovation in other technological areas, in the 80s and 90s. The escalation in Automobile and Aerospace demanded for new hitech softwares so the demand and the Aerospace and automobile software became overnight profit making verticals.
Same with Banking and Finance. The question is we are looking at the consuming market there in the west. But seldom we understand the fact beneath. Its not the software technology, its the appreciation of other industries that drive the service oriented Software market like India. Now if we take a peek at our own domestic market why Rupee is gaining appreciation against Dollar, we find its due to the enlarged and appreciated market in the other sectors. And that is where you get the consumer of your software. With such an growing market now the service industry should look for domestic clients and avoid the dependency on the west market. We have more than 1.2 billion consumer out of which there must be some .5 billion people who are affected by it. A consumer base of .5 billion is giant! The potential lies here.
In turn the foreign investment in India would increase resulting in more demand for quality service. This will give the Indian IT industry a giant opportunity to have a long term stabilized version.
So the depreciation of Dollar against Rupees is not something to get worried about but something to think about. Just to realize the consumer base is slowly shifting from west to the land called India. Hence resulting in an independent industry driven by own economy.
Just think.
Truly
Abinash
Friday, February 15, 2008
Strange Again :)
And with this the desperate seek of comfort is erased. The ennui remain and the despair or desire to migrate to a different land, a different mass. To have a different origin becomes too hard to bear. The hope in one dimension dies out giving birth to a all new hope in different dimension. It becomes hard to discern, what’s right and what’s wrong. All that remains is the quite desperation to run, fly and escape. To be in a different landscape, to be in a different world.
P.S. Some time I wonder why do I start a sentence, more a paragraph, more an article itself with the phrase “AND”. Don’t know something compels. May be it manages to hide the origin of the feeling which drives you to write such kind of abstruse stuffs.
A Smile :)
Truly
Abinash
P.S. Some time I wonder why do I start a sentence, more a paragraph, more an article itself with the phrase “AND”. Don’t know something compels. May be it manages to hide the origin of the feeling which drives you to write such kind of abstruse stuffs.
A Smile :)
Truly
Abinash
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Photo Blog launched!
Well Well ... after procastinating for quite a while finally the Photo blog is launched. Hey.... cheers! Me and JB have taken up the responsibility to publish all the photographs taken by our camera. Its a small Nikon CoolPix L1. Not a professional SLR camera. Well but given our philosophy of photography we don't need an SLR. We capture the theme of a situation. I mean we try to. So we call it "Thematic Photography" a self coined term. :)
Here is the LINK
http://www.lifesnapped.blogspot.com/
Have good time.
Truly
abinash
Here is the LINK
http://www.lifesnapped.blogspot.com/
Have good time.
Truly
abinash
Saturday, February 09, 2008
A compendium of lines from movies!
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"Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back."- Gladiator
“Sometimes, to order to see the light, you have to risk the dark” - Minority Report
“Perfect I agree, but there's a flaw. It's human”. - Minority Report
"Life is a box of chocolates, U never know what U get"- Forest Gump
“There's a difference in knowing the path and walking the path" The Matrix
“What makes a man? Not by how you begin something but how you finish it.”
“They may take our lives, but they can never take our freedom”- braveheart
“You can cheat death, but u cannot escape it” – Final Destination
“My father offered him a deal for which he could not refuse” - god father
“These are the years when a man turns into the man he's gonna be for the rest of his life”– Spider Man
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about." - American Beauty
"The answer to the question is, that when two people love each other truly, enough is never enough"- The Mexican
"If you want to see a miracle.... Be a miracle!" – Bruce the all mighty
“For Love. For Honor. For Mankind”– Armageddon
“And this part, this small part of my life is called happiness” – Pursuit of happiness
"When in doubt...Fuck !! " - Al Pacino to his dog in a Scent of a woman
"Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back."- Gladiator
“And this part, this small part of my life is called happiness” – Pursuit of happinessTruly
Abinash
The one liners
What is the moral standard of the moral police?
Truly
Abinash
Declaration No: 01/2008
Hi All,
Well now on every day I will put few one liner quotes and limited liner posts on a daily basis. I am going out of touch with blogging and I am growing lazy. So these quotes one liners will be my own brain child and can be reused. J Anyways…. They can be found under the label “daily one liners”.
Truly
Abinash
Friday, February 08, 2008
Its Strange!
Its strange but its true. You struggle questioning yourself why at all you are feeling low. Why what’s may be the reason. You get few answers from your heart but your brain discards them. No you are a better man, you can’t be that sensitive to feel low for these things, and you are not that fragile. Then you get few answers from your brain. But the heart fires back no that can't be the reason. Is it really something that can hurt you? Have not you known yourself? And feeling low is a part of heart how come brain can answer it?
But satisfied with none you keep longing for something. You ignore the heart and avoid the brain and take refuge in something else may be that is what they call soul in philosophy. You try to cry out but in vain. You try hurting yourself but in vain. You have grown coward these days. You have changed. You have changed than what you were yesterday. Every day you are changing and this change is what you dislike. That is what creates the agony. You deserve it. You struggle to become loner but loneliness is what you are trying to fight! Pity!
But satisfied with none you keep longing for something. You ignore the heart and avoid the brain and take refuge in something else may be that is what they call soul in philosophy. You try to cry out but in vain. You try hurting yourself but in vain. You have grown coward these days. You have changed. You have changed than what you were yesterday. Every day you are changing and this change is what you dislike. That is what creates the agony. You deserve it. You struggle to become loner but loneliness is what you are trying to fight! Pity!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
The question?
As asked it was not answered. As answered it was not asked. The question was correct the answer was correct. But the question was not meant for the answer; the answer was not meant for the question. But they were conjugates. They made a pair. They made a pair of completeness for the ignorant. The knowledgeable discarded it. But how about an indifferent like me? No one questioned. No one bothered about the indifferent opinion. But for me neither the question is important nor the answer. All I am happy with is the question and answer can live at the same time being conjugates.
Thats make me more indifferent for I need a solution not an answer!
Truly
Abinash
Thats make me more indifferent for I need a solution not an answer!
Truly
Abinash
The Eyes
In the possession of the present and the delusion of the moment next, my incoherent thoughts take refuge in my rather nonsense fantasies. The whole scene untidy but the desire resolute I ask for you. I ask for your touch; I want you to stop me. How do you stop me without touching? I ask you to speak the words; how do you articulate with out speaking? I want you to understand me. For that you have to ask me. No. But you don't speak, no you don't touch. Just the silence is too noisy and the eyes says it all, touch is hard. And I am stopped and I am understood and I am spoken all by the two glittering eyes.
In the past, the present and the future all that exist are the two glittering eyes.
Truly
Abinash
In the past, the present and the future all that exist are the two glittering eyes.
Truly
Abinash
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